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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639161" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oops...one last thing.</p><p></p><p>"Hey, have you been arrested lately" would make me furious at the person who said it, not the person it is directed at. I would not allow that kind of smack talk at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. THAT is the person who would have to leave, not my son. To be fair, this has never happened to me and I am only thinking what I'd do. I think it is wrong to bring up things like this, trying to bait their brother, during a holiday such as Thanksgiving. The person who would say this is the one being very unkind and baiting him. I am not a fan of bullying. I don't blame your son for defending himself. I would have defended myself if anyone said that to me. In fact, if this were the rule, I'd have stopped attending family get togethers.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I was the black sheep and it socked and nobody stood up for me. If this is a holiday for Mr. 17, no wonder he doesn't like it and expect him to stop coming when he is older. I can relate to him in this. Why should he come just to be criticized by his family? I was not the type to start a fight, but if somebody had said that to me, I would have stood up in tears and left the table and nobody could have talked me into coming back. I may even have yelled, "I hate you all" first. I never did have a close, warm relationship with my family because this is what I put up with over and over again and finally I decided life was better without them. I never forgot how my mom seemed to allow it. Not saying this is you or it will happen to you. Just relaying my story. I am since very anti-bully.</p><p></p><p>This story is not to tell you what to do. It is to only share my own experience or bad memories with my own family and how it affected ME and only ME. It is just food for thought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639161, member: 1550"] Oops...one last thing. "Hey, have you been arrested lately" would make me furious at the person who said it, not the person it is directed at. I would not allow that kind of smack talk at the dinner table for Thanksgiving. THAT is the person who would have to leave, not my son. To be fair, this has never happened to me and I am only thinking what I'd do. I think it is wrong to bring up things like this, trying to bait their brother, during a holiday such as Thanksgiving. The person who would say this is the one being very unkind and baiting him. I am not a fan of bullying. I don't blame your son for defending himself. I would have defended myself if anyone said that to me. In fact, if this were the rule, I'd have stopped attending family get togethers. Yes, I was the black sheep and it socked and nobody stood up for me. If this is a holiday for Mr. 17, no wonder he doesn't like it and expect him to stop coming when he is older. I can relate to him in this. Why should he come just to be criticized by his family? I was not the type to start a fight, but if somebody had said that to me, I would have stood up in tears and left the table and nobody could have talked me into coming back. I may even have yelled, "I hate you all" first. I never did have a close, warm relationship with my family because this is what I put up with over and over again and finally I decided life was better without them. I never forgot how my mom seemed to allow it. Not saying this is you or it will happen to you. Just relaying my story. I am since very anti-bully. This story is not to tell you what to do. It is to only share my own experience or bad memories with my own family and how it affected ME and only ME. It is just food for thought. [/QUOTE]
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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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