General Ramblings and stuff....

[buddy]

Well, lets see... first Q's doctor called and all the blood test results were great, no diabetes, not thyroid issues, no anything except even with 1000 units of Vitamin D it was still lowish....but it is much closer to normal.

He has not been gaining at the rate he was... well at least his clothes still fit and I was buying new clothes every two weeks so I think it was a growth spurt and that is wonderful... I am good with that, just didn't want a 300 lb kid from a 90 lb kid in a year! Still I think the Lithium does nothing for him but I am unwilling to touch anything until summer.... just in case.....

Can I just whine a little.... while I like Valentines day ok... I mean big deal really, but as usual... party days at school just s*ck. I just proactively told them that he was going to have a s*ckie day and I had a dr. appointment so just hang tough (probably bad idea since tomorrow is the every two weeks now IEP...ugggg WHINE number two.. my stomach does not do well with these IEP issues... uggg

So, I went to the dr myself and apparently back when I snapped my finger backwards (refresher.. when Q was in the hospital I sat up in bed and my finger from the knuckle up snapped all the way back and then back to the right place and instantly started swelling, I then fainted from the pain... oh the drama, LOL).. well that was the beg. of NOV and every day it swells, the lines in my knuckle kind of disappear.. yeah it is huge... guess I can't get married ever now! the ring finger is gross.... so apparently it is called an avulsion fracture and I didn't do anything to hurt it more because they would have spinted it and now I tape it to keep the swelling down. She said since it is functional (the tendons tore off and pulled some of the bone with it... UGGG no wonder it hurt, just saying it makes me queasy) It will just permanently never straighten or bend all the way again. She said to try to keep the range so only tape as needed.... My sinus infection is getting better and yes, she laughed at my emotional onset of menopause..... which seems to be back to peri menopuause....

I had to get back xrays because the pain is so right in the bones.... so there is a no fun cost but this place accepts small payments till the end of time so I did it... AND finally I lost another 9 lbs! yeah me. (as I ate my chicken burrito from taco bell tonight, oh well)

Finally, I am just not thrilled about going to an IEP meeting that I feel will be unproductive. If the goal is to go from person to person and read off every single awful thing Q said or did to each and every person and then say good bye... well both the psychiatric and law advocate said we will just end it and leave. I am good with that.

uggg.

We do have to END it at one hour this time... no more ugly marathons... because the psychiatric and I are going to go look at the school again. He hasn't seen it yet.

I am nearly done with the private school app and will drop it off Thursday.

OH.... I forgot... after Q had a FIT in the waiting room of the psychologist today, punching me in the arm and pounding on me... (so the woman got to see it).... he left and worked with her ok... then I had to get my rx and while in the store he asks for money.... NO WAY... then he says but I picked out this Valentines day card and flower for you....... WELL as I have told many of you before I get NOTHING from him usually... nothing on my birthday, nothing on Xmas etc... unless someone else directs it...

SO YES, I gave him 3 bucks and bought my own Valentines day flower/card.... LOL


So that is my rambly update... as overwhelmed as I should be, I am just a little off and feel remarkably like this is so beyond anything I can control anymore I feel a little numb. Is that weird? I am not checked out or anything but I feel like not just armor is on... more like a mental block ... every defense is up... I guess that is the essence of the Serenity Prayer.... maybe I am gaining the wisdom to know the difference???

 

[tiredmommy]

I'm sorry, I couldn't finish reading the update on your finger (ewww!). I hope it heals well. As for everything else... I'm sorry Q got violent with you. But I am impressed that he decided to pick out a Valentine's gift, it shows he's absorbing some cultural norms.

 

[TeDo]

Wow hon.....I just don't know what to say....Let me see...YEAH for the blood results and weight gain slow down....OWWWWW and sorry about the finger....How were the back xray results....YUM (jealousy POURING out) Taco Bell (more JEALOUSY)....I LOVE the advocate & psychiatric's plan for the IEP meeting (point out the "stacks" of work teacher gave you at conferences THIS time).....Sorry Q assaulted you again....YEA the therapist got to see it.....How WONDERFUL about the Valentine's (my kids didn't even get me a card...more JEALOUSY)....WHEW....did I miss anything? You are allowed to whine PRN.....I really hope tomorrow is a better day.

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} sweetie!!

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

So many things to comment on. Sorry about the finger. That stinks. Way To Go on the weight loss and a splurge once in a while will actually go a long way to keep you losing weight because it is when we feel restricted that we humans tend to go way off the diet. So that chicken burrito? Was TOTALLY a good thing! (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!). Sorry you need the back xrays but glad you could get them done.

Glad therapist got to see Q hurting you, but I am sorry it happened. Awesome about the Vday card/flower! I do have a question here - Q spends time with an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) person, right? Why is this person, or one of the others who does things with him, not having him purchase cards and small gifts for you for your birthday and holidays? MOST kids have to be taught to do this. It teaches them some valuable lessons - to realize what others do for them, to think about what other people would like, generosity, kindness, etc.... Yes, with a child you have to pay for your own gift, but it STILL is an important lesson for them to learn. When my kids were in elem school, they would get $ to buy gifts for people AND a little bit to get something for themselves because it was just more than they could cope with to get stuff for everyone but them. Heck, I still don't mind that IF they are putting tought into what the people on their list would really enjoy. If they are just getting whatever with no thought, then I mind letting them get something for themselves, but they are not little kids now. in my opinion Q is still a little kid and this could even become fun for him if the person who takes him handles it properly.

