My gfgbro called the house this morning and also left a message on husband's cell phone. He has spoken with Niece and has decided to take us all out for dinner. WTH is he expecting? This is the second Christmas since we decided to not speak to him or see him, not ever. He has traumatized husband, all three of my kids, and myself for a very long time. Other than the drama with my mom over this, this has been the most peaceful, healing time for us. We NEEDED to have him out of our lives, and we intend to not allow him in now. Gfgbro hates to eat out. Flat out refuses much of the time. he rants about the prices any time you do end up in a restaurant with him, because they charge 4 times what the food costs in the grocery. He has done this since his teens. Including ranting through family reunions,rehearsal dinners for weddings, and other special events. I am supposed o go to a restaurant expecting him to actually PAY for my entire family? After all this time? I guess in his world I have apologized for being so wrong as to object to him abusing my husband, my chilren and myself over and over and over for way too long. I have asked forgiveness for not automatically forgetting all that he has done that is not good and wonderful, and I have begged to have him n our lives. Of course that has NOT happened in reality, but he has his own version of reality where facts rarely get in the way. I wonder what he has done that my mother will soon find out about. Or what "if only" my father has called his bluff on. My dad has used times my mom is out of town to challenge bro to fulfill the things that would be better if he could only have/do/make/whatever. I am sure that since Niece has decided this is a good thing, then it is something that I will immediately fall in line with - in gfgbro's world anyway. We are keeping all doors locked at all times, and the children will NOT be answering the phone with-o checking caller ID. At this point I do not intend to respond to him in any way. I am sure it is partly to continue the "Woe is me, she holds grudges for so long, how can she break up the family this way and betray me this way" and partly to mask whatever it is that he has done that will anger/upset my mother, and partly to try to reassure himself that he has support if his ex's new husband turns out to be a bad or dangerous person. Exsil got engaged to a man she only knew for 4 days. She picks awful men to marry or be involved with. This is scary for me. I don't know what he will do next, and I hate and fear being his target and/ or having my kids and husband be his target.