MWM - You are right on about everything you said. It could very well be a giant ploy for $. I don't know. The "I'm drunk" thing in the middle of the night after we had a reasonably good visit is a last straw for me. What kind of son worries his mom at midnight as to his safety and whereabouts? I worried whether he might be driving or how he is getting alcohol underage, i.e. who he is with, not to mention what else he might be dangerously mixing with the alcohol. He was jailed only 9 weeks ago for the alcohol charges.
JT does have a very good job, which he has held for the past six months, amazingly. We figure he is holding it to prove something because he knows we were concerned whether or not he would be able to do so, given his inability to cooperate or take direction from superiors. No doubt, this won't last long, though, as JT is progressing with substance abuse.
He wanted to bring his girlfriend/fiancee and her 2yo daughter to visit this Friday, but I have cancelled that, stating that I can't see him this Friday. This was my first message to him after the "I'm drunk" text, so hopefully he gets the reason why. Why should I put myself through the constant pain of watching him spiral downward into addiction? I am SICK and TIRED of this! No way am i going to get suckered into giving him money or support in any way unless/until our relationship is much better.
And hey, we all know you can't fix stupid.
My husband LOVES this quote of yours! Definitely true! And, this will most likely blow over in short order, as most things do with JT.
SOC - No, there is no pregnancy - YET, anyway.
Layne - I have read your words multiple times, and they really help. You are right. It is a terrible idea to entertain his engagement thing in any way. I see that more clearly now. The background on this is that JT has a long history of defying ANYTHING we have ever wanted for him. If we share with him that we are displeased with something, he is that much more likely to go ahead and do it anyway, which is his choice, I know. In my detachment from him, I am trying very hard not to give advice or even let him rattle me with his constant drama. SO, I was trying to avoid engaging in any sort of argument. I wanted to let him make his own choices and suffer the related consequences without giving him the jollies he gets out of upsetting me and drawing me into it. BUT, in this case, if he has the complete nerve to even ask me for money for his wedding or guilt me in any way, I believe that is the time to voice exactly what MWM stated. NO MORE GAMES!