GFH in custody

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
The day will also come when you stop blaming your son's girlfriend for his problems and realize that he is choosing to be with her, allowing himself to get into trouble (she can't make him do anything unless she holds a loaded fun to his head) and is the problem apart from this girl. But that's another hard one. Until 35 started his appalling behavior while going through his custody battle, I told myself, "I'm so glad he's all better!" I had forgotten or buried all the memories of what he had done to all of us.

Detachment is different for everyone. I still do talk to my son. It's never pleasant or satisfactory, like it is with my other kids, but I know he has nobody but me. It's not just me who sees him as unpleasant. By his own admission, he was always mean to any friends he had so they are no longer in contact. He has tried dating, but so many things trigger him, especially now with the custody battle, that he can't keep any woman coming back and I hope none ever do. For their sakes. And he has four siblings and not one who wants anything to do with him. So I keep in touch, but only so far as I can handle it. And when the phone call is over, I try not to think about it anymore.

Dancerat, I was always there for my kids too. They were my reason for getting up in the morning and I was a stay at home mom so my house was the place for all kids to hang out. It is going to be very hard for me when Jumper goes to college next year and Sonic gets his own place. We are thinking of doing foster care, which we had done once. So I never had an easy time with admitting to myself what 35 was like and he always had the best of everything and tons and tons of love and attention. He never spent one day in day care. I was home after school with the cookies. If he hurt, I cried with him. We also adopted a child from Hong Kong. He was six when he came and he got the same level of over parental involvement. You know what? Those two kids were the ones who actually are the biggest long term problems. My other kids, who had to share me more, are much nicer, more caring and certainly far more mentally healthy. This includes my son who has a form of autism. He is MUCH happier than 35. In fact, he is a lovebug who constantly exceeds everyone's expectations of him and does not wallow in self-pity, like 35 does.
 
Top