God only gives us what we can handle

[crazymama30]

This was stated in thread lately, and it made me think. I believe he gives us a little more than we can handle, so we can learn and grow. Then he keeps giving us a little more and more but all in little pieces. This just made me think about life in general, not just about difficult child and that is nice. I get tired of thinking about difficult child stuff all them time, reading books and articles. It gets old.

 

[Fran]

crazymama, I have heard that over and over. I disagree with it. I think everyone gets challenges in life. One can rise to the occasion and meet the challenge or one can put their head in the sand or become a victim.

I don't think any of us were given special skills over anyone else. We are normal people doing extraordinary things. In the end, we learn a lot and we learn even more about ourselves.

I resent when people make me feel like I am "a saint" for having a difficult child. It sets me up to be something I'm not. I fail, I hate, I cry just like everyone else but I am my child's advocate and mother. I will do it to the best of my ability.

Either way it is a nice thing that people infer about the job we are doing.

 

[Star*]

Without making this a bible lesson look up in a NIV bible 1Corinthians 10:13

A lot of people think that verse means - you'll never be given more than you can handle. And actually it has been taken out of context so much over the years that the shortened watered down version came to be - You'll never get more than you can handle. There is a greater meaning to that verse and the non-watered down version would tell you basically what Fran did.

I like how Fran put it. - but I digress - I'm anything BUT ordinary (snort)

And YES it DOES get old - I said recently if I had a vacation I wouldn't need to go anywhere - If I could sit in my yard on a comfy chair and not hear the words, disobey, conduct, therapy, doctor, medications, etc.....court, Public Defender, probation, caseworker....yeah - happy camper.

And also consider when you are trying to disect this verse that we are all given free will, and God won't interfere with that. Free will is choice.

 

[Hound dog]

I much prefer :

This too shall pass.

Because it does, sooner or later. And often just knowing that it will is enough to keep you going when you're ready to give up and quit.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

On the heels of Star's post, the REAL saying is:

"There is nothing that LIFE will give you that you cannot handle, with God's help".

 

[Nomad]

Good grief...somehow I seem to agree with all of the comments here...as strange as that may seem. I think for the most part, God gives us what we can handle, but at times extra challenges are presented. Some say they are like "tests..." I don't know. I think everyone has challenges. I also think it is up to us to figure out how we are going to cope with the challenges. Sometimes, we have the skills within us to meet them on our own and sometimes we have to get assistance. All of this boils down to choice. The decision to face the challenges in the first place and the decision to figure out how and whether or not we need help and then further...where we might get that help if needed, etc. Along with that, I think that we don't walk this path alone and can receive spiritual guidance, care and strength if we chose to look and accept it.

 

[Nomad]

Oned more thing...
Star...I struggle a tiny bit with the Free Will thing. I do wonder at times how much true Free Will some of our difficult children have when they often have horrible struggles with impulse control. I still think they have Free Will, but it appears to be "less so" or "altered" or "harder" and it is troubling to me that there is an unbalance (for lack of a better word) here. There is still right and wrong. Still appropriate and inappropriate behavior. I think choice is still involved, in that when all people behave inappropriately...we still have the option to learn from the experience. We always can chose to get help as well. It might be compared to those with diabetes, who have to maintain a certain diet. They have extra work involved to keep good health. This is unfair...but it is what it is. Those with mental illness have to put in the extra work mentally (and perhaps in other ways) to get good results. Can someone with mental illness "handle" this burden day in and day out? Is it free will or lack of free will when they struggle? They are still accountable, but is the margin for error slightly different? I guess these are the questions that are often on my mind....any thoughts?

 

[KTMom91]

I read the posts, and then had to go and think about it for a little bit. I think we are given what we are given to make us grow, and once we have accepted this challenge, it is our responsibility to help others to grow. This is where the free will comes into play. We can choose not to accept the challenge and the responsibilities that go along with it, but then our lives may not be as rich and fulfilling as God would like them to be.

Although my life would certainly be easier if I did not have a difficult child, or a damaged knee, assorted family problems, money worries, etc., I don't know that easier would be better. The more we experience, the better equipped we are to understand, empathize, and offer help.

I'm reminded of a childrens' ministry seminar I attended last year. It seemed to me that many of the women there felt that their ministry opportunities began and ended Sunday mornings, and I disagree with that. As a substitute teacher, I don't know the family situations of these kids, but I know that I may be the first smiling adult face they've seen that day. The prize pencil I hand out may be the first thing they've been awarded that month. The applause I give them for a job well done may be the first positive thing they've heard that year. If my life had been easier, I might not be able to applaud the little things, because I wouldn't understand how much they can mean.

And our difficult children? Hopefully they will be able to use the gifts they have been given, and become the very best they can be, whatever that best may be.

 

[hearts and roses]

I believe more in the "it is what it is" way of thinking. You know, not all of us get only what we can handle. I know lots of people (some on this board, for instance) who get way more than their fair share (whatever that means) and I know some people who have had to be hospitalized due to the stressors in their lives....so what does that mean? God only gives what we can handle? To what degree are we handling what??

I asked my mom, "Mom, do you believe that God only gives us what we can handle?" and she said, "I have always believed that. I think that once we ACCEPT a situation that has presented itself, then we're handling it...so we can handle more."

Wow, from my mom who has dementia. I can't help but agree with her - it is what it is. Acceptance. The Serenity Prayer...accept the things we cannot change and change the things we can...some of you know it better than me, but the meaning is certainly not lost.

 

[amazeofgrace]

Parents of difficult child's are platter people, are plates are past being too full, so we've upgraded to platters!