Gaming Systems with Internet Connections

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Andy, Jan 15, 2011.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    As we are concerned about our kids playing violent games, something to also be aware of - difficult child told me that his friend H gets lots of swearing and bad mouthing thrown at him when he plays his PS on-line. This is from people he does not personaly know and during a game he is addictive to because he is new to the games and doesn't always make what the other gamers view as wise moves.

    difficult child has internet connection with his X-Box and knowing what H is going through, I keep close tabs on him while he plays. He has a set time each time and is pretty good about getting off when he is suppose to. Games are about 10 minutes long so it is easy to turn off the system after a round.

    Although I can not hear what the other players are saying, I do hear how difficult child responds. I can tell by his responses if he is being spoken to inappropriately. While some kids may sit and take this verbal abuse quietly (and for those kids you can sometimes watch for body language), my difficult child will talk back and throw it back at them. AND, I can make sure that he is not critizing, swearing at, bad mouthing someone else who may be "messing up" the game.

    I worry about the older kids who are addicted getting super mad at the younger newer kids who do not play as well - they have not learned the strategies of the game. What I hear from difficult child is that when you sign into play with someone, you are on their side so if you do something that others would consider the wrong thing to do, your team members can get very upset and let the inappropriate language start. It also opens them up to poor sportsmanship of "Ohhh, I see you are not as good as I am!" in a bad sort of putting you down attitude.

    Just wanted to let you know that the games the kids play on line are not just about their actions but about what total strangers are saying to them.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    My daughter has experienced (and reacted) the same to forums on sites geared towards her own age group.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    YUCK. I sometimes this all this connectedness provided by the internet is just not a good thing. We don't play any games online via game systems, largely because I have some Luddite tendencies regarding my kids. This is yet another reason to not play them. Wiz used to play a few games at the place he also played D&D because they have a couple of x boxes there. He has told me many times that the games played online that way are NOT for his younger siblings for quite a while yet (LOL considering not having/being allowed to play these things was a major reason he didn't think we had any business parenting him.). Most of what he objects to is the way the players treat each other, but I thought it was players in the room with you, not scattered all over the internet.

    I am sorry that kids have to deal with this and that so few have parents who will supervise these things.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    difficult child 3 iss one kid who gets verbally abusive with other players online. Part of the problem is, he's playing a game that is not supposed to be available to anyone under 16 years of age, but I suspect a lot of the other players are actually too young. And so they make stupid moves, or accidental moves.

    I deal with it by videotaping difficult child 3 (secretly) and then producing it in therapy sessions with him. He knows he has to do better and also knows we will literally pull the plug if we don't like what we hear.

    Part of the problem - other players are also often inappropriate and this sets our boys off.

    I haven't banned this, because this sort of give-take/push-pull is what they will encounter in life, and they have to learn how to be more appropriate and deal with it. But I do monitor, and I do step in sometimes.

    We can't shield our kids forever, so we need to use these events as teaching opportunities.

    I would strongly urge parents of difficult children especially, to not allow online access if your child is under the required age limit. Or if you do, then stay around and supervise.