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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 76497" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>He got rewarded for being nasty. Doubt there is a single mother alive who hasn't done the same thing. Sometimes our sanity is more important than their "winning." Best thing you can do is try to make his consequences consequences that don't ground you as well. I found that removing television cords was a consequence I could live with but my daughter couldn't. One thing I found has helped with her general nastiness is I simply don't respond -- not just to what is being said at that moment, but to almost everything. I will be polite but that's it. When she asks why I'm not talking to her, I simply state that I don't talk to people who treat me the way she is treating me. So, if she wants her mom, she needs to treat me as her mom. This doesn't always work, but does more often than not.</p><p></p><p>However, I have a bigger issue with you not hugging him back. I understand the anger and frustration you had but he's still a kid and still needs reassurance that no matter what he does, he'll be loved. I think kids like ours need the reassurance even more than most kids. It's one thing if a hug is being done as a manipulation but if it is genuine, I believe it should be returned. It doesn't have to be long or even very loving, just an acknowledgement that you are his mom and do love him even if you loathe his actions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 76497, member: 3626"] He got rewarded for being nasty. Doubt there is a single mother alive who hasn't done the same thing. Sometimes our sanity is more important than their "winning." Best thing you can do is try to make his consequences consequences that don't ground you as well. I found that removing television cords was a consequence I could live with but my daughter couldn't. One thing I found has helped with her general nastiness is I simply don't respond -- not just to what is being said at that moment, but to almost everything. I will be polite but that's it. When she asks why I'm not talking to her, I simply state that I don't talk to people who treat me the way she is treating me. So, if she wants her mom, she needs to treat me as her mom. This doesn't always work, but does more often than not. However, I have a bigger issue with you not hugging him back. I understand the anger and frustration you had but he's still a kid and still needs reassurance that no matter what he does, he'll be loved. I think kids like ours need the reassurance even more than most kids. It's one thing if a hug is being done as a manipulation but if it is genuine, I believe it should be returned. It doesn't have to be long or even very loving, just an acknowledgement that you are his mom and do love him even if you loathe his actions. [/QUOTE]
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