Going to be a hellish few days...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by greenrene, Mar 2, 2013.

  1. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    difficult child knows she's going to the TBS soon, but not exactly when - she was snooping on my mother in law's phone last night and found our texts about packing. We were going to tell her everything this afternoon because there's a mandatory school event this morning, and we wanted to avoid drama with her there. So she knows it's soon, just not HOW soon.

    Based on her reaction last night, I'm fearful for these next few days until she leaves. Last night she was very upset, going OFF about how awful and uncaring her family is, threatening to do whatever it takes to get kicked out of the school, etc. She is probably really going to freak out when she learns she's leaving first thing Tuesday morning.

    I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but these next few days are, I predict, going to be absolute hell.

    CPS visited my home the other day to talk to husband and difficult child, but I had to be gone to pick up my son from an activity. CPS worker said that she does have to make another visit to meet me and the boys and make sure everything is kosher. I am SO ****** that my boys have to have anything to do with this. Apparently along with the accusation of abuse from 10 years ago, she also made a threat against my sister in law (her aunt whom she'd been living with for the past 5 weeks), and that also was a CPS trigger.

    My sister in law is coming back home from being out of town tomorrow, and we're planning to get together next week to talk about difficult child's time at her house. She didn't share a lot with me while difficult child was there, but she did say that some of her behavior was horrible, and that there were some very disturbing things difficult child did that she is unsure if they were just for show or not. My curiosity is piqued as to what these disturbing things are.

    So anyway, keep us in your thoughts through the next few days. I admit I'm somewhat afraid of how difficult child is going to behave once she finds out that Tuesday is The Day.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    Wow. I have a feeling you're right. I think you are in for a LONG 3 days and I even worry about the trip itself. Please, please stay in touch so we know you're okay. I really hope the TBS is able to do something for her. As for the "disturbing" stuff at sister in law's house, now you have me curious.

    {{{{HUGS}}}} to you.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I hear you! Is there any support you can get --a friend, a professional, somebody--who can help with the fallout, and help you on your drive there? Is there any chance difficult child will jump out of the car?
    I hope you have some way of calming yourself down; meditation, yoga, even a bath or a walk.
    Many hugs.
  4. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Oh they're not driving, and I'm not going out there. The drive would be WAY too much - FL to OR is several days of driving. husband, mother in law, and difficult child are flying out Tuesday morning, enrolling her on Weds, and leaving Thurs.
  5. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Oh boy I wouldn't want to be on that flight. Good thoughts for the next few days.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am relieved that you are not making the trip. Saying prayers that all goes well. DDD
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Could you ask for a medication to make her loopy before getting on the plane? If she throws a big enough fit they won't let her on. Good luck
  8. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I was getting ready to say that flight could be a real issue if she is acting up! I wish you the best of luck
  9. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I don't think she'll throw a fit getting on the plane. I hope not, anyway. I don't think she has the cajones to pull that koi with her father and grandmother.

    Both last night and today she said that she was going to threaten to hurt people at the new school so they'll send her home. My mother in law told her, in no uncertain terms, that at her age, if she made threats like that, then she would NOT be coming home, that she would be going to a juvenile facility to be with people who really HAVE hurt people, that there would be nothing we could do, and no amount of money would be able to get her out.

    Right now she's next door at mother in law's house, and mother in law said that she's actually fine. We'll see what happens when we start packing.

    Tuesday morning I'm treating myself to a new haircut (haven't had my hair cut in almost 4 years!), deep conditioning treatment, and an eyebrow wax.
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Hugs to you. I hope these next few days pass uneventfully. And, I am so sorry that you have to have your boys go through all of this. It must be hard. I hope the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) will help your difficult child figure things out, and if/when she comes home, it will be with an adjusted attitude. Enjoy your Tuesday of pampering you deserve it.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm praying the next few days go better than you are expecting. I'm glad you are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. (((hugs)))
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Counting the minutes with you!
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    I hope the next few days go smoothly for everyone.
  14. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Greene, I have been thinking about you and wondering how things were going. I hope that difficult child is okay on the flight. What is the policy of the TBS for students who try to get thrown out? What do they do if student go out of their way to try to maker themselves such a problem that the school feels they have a no choice but to throw them out?
  15. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Well, eventually if it gets too bad, they are dismissed from the school. I don't think it will get to that point, at least I hope not. They have both a goal ladder to climb and a good-sounding consequence system.

    Packing today was fun - NOT! difficult child was wound up, uncooperative, and downright rude. mother in law (bless her) came over to help, which made things go so much better than they could have been. I just HATE when difficult child is the one ramping up and being rude, then she turns around and says that I'M the one who needs to "calm down," even when I'm remaining calm.

    I'm still just amazed at how visceral my response is to her, and how I didn't really notice it until she had been out of my home for a few weeks and I actually had some time to decompress. Even after packing today, which compared to some of her antics was relatively tame - for the rest of the day and even now I can literally FEEL the stress coursing through my system. To think that I've lived with that stress in my system for YEARS AND YEARS... goodness! It's no wonder I'm a mess.

    One more day. Then I really get to take my life back.
  16. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I hope for everyone's sake she sees the benefit the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) can be, and she will cooperate. Hugs for the next day. And that Tues will go smoothly.
  17. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    I'm not worried about Tuesday - difficult child is spending the night at mother in law's, and they're having to leave at 5:30am to get to the airport. The last time I see difficult child for a while will be tomorrow sometime.

    I too hope she cooperates with the program.

    It's so frustrating to deal with her - she thinks SHE is just fine and dandy, it's everyone ELSE who has a problem. Even today she was talking about how she'd "changed." Yes, she's most definitely changed - for the WORSE!

    So many of her issues look like Borderline that it scares the koi out of me.
  18. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, hopefully the Therapeutic school deals with borderline personality, if that is what it is, and will have coping skills already in place. Just take a deep breath. And hold on for a few more hours.
  19. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    My difficult child does the same things. Tells me that I'm the one who needs to calm down, yet he's the one who is screaming at the top of his lungs. My fingers and toes are crossed for you that the rest of Monday goes alright and that once she gets to the school she will eventually wise up and grab hold of the opportunity that she's being given. This could be a life changers for her.
  20. buddy

    buddy New Member

    She won't be the first to be resistant. She doesn't like consequences and they have the man power to follow through. I bet she'll figure that out. She's just trying to get a reaction. She's desperate.

    She seems way beyond borderline. She seems Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) in some ways. A lot of those things overlap
    Will be interesting to see what the docs there think.

    She may actually end up liking it if they're good. I hope so!