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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 639163" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>Orgami, I have to say,what they are doing is very rude, provoking and uncalled for. It's not funny and certainly not something that should be brought up at thanksgiving. Shame on the other family members who do that. It says a lot about them. That is not your difficult child fault, and in my opinion, he should stand up for himself. You also say if someone says something like that to him, that he should just go to his room. Why should he be punished? If anything, you should stand up for him in that particular situation if anything.</p><p></p><p>Orgami, and of course I say all that in a loving way. I am by no means trying to come down hard on you, I am just simply stating it as fact, nothing more or nothing less. I know all of the problems you been having with him lately</p><p></p><p>Also, there is nothing wrong with him disappearing or going into his room. I use to do that too because there was nobody at my family gatherings that I could really relate to. I was the oldest, by quite of few years, then my younger brother and all of my cousins and there was really no one to talk to. I did socialize though, talked to everybody, but after a while, I would just go do my own thing. It's certainly not something you should be embarrassed about or let ruin your holiday.</p><p></p><p>Again, I say all of this with love and really hope it didn't sound harsh because I don't mean it to be at all. I know all of the problems you are going through and how overwhelmed you must be. I know he is no innocent angel, and he's been really bad, but he still has some rights like we all do and sometimes we need to be reminded of that. No one deserves having their mistakes, especially something as serious as getting arrested being thrown up in their face, especially as a joke. I'm sure they wouldn't like it either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 639163, member: 18233"] Orgami, I have to say,what they are doing is very rude, provoking and uncalled for. It's not funny and certainly not something that should be brought up at thanksgiving. Shame on the other family members who do that. It says a lot about them. That is not your difficult child fault, and in my opinion, he should stand up for himself. You also say if someone says something like that to him, that he should just go to his room. Why should he be punished? If anything, you should stand up for him in that particular situation if anything. Orgami, and of course I say all that in a loving way. I am by no means trying to come down hard on you, I am just simply stating it as fact, nothing more or nothing less. I know all of the problems you been having with him lately Also, there is nothing wrong with him disappearing or going into his room. I use to do that too because there was nobody at my family gatherings that I could really relate to. I was the oldest, by quite of few years, then my younger brother and all of my cousins and there was really no one to talk to. I did socialize though, talked to everybody, but after a while, I would just go do my own thing. It's certainly not something you should be embarrassed about or let ruin your holiday. Again, I say all of this with love and really hope it didn't sound harsh because I don't mean it to be at all. I know all of the problems you are going through and how overwhelmed you must be. I know he is no innocent angel, and he's been really bad, but he still has some rights like we all do and sometimes we need to be reminded of that. No one deserves having their mistakes, especially something as serious as getting arrested being thrown up in their face, especially as a joke. I'm sure they wouldn't like it either. [/QUOTE]
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Getting nervous about Thanksgiving--how to enforce boundaries?
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