Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Gave daughter 2 weeks to move out
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757336" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Strangeword: While therapy has it's positive aspects, and it may be a strong support for you, I don't think arriving to this "point" has anything to do with the need to do anything intensely or even to feel or believe something strongly.</p><p></p><p>I think we always will feel some ambivalence. I think I will always be vulnerable at moments. I believe I will always have moments of regret and even of self-doubt.</p><p></p><p>What I think is this: We arrive to accept that we have free choice and personal responsibility. And so do our children. And we choose one time, to act based upon that. That we alone are responsible to have the life we want and need. But first it begins with today, this minute. And we do what we need to do today, this minute.</p><p></p><p>And then again, and again and again, we act from this place. From free choice and from personal responsibility. And yes, in this way we do the right thing for our child. Because as long as we stay enmeshed with them, there is no way that that supports them to act on their own behalf from free choice and personal responsibility. Should we begin to choose to distance ourselves from their maladaptive behavior what happens is that we give these adults the opportunity to begin to do the same thing for themselves; to take steps to have a free life.</p><p>Who cares? She may or she may not. She may have learned that you respond in the way she wants, if she says she feels abandoned by you. This is manipulating. And it is gaslighting. You can choose to stay focused upon what is the best thing for her, and for you. And the best thing is not based upon feelings, either hers or yours. The best thing is based upon thinking and considered decisions made about personal welfare and the welfare of others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757336, member: 18958"] Dear Strangeword: While therapy has it's positive aspects, and it may be a strong support for you, I don't think arriving to this "point" has anything to do with the need to do anything intensely or even to feel or believe something strongly. I think we always will feel some ambivalence. I think I will always be vulnerable at moments. I believe I will always have moments of regret and even of self-doubt. What I think is this: We arrive to accept that we have free choice and personal responsibility. And so do our children. And we choose one time, to act based upon that. That we alone are responsible to have the life we want and need. But first it begins with today, this minute. And we do what we need to do today, this minute. And then again, and again and again, we act from this place. From free choice and from personal responsibility. And yes, in this way we do the right thing for our child. Because as long as we stay enmeshed with them, there is no way that that supports them to act on their own behalf from free choice and personal responsibility. Should we begin to choose to distance ourselves from their maladaptive behavior what happens is that we give these adults the opportunity to begin to do the same thing for themselves; to take steps to have a free life. Who cares? She may or she may not. She may have learned that you respond in the way she wants, if she says she feels abandoned by you. This is manipulating. And it is gaslighting. You can choose to stay focused upon what is the best thing for her, and for you. And the best thing is not based upon feelings, either hers or yours. The best thing is based upon thinking and considered decisions made about personal welfare and the welfare of others. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Gave daughter 2 weeks to move out
Top