Funniest Pet Stories

[susiestar]

My cat has been delighting us lately and I thought I would share some things here. What are the funny things that your pet does?

Captain can use the tv remote. I have caught him doing so more than once. The first couple of times I thought that J had rolled over on the remote and turned the tv on. When husband and the kids went to my inlaws for Thanksgiving and I stayed home, he did it and there was no one else to do it. Since then he has let me see him as he changes channel or turns up the volume. He likes to blare it really loud when he wants something and isn't getting the service he wants.

Captain also has a favorite nightlight. Well, now he has 2. They project a picture onto the ceiling and he just watches it. They are light sensitive and he will lead us to them during the day and then stare at the ceiling waiting for us to turn them on. We can't, and he is slowly accepting that. The first one showed planets and he loved it so much we got him another for Christmas. It has fish and he is THRILLED, lol.

This last week he started something new. He watches us, esp husband, very carefully. He figured out that we wash our hands after we use the bathroom. He will start meowing and nagging and leading us to his bowl when it is full and his water is full. We finally looked and noticed some litter in the water. that boy is actually washing his paws after he uses the litterbox! Then he has to have us change it because he doesn't want to drink that any more than we would, lol!

He is a smart kitty, and I am ever thankful that he does NOT have opposable thumbs. He would be all sorts of trouble then, lol!

 

[cubsgirl]

We have a 7 y/o cat and a 4 month old kitten. Our older cat, P, can shred paper better than a paper shredder. She turned college term papers into confetti (thankful for computers and save function). Before Christmas she kept trying to get in our closet because she knew we had gift wrap in there - and gift wrap puts her into shredding kitty heaven!

 

[HaoZi]

My cat eats artificial Christmas trees and garlands. Then he gets constipated and wanders around meowing and jumping on things he's not supposed to until he can finally go. He also eats honey mustard and the pimento from olives. Every now and then he steals French fries from this one restaurant we go to, but only their fries. He won't eat fries from any other place.

 

[DDD]

I've got to tell you guys that I am not a cat lover. on the other hand, this thread has made me smile and I can understand how endearing your feline pets can be. DDD

 

[jal]

My cat loves greenbeans and potato chips. Every weekend morning when we are home he will rub himself constantly against husband and I and follow us everywhere. He will bound up and down the hall and careen off of the sofa, etc. He will play hide and go seek. He will fetch and return, better than any dog we've ever had. He will place whatever you are throwing for him @ your feet just to play again. If he can't see your eyes ie: around a corner he will come running after you and chase, but never claw or bite...He was very skitish and introverted when we got him 11 years ago as he was born on a ferral colony and we adopted him and another kitten at the same time. They were close, but since we had to put down the other cat due to a recurring illness that could not be controlled he has become a different entity. The other cat so discreetly dominated him that we never saw it. He will now sit in our laps - constantly. He never did ever before. He still has limits as he won't sprawl on you or totally give up control of his positioning. He hated our free find pure bred Boston terrier (who is 5) when the other cat was alive. The other cat liked the dog. Now the two sleep and play together and clean each other. This cat amazes me so. But try as we might, he does not like difficult child, where the dog loves him to death

 

[Hound dog]

Molly is into xmas as much as any other person in this family. Other holidays too, but xmas is special. She waits every year for me to pull out her jingle bell furlined collar thing. Well, she wore the last one out and I looked high and low this year and came up empty except for cat size. She waited for me to decorate. I know she knew it was dec and she was supposed to be wearing her bells and the house was supposed to be decorated.

Nichole spotted her doggie jingle bells at Flower Factory at a reasonable price. She picked up 3. (Molly, Betsy and Maggie) When I got home I reached into the bag for something and she heard a jingle and came running, plopped down next to me and smothered my face in kisses. She hadn't even seen the darn thing yet, but she knew what was in the bag. lol She and Maggie have been wearing theirs every since. When we walked them on xmas eve.......well we walk past the catholic church and I'd forgotten about the xmas eve masses. So here we are walking the girls in their jingle bells and the dogs are grinning these huge grins...............and folks kept pausing to wish them a very Merry Christmas. They thought they were so cute. lol

Nichole didn't really believe Betsy gave a darn. But she pulled Betsy's out of the bag and she said it was like someone had given her a puppy shot. She was hopping and wiggling around the room going bonkers. :rofl;

My dogs have always received gifts. They wait for Santa Paws to arrive. (I swear Molly knows when it's xmas eve) On xmas morning we take down their stockings and they unwrap their presents.....by themselves. Molly has learned to be neat about it. Maggie followed Molly's example. Too cute. Darrin didn't believe me. Today he gave Maggie the gifts he'd bought her (they're best buds) and I told him to let her open them. His mouth fell open while she gently tore the paper away and got all excited when she saw the bones and the people crackers. lol

The cats get tuna, real tuna. Bruce doesn't like toys and the scratching post Travis got him a few years ago is a door stop. Food, they appreciate, especially the outside cats.

