General update

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Mar 31, 2011.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I apologize for not being on much and responding very much lately- I'm still thinking of a lot of people- Terry, Step, DF, Nancy, Susie, Star- just name a few of my many friends.

    I'll give a general update- I've been feeling like I must be wearing a sign that says "everyone's doormat" (not to people here but ITRW. Besides the job issue, difficult child hasn't contacted me in at least 2 weeks even though he can call now, supposedly. At first I just thought this was my "punishment" for not buying into his threat to get out of my life if he couldn't come back to live with me on his terms but now I'm not so sure. I'm very worried about him, his future, and I miss him and grieve so much over it all sometimes...sigh...

    Then I got an email from my mom saying she feels dizzy a lot. Well- you'd have to know her I guess. I responded the next day saying I hoped she felt better. She emailed back and said she didn't and she might need to ask for my help and to come down there to her. I responded that she should probably find someone there to help her because I am in no position to financially and can't take time off from this job to do that.

    I submitted a letter to upper management giving my response to boss's email, re-capping my understanding of our 1 1/2 hr long conversation where he apologized for intentionally starting the whole situation then contacting upper management to try to get me fired when I got mad about it. And I included a statement about being concerned about any management that would fire a person upon hearing a list of complaints that include 4 items without even looking into it or hearing the other person's side of the story. Today, 3 days after submitting it, I rec'd an email response from the acctg person (co owner's daughter) saying that she had printed it out and would include a copy in my personnel file. Also, she said the owner was on vacation this week but would talk with both boss and me when he returned next week. She said that hopefully, that would work thru things and get us all past this.

    I responded, thanking her and apologized for all the time and inconvenience this has cost everyone. She responded that she was glad I had brought it to everyone's attnetion. I took that opportunity to email back and say that honestly, I've heard a lot of complaints about boss and they are all similar but people are afraid to say anything because most peopl can spot that side of vindictiveness in him.

    We'll see what happens next week, I guess but at least it appears right now that someone read my letter and felt the need to address more than just automatically firing me on boss's word. In the meatime, the employee who boss had tried to get me to back me up on when he misrepresented her attitude and responses on the phone one day emailed with questions pertaining to work. We ended up chatting a little thru email then I threw out that maybe we could chat outside of work sometime. We talked on the phone about an hour last night- it was me venting and her understanding. Today we met after work and had a couple of beers and ate a little and I listened to her vent about her husband and job issues, etc. It was so nice- it seems like forever that I've had to hold everything in ITRW and deal with everything by myself without anyone ITRW understanding. This board has been all I had fior support for a very long time and I really do appreciate it. It sure was nice though to talk with someone else who knows boss though and who knows that he has a screw loose!!
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm sorry, i can't imagine what you have gone thru with your difficult child. it's beyond my ability to understand how you have coped, moved, reset up and dealt with-this wild job.

    your very strong, i hope difficult child balances out. i haven't been on much either other than to gripe so i'm not totally caught up.

    (((hugs))) by the way good job on the work situation!
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm glad you seem to be finding some in real life friends for support. That is so important.
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Good to hear you got out and made a friend (maybe two?) klmno. Hope this does help out with the job, too. Not sure what to say about difficult child.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Yay! You got out for burgers, beers and uh-hem "witching" with a friend! Good for you! You needed that!

    Way to go!

  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm glad you got a chance to do that letter for your file. I know that, even in an untenable situation, just doing something, no matter how small, can make you feel better.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    My new friend and I both think the co and/or boss individually would be breaking state law if they proceeded to fire me under the pretenses they claimed so I mainly did it for that and because if I pursue another security clearance in the future, things like this come up and if you can't show evidence that you tried to fight against a bad situation, work difficulties out, or make a statement for yourself, then you tend not to be believed by the investigators. So as much as it did give me relief, it also threw my side of things in the trail of paperwork for later use. Plus, if I hadn't have done it and the job worked out, I can only imagine how many times boss would threaten to do something like this again because he'd think I'd take anything he dishes out, be his puppet on a string/whipping girl, and never defend myself.

    The client gave everyone 1 hour off work early today so that's why I'm home now. I'll be out of town again next week. Hopefully I can finally catch up on sleep because I usually end up going to bed early there and wake up during the night stressed out less often.