Gone Again!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Feb 28, 2012.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    And I am FUMING!!!!

    husband and I awoke this morning to discover that difficult child was already gone....and we realized that we have no idea whether she left this morning before 6:15 am (seems unlikely) or sometime last night (more likely).

    She is most likely with some guy....and most likely went out to have sex with him (yes - she is on the birth contrtol implant).

    By snooping through her bedroom, I have pieced together that the boy we invited into our house over the weekend gave us a fake name - so now I don't have the slightest idea who the heck he is....but that's probably the one she is with.

    Also weird - she is missing her fancy black dress and her nice dress shoes.

    School is starting just now - so I am waiting to hear whether she arrived.


    I am so beyond anger right now that I almost find myself in a strange calm. I have decided to take her musical instruments to the pawn shop today. I'm sure not whether I will use the money to buy something nice for myself - or whether we will invest it in home security monitoring...

    but either way, difficult child will arrive home this afternoon to discover a sign hanging on her music stand:

    "Isn't it frustrating when something you love is not where it is supposed to be? The is how WE feel when we can't find someone we love."

    What do you think?
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I LOVE IT!!!

    Onyxx did this to us a couple of times. Supposedly, she was going to a friend's to "study". She would "clear" it with husband the night before (at the time, remember, he was the "nice" parent)... And then go to D's. Yes, we knew where she was, supposedly.

    D is the kid she was arrested with in May, in a vacant house, smoking pot.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Absolutely love the note! Sheer brilliance.

    Sorry she's giving you more grief.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Well, just confirmed with the school that she is there...

    and there are no school activities today that would require a fancy dress.

    So where ever she was overnight or in the wee hours - it was NOT a school activity.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    OH my, I dont know if I would sell it yet...just for YOUR sake, not for what she will feel (sorry if that seems cold) but you can always do that later if you cool off and find you still want to do it. But for now maybe just hide them, if you do anything with them at all. Sometimes I take things then regret it because it is not just his tool to calm or distract himself but it is MY break from him...

    anyway, bigger issue... so so unsafe and frustrating. I can't imagine the level of fear mixed with frustration and upset you feel. It will be very interesting to see if she is in school. What do you plan to do if she is there? If she isn't???

    HUGS DF, I wish I could offer some constructive help.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    any teen clubs??
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Oh no, Buddy - I will get a loan on them at the pawn shop. She's got a job now....she wants them back she can get them herself.

    See in the past, we have taken things away...and it hasn't phased her one bit to know that the item is sitting there in Mom and Dad's room for whenever she wants to earn it back (in her own sweet time). This time, I want them OUT of my house. At first, I thought of putting them in the trunk of the car or leaving them with a friend...

    but I think I like the idea of a pawn shop the best. It will give her a deadline...
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    ok, well that is kind of creative then, I am for sure one who has done some pretty out of the box things, in the end not my finest moments at times, but other times I can be pretty successful so if this feels like the next logical step... go for it!
  9. totiredtofight

    totiredtofight New Member

    I know its a hassle for the rest of the family but maybe putting double-sided deadbolts on the doors and alarms on the windows .. then she would need a key to get out the door or set off the alarm.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    We are thinking along those lines...

    The thing is, we are renting our house - so we have to consider that when installing things (although the landlady would probably be OK with it)

    The house is already wired with a home security system...we just never activated the service. Things is, though - the windows are not wired. So we would have to wire the window's in difficult child's room (at a cost of almost $200 for just her bedroom)...

    so thinking, thinking,

    think! think! think!
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    DF, sweetie, this is just nuts. You know that ktbug has a tendency to do this sort of thing so please know I understand your anger, fear & frustration.

    Do what needs to be done in you home to keep your family safe & sane. There comes a time when your difficult children must learn the consequences the hard way.

  12. totiredtofight

    totiredtofight New Member

    I see .. i know home depot sells window alarms fairly cheap that work like wireless doorbells .. just place them on the window and the chime place where ever you would like it. you can even set each window to a different shime so you know which window it is when you hear it .. best of all it just takes a few small screws so there is no damage.
  13. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Do you mean that investing in more locks and alarms is "nuts" ?
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Plant a large goose-berry or hawthorn shrub under her window? (ever seen those thorns?!)
    Outside motion detector?

    What kind of window is it... slider? casement?
  15. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    It's gotta be "difficult child Proof", too....so anything that is too easy to disable or unscrew is out of the question.
  16. totiredtofight

    totiredtofight New Member

    Ha Insane .. thats what my mom did to stop me from sneaking out .. I didnt even know she planted that cactus till i landed on it
  17. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    This morning (or late last night), she went right out the front door. So when we block that exit - she will move on to the windows. Sliders that open onto scratchy bushes - but I don't think a few scratches will be much of a deterrent.
  18. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You don't need to tie the window into the existing alarm system. (you're right, going that route is expensive)

    You just need an "internal" alarm for when you are at home... if everybody is away, it isn't an issue... right? There are some window alarms that can be installed that essentially set of a screech if they are tampered with... so, if the window is opened, it will scream... but if somebody tries to take the alarm off in order to open the window, it will still scream. And if that means she can't open her window in the summer, well... TOUGH. NOBODY is going to complain if she sets off the alarm due to a fire, Know what I mean?? Anything else is... escape attempt.
  19. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    We did this with Onyxx's room, and random other possible windows.

    Thing is... The ones we were able to find have an ON OFF switch. Easy to get to. Grr.
  20. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yeah - most of this stuff is designed to keep people OUT....not keep teenagers IN.