 

[AnnieO]

AngelKitten was the one who could climb walls and ate peas (I posted a video here of her doing so, on her last Friday). Possum likes red grapes but they have to be peeled - and he will drink black coffee.

Squirrel is Meggie's self-appointed protector/mouthpiece. Baby crying? Squirrel will come get us. Hiccups? Into the crib and meows till we come in. But... Where Possum is a great mouser and kills them before he brings them to us, Squirrel will bring them to us with no damage. Then supervise while husband catches them... HUGE spiders too. Darned cat.

Oh yeah. Squirrel likes peppermint candy canes, too.

 

[Star*]

When DF went home to see his Mom and left me alone in the house for two weeks? It was great except for the prowler. Oh there really was a prowler outside trying to take the BBQ grill - but........

being alone.....in a house.....and working 12 hour shifts? I'd have NO reason on earth to put the toilet seat up. I remember distinctly leaving it DOWN.....and going to work. WHen I got home one night I walked in, nothing moved......go past the bathroom, saw the toilet seat up......and went right for my pistol. I put the girls outside and brought the boys INSIDE and gave Bull the command to "FIND" and he looked. He was working the rooms and I"m standing there thinking - YOU DIRTY ROTTEN SOB.....Come into MY house, Get past MY dogs, and then urinate in MY toilet? BOY you gotta be kidding me....and I'm ready for police and SWAT to show up with me holding the crook at bay. I was all GI Joe. We checked each room, each closet, under beds, behind doors....NOTHING.

SO I go to sleep, get up, go to work, put the toilet seat down and think......Alright Mr Smartie Pants.....Think you're going to come into MY house huh? Come home that night, had my firearm with me.....walked into the house, dogs all just normal, nothing going on. Down the hall, and THERE IT IS AGAIN. Toilet seat UP. Call the big dog, do a room search, a perimeter search....I'm going to have someone going to jail tonight by golly. And .......nothing again. Quite a Puzzle.

So the next morning.....and none the worse for wear.....sitting up trying to figure out WHO was stalking the BBQ grill - setting point on that all night. I went down the hall.......past the bathroom, and OUIXA......took her little head, flipped the new (not so expensive) but padded ----toilet seat up in the air, helped herself to a bowl blitz.....and stood there dripping on the carpet. Mystery solved. See we had a really heavy wooden toilet seat and it wore out -----we got a nice padded one, not expensive, and it's really light. So Putting the Lid down here.....does NOT good - Ouixa just opens the dang thing, has me running around like Black Ops in my own house after the POTTY WATER bandit.

Yea I felt about () smart. I'm sure the conversation amongst the furkids could have been a worriesome one. OMG she's loosing it. What happens to us if she goes CRAZY? I don't know but pretend to find SOMETHING dangiit......she's armed and ridiculous. They're going to cart Mommy off to the nuthouse and then what?

Bet they wished they had that cat of yours that could change the TV stations.....probably thought I watched too much NCIS, or Law and Order while I slept.

And as far as Holidays go? I'm positive they knew it was Christmas yesterday. We didn't celebrate for many reasons, and I felt horrid there wasn't anything for them.....so we got them all a rawhide toy today and said MERRY CHRISTMAS and we had FIVE happy tail waggers.....taking their toys.....and making merry.

 

[donna723]

I only have outside cats so if they do anything funny, I probably wouldn't see it anyway. But my dogs are constantly doing funny things. One of the funniest ones I've ever had was my first Boston, Ms. Rudy. Bostons have such expressive, rubbery little faces, they can duplicate almost any human facial expression. Rudy was the only one that I never crated when we were gone and she would sometimes get in to things, like turning over the trash can and playing in the garbage. When caught in the act, Rudy would go right for the sympathy to try to keep out of trouble and she would go straight in to her "pitiful" act. First she would look up at us sadly with those huge soulful eyes. If the sad expression alone didn't work, she would start blinking her eyes very rapidly until real little tears appeared and spilled down her cheeks. If all else failed, she would start walking away v-e-r-y slowly, little tears in her eyes, and she would begin walking with a limp! The dog would actual fake a limp to try to get out of trouble! Of course, it usually worked because by this time, we would be laughing so hard that we couldn't be mad at her anymore for whatever she did. And the funniest part would be when she would forget which side she was limping on and would suddenly change sides and start limping on the other side!

 

[Hound dog]

Star, the visual on that was priceless.

Donna, Rudy should've been an acting dog, she'd have made you a fortune. LOL

 

[susiestar]

Star, I can just see that expression on your dogs' faces! Tooooo Funny!!!

