hearts and roses
Mind Reader
So, I think I posted about difficult child and E becoming engaged (around December 23rd), right? My memory has been foggy since the surgery, so I forgot a lot of things I said and did. Good times.
So, difficult child and E went to a bridal show and of course signed up for freebies. She's been making plans and figuring stuff out and running around gathering information. They've chosen their ceremony location (outdoors in a pavilion at a state park up north of here) and the reception will be at E's parent's home - they have a nice flat, large, wooded yard, & pool. I guesstimate there will be approximately 110-120 guests for the reception. Between exh's family, mine and E's, there's the first 90 or so. Big families and everyone loves a wedding! Since I've been down for the count, difficult child has been just going at it. I asked her to please slow down and wait for me so we can sit and create a budget for everything, create a list of guests, shop for dresses, JP, rental stuff, etc. I asked her about her guest list. She said, she's only inviting family to the reception but telling anyone and everyone they are welcome to stop by the reception. WHAT??!?! I tried to explain to her how dangerous that was in terms of food, drinks, seating, and expense. OMG>could you just imagine? She'd post it on Facebook and every loser in her past would show up to drink and eat for free!
Anyway, because I'm feeling better now, we've made tentative plans to meet at Panera's with pen and paper and go over some things. She wants easy child to join us, but I am not so sure at this point if that's a wise idea. easy child will be difficult child's Maid of Honor, but difficult child never asked her - she assumed it was understood. easy child said to me, "WHAT?! When did she ask me??" when I mentioned it to her. I swear, young people just don't seem to know about protocol, tradition, ettiquette, etc. It's maddening to me, but I cannot say I was much different for my first wedding, although I did know to ask and not assume anything. Anyway, they've chosen August 2013 as their wedding month, I think the 24th, so we have some time. I understand she wants everything arranged and finalized now, but there is a time table to follow and I'm trying to help her understand and realize that. Also, she needs to delegate some things to others, namely easy child, me, H, and E's family, if she can. So wish me luck when we sit down for this meeting. The funnest part will be dress shopping. I had hoped she'd wear my wedding dress from when I married her bio-dad, as my mother made it and it's beautiful. She tried it on, liked it, but wants her own dress. She wants to wear the veil, however, which is all lace with a beautiful headpiece that my mom also made. It is white so we'll be looking for a white dress. I think we're scheduled to hit up the first bridal shop next weekend. I'm bringing my cane for that trip - something tells me I will need it. And I'm fairly certain easy child is not so into shopping with us, but I'll ask. difficult child would like easy child to be involved in some of the planning, but I can see easy child balking at that a little, so I tried to put difficult child off at least for a little while. It's not necessary at this point anyway. We're over a year away and it's an at home wedding, so we have a lot more flexibility than those who are booking halls and churches.
Now I have to really get H going on the addition - it needs to be COMPLETED by the time they are married. He's laying down the floor and so hopefully by Summer we will be upstairs in our new room, awesome. Then we can tear down walls downstairs, fun.
easy child held a very successful fundraiser last week for her May trip to Ghana. They raised about $2000 for supplies for the orphanage, which is great. However, easy child still hasn't found a sponsor for her travel expenses. We were hoping my boss/brother in law would come through with some sort of donation, but he blew her off, twice, when she asked him if he could help in any way. The airfare alone is $2000 and then there are the extraneous costs of hotel, food, etc., while she's there. Granted, it's cheap to stay there, but she would like to have a cushion in her account should any emergencies arise. I'm going to tell her to put in a request for sponsorship from our local Grange. They sometimes help with volunteer efforts like this, maybe they will come through for her. She did receive about $150 in private donations for her travel expenses, but it's not enough to really make a dent. I'm very disappointed that my brother in law didn't do anything for her. I mean, he makes A LOT of money and makes donations every year towards other charities, why not this? He said something about it not being tax deductible, whatever. I can't even list all the ways in which this man and his family (my sister) pisses away their money. easy child even made a spreadsheet for him to review and an appointment to go over it, met with him, etc., and he just didn't respond. I wish some Daddy Warbucks would come out of the woodwork and help easy child out! Being on disability for 8 weeks, I sure can't. Waaaah.
easy child is also seeing a very nice guy, Jon. He's very cute (looks a little like Ralph Macchio when he was the karate kid, lol) and very tall - he towers over her, but they make a very nice looking couple. I met his family at the fundraiser and they are very nice people. Casper was also there with his mom, but easy child was very diplomatic, lol. Anyway, I think this guy could be 'the one'....I don't know why I think that, I just do. Time will tell. She's still going to school full time, working full time and living at home.
mother in law is doing very well on her own down in FL. She seems to have taken nicely to widowhood and is keeping herself busy. She sometimes gets bored and calls all her adult kids, but for the most part, she's out and about, visiting friends, doing day trips, and staying active in her clubs. My brother in law is going down there next week for Spring break (he's a professor at Carnegie Mellon). And H is talking about going down as well, though probably not until late March, early April. He kept saying HE was going, but now he's saying WE are going. To be honest, I wouldn't mind some time in FL right about now, even if it means hanging with mother in law! lol. Anyway, I think she's enjoying some of the freedom she's had in making her own choices, planning her own schedule and doing her own thing. She even went to a new years eve party up at the club. We sent her flowers for Valentine's Day because father in law always made that a special day for her. So, I think the big rush to move to CT has been put off for now. Even H has come around and is saying that he thinks she should stay there and as the need arises, perhaps hire someone to check in with his mom on a daily basis. I don't think she's there just yet, but it's an option worth considering. H said he spoke with his sister about that and she wasn't so sure. We all know his mother would flip out if we suggested that to her, but at some point, she may not have a choice. We will see how this plays out.
