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Gaining some ground again
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 629812" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Child,</p><p></p><p>I am so glad to hear you are back on your feet, even if wobbly. I never doubted that that would happen..</p><p></p><p>I have to say, in my own life, and in my conversations with my sister (who has a terribly disabled adult child) that in the darkest hours the burden of knowing that we can and will keep on is almost its own problem..my sister and I moan that we would LIKE to be the person who can give up, the person who can just REALLY collapse, let others pick up the pieces, take me away and let me pad around in laceless shoes for a while with support groups and safety checks.</p><p></p><p>In other words, to be a bit GFGish.</p><p></p><p>But we aren't those people.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is you. That is me. The key is we are learning how to do it with grace...to keep the suffering down. Thich Nhat Hahn says when we learn to suffer well we suffer less (although there will always be suffering). We are trying to learn to suffer well. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This seems very very true and very important. Your son, Child, has been respecting your boundaries and hasn't called. I hope you are able to talk to him Thursday. My son, too, has dropped back...I got one call from him yestarday, and when I didn't answer (I was going to answer but missed it), he tried SO once, and that was that. </p><p></p><p>We have trained them to harass us...now we are retraining them, and us, and in the process they are finding different resources...and we too, are finding new ways of identifying ourselves that don't include defining ourselves as their rescuers, available 24/7, never count the cost. We are finding new ways to define ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for letting us know you feel better today, in this moment. Cherish that, fix it in your mind. The strength of days like today help shorten the darkness of the harder days.</p><p></p><p>With hugs and affection</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 629812, member: 17269"] Child, I am so glad to hear you are back on your feet, even if wobbly. I never doubted that that would happen.. I have to say, in my own life, and in my conversations with my sister (who has a terribly disabled adult child) that in the darkest hours the burden of knowing that we can and will keep on is almost its own problem..my sister and I moan that we would LIKE to be the person who can give up, the person who can just REALLY collapse, let others pick up the pieces, take me away and let me pad around in laceless shoes for a while with support groups and safety checks. In other words, to be a bit GFGish. But we aren't those people. That is you. That is me. The key is we are learning how to do it with grace...to keep the suffering down. Thich Nhat Hahn says when we learn to suffer well we suffer less (although there will always be suffering). We are trying to learn to suffer well. This seems very very true and very important. Your son, Child, has been respecting your boundaries and hasn't called. I hope you are able to talk to him Thursday. My son, too, has dropped back...I got one call from him yestarday, and when I didn't answer (I was going to answer but missed it), he tried SO once, and that was that. We have trained them to harass us...now we are retraining them, and us, and in the process they are finding different resources...and we too, are finding new ways of identifying ourselves that don't include defining ourselves as their rescuers, available 24/7, never count the cost. We are finding new ways to define ourselves. Thank you for letting us know you feel better today, in this moment. Cherish that, fix it in your mind. The strength of days like today help shorten the darkness of the harder days. With hugs and affection Echo [/QUOTE]
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