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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 626376" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I agree with the thoughts and techniques Recovering, Echo, and District shared. What I would add is that when I am taken down to the level you are now, it helps me to get to the rage and frustration beneath the fear. Crazy as it sounds, I do this, and it works: Pound on a pillow until you feel the emotions, until the tears start. (It won't take long.) Scream into the pillow, pound on it, roar and rage into it. No holds barred. </p><p></p><p>Then, you can see what it is you are dealing with, internally. Once it's out in the open, you can make sense of it.</p><p></p><p>You are (we are all) strong enough to do what we need to do, both to help our kids and to help ourselves. What we need is a safe, immediate place to vent those emotions that are confusing and weakening us. It is best to provide this outlet for ourselves. No sense having all those emotions simmering away and breaking through at some other, probably public and extremely inappropriate, time.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry this is happening to your son. I agree with District about how and why this happened. You did the right thing in calling your child's worker. The people working in the facility where he is are aware of the natures of those in their care. It should never happen that basic necessities are withheld because one of the clients is bullying another.</p><p></p><p>The facility is remiss.</p><p></p><p>That is not the lesson your son is there to learn.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you to speak with a counselor or with whoever is in charge in this facility?</p><p></p><p>There must be someone.</p><p></p><p>Find that person and determine the truth in your son's accusations yourself.</p><p></p><p>Wherever he is, he is not there to learn that bullying is appropriate. He is there to learn a better way to function in the outside world.</p><p></p><p>It could be that your son is targeting your vulnerabilities to hurt you. I am sorry to say so, but this happens to me with difficult child daughter. Recovering pointed out to me that my child seems to want to hurt me by telling me, in every gory detail, about the hurtful things that happen to her.</p><p></p><p>I realized Recovering was correct in her interpretation of the dynamic between my daughter and myself. This same kind of thing may be happening between you and your son.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry, pasajes.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to post about what is happening with me as I go through whatever painful thing is happening with my child. We are here for you. We have been where you are. It is a dark and hurtful place. You will come through this time, pasajes.</p><p></p><p>Holding you and your son in my thoughts, this morning.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 626376, member: 17461"] I agree with the thoughts and techniques Recovering, Echo, and District shared. What I would add is that when I am taken down to the level you are now, it helps me to get to the rage and frustration beneath the fear. Crazy as it sounds, I do this, and it works: Pound on a pillow until you feel the emotions, until the tears start. (It won't take long.) Scream into the pillow, pound on it, roar and rage into it. No holds barred. Then, you can see what it is you are dealing with, internally. Once it's out in the open, you can make sense of it. You are (we are all) strong enough to do what we need to do, both to help our kids and to help ourselves. What we need is a safe, immediate place to vent those emotions that are confusing and weakening us. It is best to provide this outlet for ourselves. No sense having all those emotions simmering away and breaking through at some other, probably public and extremely inappropriate, time. I am so sorry this is happening to your son. I agree with District about how and why this happened. You did the right thing in calling your child's worker. The people working in the facility where he is are aware of the natures of those in their care. It should never happen that basic necessities are withheld because one of the clients is bullying another. The facility is remiss. That is not the lesson your son is there to learn. Is it possible for you to speak with a counselor or with whoever is in charge in this facility? There must be someone. Find that person and determine the truth in your son's accusations yourself. Wherever he is, he is not there to learn that bullying is appropriate. He is there to learn a better way to function in the outside world. It could be that your son is targeting your vulnerabilities to hurt you. I am sorry to say so, but this happens to me with difficult child daughter. Recovering pointed out to me that my child seems to want to hurt me by telling me, in every gory detail, about the hurtful things that happen to her. I realized Recovering was correct in her interpretation of the dynamic between my daughter and myself. This same kind of thing may be happening between you and your son. I am so sorry, pasajes. It helps me to post about what is happening with me as I go through whatever painful thing is happening with my child. We are here for you. We have been where you are. It is a dark and hurtful place. You will come through this time, pasajes. Holding you and your son in my thoughts, this morning. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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