Getting tired of all the nitpicking...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Both the difficult children have been so nitpicky lately and so much more intolerant of each other. difficult child 1 has always had certain things that bother him.....difficult child 2's feet on the couch, the smell of hand sanitizer, the loud volume of difficult child 2's voice, etc. difficult child 2 has usually accommodated them without a problem. The last month or two, he totally ignores difficult child 1's pleas about these same issues and at times insults difficult child 1 and pushing his buttons. Now they BOTH have "issues" with each other's habits and NEITHER is willing to respect the other's wishes. It's so bad that I have implemented a RULE that unless I am in the same room WITH them, they are not allowed to be in the same room. Both of them see the other's actions as 100% intentional and neither will keep their opinions to themselves and neither will see that there is another point of view than their own. When I try to explain things to them, they get mad at ME. It is sooooo frustrating. difficult child 2's therapist says his stuff is typical teen and didn't see any point in seeing him anymore because he wasn't talking about anything. He even commented to her, when I was in the room, that it is more like therapy for me than for him. If it really is typical teen, he's doing a great job of acting like difficult child 1 ALL THE TIME with stomping temper tantrums thrown in for good measure.

    This week is Spring break so they aren't even in the home much at the same time and the huge breaks from each other don't seem to be helping AT ALL. The minute they walk in the house they are at each other. I'm going to go absolutely bonkers.

    Thanks for letting me vent. As always, advice is always welcome. If there isn't any, just knowing there's support here helps a TON!!
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hair pulling time!!! Ok, I feel better, your turn.

    Yeah, that can't be fun at all. I just think God played a really mean joke on you to give you twin difficult child boys who are such can't catch a break at all! one is ok, the other falls apart.... they have opposite issues that grate on each other, just so not fair!!!!

    Hmmm, maybe sleep over camp in SD for one and Iowa for another???LOL
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If only it were THAT easy. It almost seems like the more they are apart the more intolerant of each other they get. BUT, being together more also has that effect, usually. I just can't catch a break. difficult child 2 NEVER had these issues before and now he does. I used to be able to talk to him and he'd listen, understand, and turn it around. Now, not AT ALL!!!
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Are you thinking maybe home schooling is going to be too much next year? At least for difficult child 1 if you can get a break from it??? so tiring.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Do you think that this could be a difficult child trait? My difficult child does this ALL the time and Im with you when you say that it's frustrating. difficult child will say something like your difficult children do (he's doing that on purpose!) and I'll tell him that if that's his opinion, that's fine, but I don't see it the same way that he does. difficult child says that it's not an opinion, it's a FACT, and if I don't see it his way then I'm taking easy child's side.

    I wish I had an answer for you. Just wanted to say that I know what you're going through. At least your spring break is half over. Ours just starts tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to that. NOT!!
  6. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    This sounds so familiar that I if I shut my eyes, I can picture difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 going at it full force. Unfortunately, they used to resort to physical violence, hitting, biting, spitting on each other. It was hard enough to deal with when husband was around, but when he wasn't, well, this is your thread, I won't go into the details right now. Although I don't have any good advice, besides sending each one to the opposite ends of the earth, just want to let you know, I think I understand a bit about how you're feeling.

    Keeping my fingers crossed today is a better day... Hugs... SFR
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    They are both on the spectrum so yes, I believe it is but difficult child 2 has never been like this before and difficult child 1 has never been this bac before. Bunny THAT is exactly what I tell them and that is exactly difficult child 1's response. He can't distinguish HIS fact from everyone else's.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Buddy, the school thing is going okay. It's when they are apart for a period of time (difficult child 2 working and/or difficult child 1 playing with friends) and then coming home that is the issue. Once they are apart, they can't be together.

    SFR, things have gotten so bad with difficult child 2 instigating lately that difficult child 1 is resorting to open threats of physical aggression but so far (*crossing body parts*) he hasn't carried any of them out and I've been there to prevent it.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    They are HOW old? like... early teen, I'm guessing?
    In which case... you have the usual scenario... typical teen stuff made more intense by other conditions...