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Substance Abuse
Gentle push or swift kick!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 627115" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>4 - I understand the sadness and hurt you feel for your son. I often feel that for my son too...it hurts that he has lost so many chances and feels so badly about himself. It makes me so sad to think about the things that could have been.... and when I do that I have to stop myself and remember what counts is from here on out not the past.</p><p></p><p>And yes your son may be angry with you, may hate you fro a while, may not communicate much and that hurts too. I have also been through periods like that with my son. My stand has always been I love you no matter what, I do. And it is also I will help you when you are doing the next right thing, but I will not help you or enable you to keep doing drugs or the next wrong thing.</p><p></p><p>Over time my son has gotten that message and I think he knows now that we truly love him and are there for him although we have made some very tough choices, including letting him be homeless across the country for several months!!</p><p></p><p>So recently he was kicked out of his latest program he was in for 6 monhts (wrong thing) but he was not kicked out for using and has not used (right thing) and he voluntarily went to court (right thing). He called and asked me to meet him at court so that he would have someone in his corner! Now given his history it was huge that he was going to court on his own (after a lot of support from people where he was at) and that he did not run for it. </p><p></p><p>So given that he was doing the next right things I went to court with him and even spoke to the judge (who asked me to say something). I spoke about supporting him to do the right things.</p><p></p><p>All this is to say be true to yourself, let yourself love your son and support him to do the right things, but set boundaries so you dont enable him to do the wrong things. And he may be angry and hate you for awhile but if you stay clear in your love for him I think he will get that eventually. What he feels now is not forever.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 627115, member: 15801"] 4 - I understand the sadness and hurt you feel for your son. I often feel that for my son too...it hurts that he has lost so many chances and feels so badly about himself. It makes me so sad to think about the things that could have been.... and when I do that I have to stop myself and remember what counts is from here on out not the past. And yes your son may be angry with you, may hate you fro a while, may not communicate much and that hurts too. I have also been through periods like that with my son. My stand has always been I love you no matter what, I do. And it is also I will help you when you are doing the next right thing, but I will not help you or enable you to keep doing drugs or the next wrong thing. Over time my son has gotten that message and I think he knows now that we truly love him and are there for him although we have made some very tough choices, including letting him be homeless across the country for several months!! So recently he was kicked out of his latest program he was in for 6 monhts (wrong thing) but he was not kicked out for using and has not used (right thing) and he voluntarily went to court (right thing). He called and asked me to meet him at court so that he would have someone in his corner! Now given his history it was huge that he was going to court on his own (after a lot of support from people where he was at) and that he did not run for it. So given that he was doing the next right things I went to court with him and even spoke to the judge (who asked me to say something). I spoke about supporting him to do the right things. All this is to say be true to yourself, let yourself love your son and support him to do the right things, but set boundaries so you dont enable him to do the wrong things. And he may be angry and hate you for awhile but if you stay clear in your love for him I think he will get that eventually. What he feels now is not forever. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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