Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!


    I'm so mad I could spit!

    We are now officially late for difficult child 1's Fall concert because I left it up to him to tell me when he's supposed to be there. And he's supposed to be there NOW. But he didn't tell me that (and I relied on him to tell me) he needed to be there by NOW, so I didn't know that I should have picked him up from lacrosse practice EARLY so he could get home and shower with enough time to get to the concert on TIME. Instead, I picked him up at his usual time, took him and difficult child 2 (who had to stay at school until 5:00pm finishing up a LATE assignment) to grab some fast food and head home so he could shower. We got home at 5:40. He's supposed to be at the concert for a warmup rehearsal at 5:50!!!!!!!


    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :grrr:
  2. rlsnights

    rlsnights New Member

    Sorry - sounds like the law of natural consequences will drop it's leaden foot on his grade for orchestra hm?

    Too bad that it will also aggravate the heck out of you in the meantime.
  3. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I think I foresee a bad case of natural consequences. His foul-up. Let him deal with it.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Rather than get upset and try to hurry him, let him get ready and tell you when you need to leave. If it is immediate, make SURE you take time to put whatever you are doing away before you leave.

    His grade, his concert, his his his his his.

    NOT yours. HIS.

    If you get all upset and stressed over this it iwll take responsibility off of his shoulders. So you must pretend to not be in a hurry.

    Don't jump when he says jump. Or hurry to the car when he says he is late.

    If you jump right up and hurry out, it will tell him that he can push it to the limits because you will ALWAYS stop mid-whatever to take him to an activity he forgot about.

    Let natural consequences rule the day. ONE of them should be that MOM doesn't have to shove her stuff aside just because difficult child is running late.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I guess what frosts me is that he was not even thinking about what time he needed to be there. He just assumed that for a 7pm concert he needed to be there at 6:30pm like all the years past. Well, this is high school, and it's different now. He had no idea he was late until I happened to go online while he was in the shower getting ready at 5:45pm and discovered that he was supposed to be there at 5:50pm.

    He sure did hustle after I hollered the news through the bathroom door! He got dressed in his concert clothes, but couldn't find his shoes! I'd reminded him the night before to make sure he had pants to wear, etc. He grabbed a pair of dress shoes that I'd set out for Goodwill, only to discover they were several sizes too small. I made him go back in the house and look for the right pair. He apologized the whole way there and weathered my tirade about responsibility with humility. He felt bad. I said great, now DO something about it!!! Take the steps you must to ensure you don't continue to drop the ball for things like this, like assignments, like everything else that's not a burning passion for you.

    I am wiped now. Hectic day of running around in circles, and then I come home to husband who has been mostly helpful with difficult child 2 and his homework, but missing the mark with so many other things that he needed to do tonight and starting to lose his cool. Sometimes we just have to let it all go and start over tomorrow.

    difficult child 1 did not get a lick of homework done tonight. He's just too tired after starting at zero period today, biking to school, biking to lacrosse practice and then the workout at practice, only to rush home then rush to the concert. Can't say I blame him for being done. But I plan on getting his butt up early in the morning to at least start the homework. He can't afford to skip it.