Gfgbro is Delusional Again

[susiestar]

My gfgbro called the house this morning and also left a message on husband's cell phone.

He has spoken with Niece and has decided to take us all out for dinner.

WTH is he expecting? This is the second Christmas since we decided to not speak to him or see him, not ever. He has traumatized husband, all three of my kids, and myself for a very long time. Other than the drama with my mom over this, this has been the most peaceful, healing time for us. We NEEDED to have him out of our lives, and we intend to not allow him in now.

Gfgbro hates to eat out. Flat out refuses much of the time. he rants about the prices any time you do end up in a restaurant with him, because they charge 4 times what the food costs in the grocery. He has done this since his teens. Including ranting through family reunions,rehearsal dinners for weddings, and other special events. I am supposed o go to a restaurant expecting him to actually PAY for my entire family? After all this time?

I guess in his world I have apologized for being so wrong as to object to him abusing my husband, my chilren and myself over and over and over for way too long. I have asked forgiveness for not automatically forgetting all that he has done that is not good and wonderful, and I have begged to have him n our lives.

Of course that has NOT happened in reality, but he has his own version of reality where facts rarely get in the way.

I wonder what he has done that my mother will soon find out about. Or what "if only" my father has called his bluff on. My dad has used times my mom is out of town to challenge bro to fulfill the things that would be better if he could only have/do/make/whatever.

I am sure that since Niece has decided this is a good thing, then it is something that I will immediately fall in line with - in gfgbro's world anyway.

We are keeping all doors locked at all times, and the children will NOT be answering the phone with-o checking caller ID. At this point I do not intend to respond to him in any way. I am sure it is partly to continue the "Woe is me, she holds grudges for so long, how can she break up the family this way and betray me this way" and partly to mask whatever it is that he has done that will anger/upset my mother, and partly to try to reassure himself that he has support if his ex's new husband turns out to be a bad or dangerous person. Exsil got engaged to a man she only knew for 4 days. She picks awful men to marry or be involved with.

This is scary for me. I don't know what he will do next, and I hate and fear being his target and/ or having my kids and husband be his target.

 

[trinityroyal]

Susie, it might be that it's just sinking in for gfgbro that he's no longer able to control you the way he once was.

Did you ever get a restraining order on him or follow up with other legal channels? If so, it might be time to call the authorities. If not, it might be time to get something like that in place. You've already told him clearly that he is not to communicate with you or your family ever again. He's done so, and left tangible evidence. Make sure you save the messages. Even if the police don't or can't do anything at the moment, it gets things in the system and starts the paper trail.

I'm sorry that he continues to torment you and your family. Take whatever steps you need to keep your family and yourself safe.

There must be something in the air. I had a phone call from my difficult child-mother just before Christmas, demanding that we reconcile.

Sending many gentle hugs.
Trinity

 

[buddy]

So very strange, gosh Im sorry he is bugging you. I hope it was a drunk dial or something he will just forget ...

 

[Hound dog]

If he calls, don't answer. If he shows up immediately call the police. No joke. I don't care if he's being uber polite, call the police.

Pulling you into the drama that is his life is how he's deflected from his own mental instability for far too long. He's attempting to do so once again. Could be he's done something huge or whatever, could be the ex getting a new husband.........most likely the first one I'd venture due to the way your parents have been acting.

Could also be that your refusal to play his games and thereby take your proper role in his delusional logic is shaking up his world. This is probably also likely. He figured you'd have given in by this time.

I'm gonna look and see if there is a full moon tonight or something. Katie is not answering her phone or texts and hasn't for several days. Hoping it's nothing more than either her cell is dead or she needs minutes. But one just never knows. *sigh*

Keep your focus on your family's safety and let gfgbro mess up his own life. Maybe it will force him into treatment.

((hugs))

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, no.
And the premise is so disarmingly normal.
Take care.

 

[hearts and roses]

Sending all the protective juju I can muster!!!! Take care and beware-its not a great way to live day to day but hopefully after a while he will go away. Hugs.

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh no. I would change your husband's cell number. You dont need the drama.

 

[DaisyFace]

Sheesh!

Is it really that GFGbro is delusional AGAIN? or is it rather that he is delusional STILL ?

I agree with everyone - STAY AWAY! Don't answer the phone and take whatever precautions you must to stay away and stay SAFE!

 

[susiestar]

Thanks all. We will NOT be answering his calls. If he shows up, he will be told to leave or we will call the police. I hate having to do this as he will have niece with him, but that is HIS choice for HIS child, not my choice for my children. He will not push it if we call the cops. He knows that he was truly lucky that he got his felonies expunged some years ago after completing quite a few yrs of probation and rehab. He wants full custody, esp as his ex is remarrying. So any brushes with the cops will not help that.

I am sure he is still delusional, and is trying this to see if I can just somehow forget and allow him to victimize us all over again. After all, family is forever and family cannot cut ties. At least in his world. Of course in his world he has nothing to apologize for, or to make amends for, and saying "I'm sorry" on the rare occasions he does is supposed to create instant amnesia but wrongs that he perceives are held against you forever.

This is why we will NOT interact iwth him. I am sure it will again upset my mother and father, but that is their issue, not mine.

I find it sad that no one but me has ever even hinted to him that he needs treatment for mental illness. Not just adhd treatment, real treatment for his problems. AA doesn't fix mental illness, it just helps you be sober in your mentally ill state. He used to see a psychiatrist here, and I know she diagnosis'd more than just adhd. I know because she was my psychiatrist first and she asked me to see another psychiatrist because she knew bro would just not get any treatment and she was willing to do what she could and let hm pay her with tree trimming, firewood and other things. I agreed but I know that when she even hinted that their might be other things going on with him, he freaked and thought the govt was trying to get his records to do something or to make him do soemthing or to take custody of his child away from him. Paranoia anyone?

It greatly saddens me to have this happen again. It also infuriates me. I was finally making some progress with the panic attacks that the thought of going to my parents brings on, and now? More reason for them. That is what prozac is for, I guess.