Donna, that is priceless! Our dog (the one I had growing up) didn't have the brain for that. She had too much irish setter for things like that. She DID open the drawer her bones and the cat treats were in, but only wtih the cat giving directions. We saw it a few times when they thought we were busy in the ohter room. This cat also used to toss the dog out of her house if the cat was out and it started raining. The birds and squirrels either curled up with her or kicked her out if there were more than a couple of them that wanted the house. she used to let the birds and squirrels eat first out of her bowl too. It was pretty funny to watch them line up after we put the food in her bowl!

Capn is rather disgruntled right now. He always tries to sit on husband's computer when it is closed so that husband cannot use it or leave with it. husband got a kindle fire from his folks and a laptop from me and the cat is upset because he isn't big enough to sit on them all at the same time so husband is distracted from his 'duties' of scratching the cat's ears, being his mattress, and basically spending all his attention on the cat. It is pretty funny to watch, lol. He is just getting over being annoyed because husband went back to using his cpap machine after not using it for couple of weeks. he has been trying Occupational Therapist (OT) figure out how to get it off husband's face, which is fun to watch!

Some years back, when my childhood dog was still alive, my folks were asleep with their bedroom door open (it has a door to the outside). My dad woke up one night because he heard a strange noise. He finally figured out that my mom would snore, and after every snore the dog would give a very soft 'woof'. The dog and my mom kept this up for several hours, and my dad recorded it because he knew that NO ONE would ever believe it otherwise! That tape was priceless!

 

[flutterby]

This one probably belongs more under Stupid Human stories than Funny Pet stories, but.... You know how cats pick a spot and they always sleep in that spot until they suddenly, and randomly, pick another spot? My 12 year old cat's spot was on top of the printer. I couldn't figure out how to keep her off it. Not only was she constantly printing, copying, and scanning things, she somehow reinstalled the printer on the computer 4 times (the installation CD was *not* in the drive). I doubt if the manufacturer knows how to install the printer like that. This went on for months and I could not figure out how to keep her off of the printer. One day, I had my hands full and needed one available, so I set a large bowl down on top of the printer....light bulb went off and now a casserole dish resides on top of my printer. No more cat copying, printing, scanning, or reinstalling the printer. by the way, I can't delete any of the duplicate installations on my computer because then the printer won't work at all and I can't find the installation CD, so there are 5 copies of the same printer installed on my computer.

If I'm not petting Roo (dog) where he wants to be petted, he will grab my hand with his mouth and move it to where he wants it.

 

[Jody]

Broady my best friend, hates my nook. Everytime I lay in bed he's right next to me on my left side, laying with his head by mine, fine and dandy but though I love him, I am not going to just lay there and stare into his sad brown puppy eyes all night. I want to read my nook. when he sees me getting my nook, he gets onto the bed and lays in my spot sideways so i can't lay down. When I do get into bed with the nook, he takes his nose and tries to make me put it up, generally I do this is why it has worked for him, lol. I got a tablet for Christmas and when he saw me pick it up to get into bed, he rururu'd at me and a big deep sigh of surrender came along with it.

I got both of the dogs squeaky ball toys and it was too funny at my house yesterday, Broady was in one room squeaking his and Nyla would hear it from the kitchen and start whining and then go find hers and then start squeaking, when she would squeak Broady would stop and wait till she stopped, I guess he wanted to be the only one making noise. It was driving my daughters nuts. I love to see the dogs playing. The balls will be special toys for when momns home alone with the puppies, Daughters won that one. lol.

 

[1905]

My sister had this gigantic Basset Hound, he was so cute. She would take him out for a jog and sometimes when someone came along, only when someone came along....he would lay suddenly lay on his back and all 4 legs would be straight up in the air, he would put on this act only when someone came along. The person would be like, "OMG, Is your dog ok?" And she would tell the dog to stop it and say he's putting on an act for you, meanwhile the person would think she was the worst dog owner...she couldn't move him. As soon as the person walked away...he would get right up and end his "show".

He would also store things in his cheeks and spit them out at random times. She was walking him on the streets of NYC once and suddenly he spit out her underwear.

 

[donna723]

My brother had a big Basset Hound like that several years ago. He had so much loose skin on his stubby little legs, he looked like he was wearing baggy socks all the time. Standing up, he was tall enough to reach anything he wanted off of their kitchen counters ... like whole packages of meat left out to defrost. They had a bi-fold door on their pantry and he learned how to open it. He would take whole loaves of bread or unopened boxes of cereal out of the pantry, open them, and eat the entire thing. I once had the funniest set of pictures, only funny if you saw them all together in the right order. We stayed the night with them once and my son was sleeping on a single-size air mattress on the floor. In the first picture my son is sound asleep in the middle of the air mattress with his head on the pillow and the dog sleeping on the floor on the right side of the mattress. In the second picture, the dog and my son are both sleeping on the air mattess and they are sharing the pillow. In the third picture, the dog is sleeping right in the middle of the mattress with his head on the pillow, and my son is sleeping on the floor just to the left of the mattress!

 

[Hound dog]

Now those basset hounds have personality. I've had four of them over the years. Never a dull moment for certain. LOL