So that's the update for now. I'm sure there is more, but I forgot it. My memory comes back to me in pieces, lol. Ciao, have a great day!
So, difficult child and E went to a bridal show and of course signed up for freebies. She's been making plans and figuring stuff out and running around gathering information. They've chosen their ceremony location (outdoors in a pavilion at a state park up north of here) and the reception will be at E's parent's home - they have a nice flat, large, wooded yard, & pool. I guesstimate there will be approximately 110-120 guests for the reception. Between exh's family, mine and E's, there's the first 90 or so. Big families and everyone loves a wedding! Since I've been down for the count, difficult child has been just going at it. I asked her to please slow down and wait for me so we can sit and create a budget for everything, create a list of guests, shop for dresses, JP, rental stuff, etc. I asked her about her guest list. She said, she's only inviting family to the reception but telling anyone and everyone they are welcome to stop by the reception. WHAT??!?! I tried to explain to her how dangerous that was in terms of food, drinks, seating, and expense. OMG>could you just imagine? She'd post it on Facebook and every loser in her past would show up to drink and eat for free!
Anyway, because I'm feeling better now, we've made tentative plans to meet at Panera's with pen and paper and go over some things. She wants easy child to join us, but I am not so sure at this point if that's a wise idea. easy child will be difficult child's Maid of Honor, but difficult child never asked her - she assumed it was understood. easy child said to me, "WHAT?! When did she ask me??" when I mentioned it to her. I swear, young people just don't seem to know about protocol, tradition, ettiquette, etc. It's maddening to me, but I cannot say I was much different for my first wedding, although I did know to ask and not assume anything. Anyway, they've chosen August 2013 as their wedding month, I think the 24th, so we have some time. I understand she wants everything arranged and finalized now, but there is a time table to follow and I'm trying to help her understand and realize that. Also, she needs to delegate some things to others, namely easy child, me, H, and E's family, if she can. So wish me luck when we sit down for this meeting. The funnest part will be dress shopping. I had hoped she'd wear my wedding dress from when I married her bio-dad, as my mother made it and it's beautiful. She tried it on, liked it, but wants her own dress. She wants to wear the veil, however, which is all lace with a beautiful headpiece that my mom also made. It is white so we'll be looking for a white dress. I think we're scheduled to hit up the first bridal shop next weekend. I'm bringing my cane for that trip - something tells me I will need it. And I'm fairly certain easy child is not so into shopping with us, but I'll ask. difficult child would like easy child to be involved in some of the planning, but I can see easy child balking at that a little, so I tried to put difficult child off at least for a little while. It's not necessary at this point anyway. We're over a year away and it's an at home wedding, so we have a lot more flexibility than those who are booking halls and churches.
Now I have to really get H going on the addition - it needs to be COMPLETED by the time they are married. He's laying down the floor and so hopefully by Summer we will be upstairs in our new room, awesome. Then we can tear down walls downstairs, fun.
easy child held a very successful fundraiser last week for her May trip to Ghana. They raised about $2000 for supplies for the orphanage, which is great. However, easy child still hasn't found a sponsor for her travel expenses. We were hoping my boss/brother in law would come through with some sort of donation, but he blew her off, twice, when she asked him if he could help in any way. The airfare alone is $2000 and then there are the extraneous costs of hotel, food, etc., while she's there. Granted, it's cheap to stay there, but she would like to have a cushion in her account should any emergencies arise. I'm going to tell her to put in a request for sponsorship from our local Grange. They sometimes help with volunteer efforts like this, maybe they will come through for her. She did receive about $150 in private donations for her travel expenses, but it's not enough to really make a dent. I'm very disappointed that my brother in law didn't do anything for her. I mean, he makes A LOT of money and makes donations every year towards other charities, why not this? He said something about it not being tax deductible, whatever. I can't even list all the ways in which this man and his family (my sister) pisses away their money. easy child even made a spreadsheet for him to review and an appointment to go over it, met with him, etc., and he just didn't respond. I wish some Daddy Warbucks would come out of the woodwork and help easy child out! Being on disability for 8 weeks, I sure can't. Waaaah.
easy child is also seeing a very nice guy, Jon. He's very cute (looks a little like Ralph Macchio when he was the karate kid, lol) and very tall - he towers over her, but they make a very nice looking couple. I met his family at the fundraiser and they are very nice people. Casper was also there with his mom, but easy child was very diplomatic, lol. Anyway, I think this guy could be 'the one'....I don't know why I think that, I just do. Time will tell. She's still going to school full time, working full time and living at home.
mother in law is doing very well on her own down in FL. She seems to have taken nicely to widowhood and is keeping herself busy. She sometimes gets bored and calls all her adult kids, but for the most part, she's out and about, visiting friends, doing day trips, and staying active in her clubs. My brother in law is going down there next week for Spring break (he's a professor at Carnegie Mellon). And H is talking about going down as well, though probably not until late March, early April. He kept saying HE was going, but now he's saying WE are going. To be honest, I wouldn't mind some time in FL right about now, even if it means hanging with mother in law! lol. Anyway, I think she's enjoying some of the freedom she's had in making her own choices, planning her own schedule and doing her own thing. She even went to a new years eve party up at the club. We sent her flowers for Valentine's Day because father in law always made that a special day for her. So, I think the big rush to move to CT has been put off for now. Even H has come around and is saying that he thinks she should stay there and as the need arises, perhaps hire someone to check in with his mom on a daily basis. I don't think she's there just yet, but it's an option worth considering. H said he spoke with his sister about that and she wasn't so sure. We all know his mother would flip out if we suggested that to her, but at some point, she may not have a choice. We will see how this plays out.
So that's the update for now. I'm sure there is more, but I forgot it. My memory comes back to me in pieces, lol. Ciao, have a great day!
