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Substance Abuse
Gave daughter 2 weeks to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757339" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>If we can grasp this basic truth there is the potential to have some peace in ourselves and in our lives. </p><p></p><p>When our children are in the place, that has brought us all here, their lives are in chaos and our lives, too, as long as we are struggling to help them resolve the contradictions and confusion that are causing us and them such pain. </p><p></p><p>The thing is, as RN writes, these conflicts and contradictions cannot be reconciled. By us. The wrinkles can't be ironed out, because they're coming from something deep inside our kids, that only they can resolve. </p><p></p><p>When they are distressed and in trouble, we keep straightening out the troubling circumstances, and they keep creating new ones. We keep inventing new words and new deeds to see if these will help, because nothing else we've tried, has worked, thus far. But every iteration of new words, new deeds, by us, fails anew, leading usually, to greater confusion and pain.</p><p></p><p>The cure for us is to realize that our efforts to un-wrinkle our kids, is a compulsion. We have become dis-eased, too. The treatment for us is to remove ourselves to one degree or another from our children, who trigger our dis-ease. There is no other way, in my experience. </p><p></p><p>Instead, we keep applying "treatments" to them. And none of them work. We need to begin to apply the treatments to ourselves. And to remove ourselves from the contagion that they've introduced in our lives. Only then will our suffering recede and remit. </p><p></p><p>I wish to G-d there was another way. For me, I have not found it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757339, member: 18958"] If we can grasp this basic truth there is the potential to have some peace in ourselves and in our lives. When our children are in the place, that has brought us all here, their lives are in chaos and our lives, too, as long as we are struggling to help them resolve the contradictions and confusion that are causing us and them such pain. The thing is, as RN writes, these conflicts and contradictions cannot be reconciled. By us. The wrinkles can't be ironed out, because they're coming from something deep inside our kids, that only they can resolve. When they are distressed and in trouble, we keep straightening out the troubling circumstances, and they keep creating new ones. We keep inventing new words and new deeds to see if these will help, because nothing else we've tried, has worked, thus far. But every iteration of new words, new deeds, by us, fails anew, leading usually, to greater confusion and pain. The cure for us is to realize that our efforts to un-wrinkle our kids, is a compulsion. We have become dis-eased, too. The treatment for us is to remove ourselves to one degree or another from our children, who trigger our dis-ease. There is no other way, in my experience. Instead, we keep applying "treatments" to them. And none of them work. We need to begin to apply the treatments to ourselves. And to remove ourselves from the contagion that they've introduced in our lives. Only then will our suffering recede and remit. I wish to G-d there was another way. For me, I have not found it. [/QUOTE]
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Gave daughter 2 weeks to move out
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