getting ready to go now..

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I have a few jobs I need to wrap up before my shift ends. So I must log off shortly.

    thank you to all. the past seven days have been a whirlwind. I was given some much needed support.

    I am scared to death to go tonight. Shaking, sick...terrified.

    Don't know what will happen before - or after. I didn't sleep in a long time, but I will logon as soon as i get a chance.

    I'll be thinking of all your strength sent to me while I am on my way, and while I am there..well, every minute.

    thank you
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh sweetie, you are doing the right thing.
    You are strong and do not forget this.
    Do not forget this.
    You can get through, you will get through.
    You are beautiful
    You are wonderful
    You do deserve so much out of this life
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    You have a lot of courage and you are going to be o.k. Speak your truth and don't let anyone deny it. Remember how angry you felt? Hold onto that. Don't forget the violation you felt. Your gut is telling you he crossed a major boundary and you are COMPLETELY justified in how you feel. They are YOUR feelings. husband has problems. They won't be solved today. But at least you will have a safe place to get things out in the open and the elephant in the room can finally be discussed.

    We'll be with you all the way!

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Kjs -

    Just picture us standing behind you (like those Verizon wireless commercials) and when you feel weak, and like falling back? Know we'll be there in spirit to support you.

    This is the first day of the rest of your life that YOU get to be in charge of.
  5. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I am so afraid. Where do you go when you are afraid to go home? Cause I am afraid to go home right now from work. And nobody is there yet.

    And tonight, I have to ask husband for his phone because those 129 porn flicks are saved on his phone. I want his phone and I am going to delete them. Then if he does it again I will suspend his service.

    Star - Verizon people...Verizon is my phone carrier. They won't let me block video to his phone. He has a new phone and they cannot set up filters on it as they can the other two. If I block for one, I have to block for all. doesn't seem fair if Ryan (easy child) uses his browser to check sports scores and such. Alex, he only uses AOL on his phone. Why should both of the boys lose that because of husband?
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Good luck!
    We'll be here.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) I am with you in spirit. Think of what you'd say if you were in there telling about this happening to your best friend or a loved one- you owe as much to yourself.
  8. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Whatever happens, tonight, know that things just simply cannot continue down the same path. Sending lots of strength. You deserve better.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Stay strong, Kj! You deserve much better. Lots of hugs.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    GO anywhere else if you are afraid. Go to a woman's shelter, go to a motel. If you are seriously afraid, a few nights at a motel is worth your sanity or your life.
    Maybe go to a woman's shelter and ask, tell them you are afraid, what can you do?
    You have nowhere to go. You are in transition.
    Better yet, tell him to get out. I am usually not a harsh person like this. But reading what you have gone through.
    You just deserve to be treated so much better. No-one should live like you have.
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Kjs, good luck. I hope it all went well for you.

    To hold on - remember your fear and your anger and use it constructively, to give you impetus. You shouldn't be feeling afraid or angry, you did nothing to cause it. You have a right to feel safe, to feel protected and to feel loved. Even if you are the only one providing that love, protection and safety - nobody else should take that away from you.

    This is not aa problem of your making, no matter what anyone might say.

    And if you have to cancel video access to the phone service for a while - so be it. Apologise to the boys but explain that while they did nothing wrong, their father did and until you can get your hands on his phone, ALL the phones on the account have to be limited.

    But only do this if he won't hand over his phone. You could even use this as leverage - how does he think the boys will feel about him, if you are forced to that extent? Because there is no way YOU should have to wear any of the blame for needing to do this. By giving him a chance to do the honourable thing and hand over the phone, then you are giving him the chance to save face wirth the boys. You COULD have gone straight to the boys and told them.

    Hang in there. If you're angry, use it to say your piece and to block any negative thoughts being attached to you.

  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You can do it. You're stronger than you think. You deserve tons better, we know it, you know it. Sending good strong vibes, and saying a prayer for you.