I know this is a "little" thing in some regards, but showing someone you love and appreciate them, esp on those days when society says you should, is important. in my opinion anyway.

I am glad psychiatric and advocate are going to IEP with you and will just end it if it is jsut a litany of sins. in my opinion that is stupid and pointless. Glad you are going to the school tomorrow with psychiatric too.

(((((hugs)))))

 

[buddy]

I agree Susie, he has had people coach him to buy things and yes I appreciate it and love him up for it.... But on his own he has never done that. (and this year he just flat out refused, didn't even make cards for me at school) So, when HE brought it up, I was pretty excited and gave him the cash.... Of course I dont care who paid for it, that right now is not the lesson. As you said, he is just learning to consider someone elses feelings. I got a ton of hugs too. Sadly, it all got better after I gave him his afternoon dose of Ritalin....I gave it a little early since he was so showing a lack of impulse control.... and he did great I am sure because a little of the concerta was still there added to the Ritalin (which is fine, doctors gave me a time window... but I usually push it out, today I didn't). Same story as it was when he went to the hospital.... due to his growth the dose of concerta he is on is not enough but no one will increase it due to the high dose he is on..... Not that I want his life at risk but it is so sad that they feel it is ok to put him on all of these other medications that are causing multiple other health issues and simply aren't working... and they are in addition to the concerta/clonidine combo..... yet the slight risk of upping what we know works, will improve his quality of life (not to mention everyone else's) and by the way, he has constant heart checks and blood work and everything is great.

Sorry for the vent, just sometimes I get so torn.... of course I dont want his life at risk, but isn't it anyway with Lithium and increased Lyrica??? HE is on FIVE times the Lyrica he was on because the Lithium lowered his seizure threshold. And all the issues with Lithium... forthe limited benefit I think we see (hard to know because I dont know if the pre hospital/during hospital behavior might come back without it for sure, but since it only happened with the medication reaction to Lamictal I suspect it would not go to that extreme) We will definately be working on this in June.

 

[Wiped Out]

OWWWW about the finger!!! Congrats on the weight loss!

How sweet of Q to think of buying (o.k. you buying) you a Valentine Card!!

I'm sorry had you had to deal with more violence but it is good therapist saw.

Crossing fingers they focus on positives at the IEP. ((((hugs))))

 

[Ktllc]

A lot happened for you yesterday. And it is ok to complain. Sometimes, we have bad days... but please don't feel like the world is attacking you personally. Not that you said that in any way, but it is so easy to feel like it though. Sh*t just happens and you're right a little numbness can't hurt.
As far as Valentine's day: my husband must need to learn some social skills LOL. He forgot a card, again. But I was not really raised in the whole Valentin'es day stuff, I don't really care. My parents never gave me a Valentine. Q must have some French blood in him!
I hope today will be better. Good morning: wrap that finger and hope for the best!

 

[hearts and roses]

{{{Buddy}}}

Whine, vent, whatever, that's what we are here for. Congrats on the ups, prayers for the downers. At least you are able to recognize the daily positives, Buddy. That is often very difficult to do when we are feeling so overwhelmed.

 

[TerryJ2]

Ewwww! OWIEEEE! I am so sorry about your finger. That's awful.
That's a bit distracting ... have to give the rest of the note some thought ...
I understand you not wanting to attend a nonproductive mtng. Sigh.
Glad the blood tests came back normal and that the Vit D is doing well. There are no easy answers.

School party? What school party? I forgot to check the website ... too late now ...arrrrghhh

 

[InsaneCdn]

Terry... many of us don't notice any more, but yesterday was Valentine's Day. Which, for many schools, means "class party time"...
<wink>

 

[AnnieO]

Wow, just wowowowow!

I don't know what else to say. It sounds truly like you are handling things well, though!

 

[Otto von Bismark]

AND finally I lost another 9 lbs! yeah me. (as I ate my chicken burrito from taco bell tonight, oh well)

I know you know that taking care of yourself is important. Losing nine pounds is amazing, and hard to do, right? 1 chicken burrito will not make you gain it back, so don't feel bad. It is good to take a break from strict dieting, so you don't burn out. I know you know this, too.
Yay, you!

Also, ice that finger. Keep icing. 20 minutes on, whenever you think of it. Do it for weeks. You can have inflammation in there for a long time. I just had shoulder surgery and my orthopedic surgeon and physical therapist had me ice for two months! My family has all busted up fingers of some kind of another and we did take anti-inflammatory for fingers. Pain like that that never stops can also wear you down and you need to take care of yourself so you can handle your kidlet.

And don't get me started on Valentine's Day. Barf, roar, barf. You are doing a good job!

 

[DDD]

If you're not feeling like "yourself" lately I bet its' because you've worn the Warrior Mom Armour Outfit for too long with-o having a mental rest. Just leave it in your closet until you have to put the hot sweaty thing back on before the IEP meeting. Probably your poor hurt finger needs a rest from lifting it every day too.

You're awesome but everyone needs a break from high stress. Daily high stress is alot worse for your health than a splurge burrito or two. Sorry you had such a yucky day but hoping tomorrow goes smoothly.
DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

DDD: Here's a proverbial <LIKE> ! Well-said.