Gone again

[comatheart]

My difficult child is gone again. I had suspected he was using again and sure enough, the sober living house popped a random drug test on him. He failed for Benzo's, Amphetamines, and THC. He was asked to leave and he took off.

I have no clue where he is and he's not speaking to me. He blocked us on his social media and doesnt respond to calls or texts. He admitted earlier in the wk he hadnt been keeping up with his medications. Thats sure to scew him up in the head, hes on so much. He has no job, no money, he didn't even take his clothes when he ran!!

My heart is heavy, but I'm emotionless. I haven't cried a single tear this time (and I typically cry at everything!) i don't know if I'm still in shock or what? I have lost all sense of hope.

 

[BusynMember]

I suspect nobody knows what to say to help you feel better. I don't, but I wanted you to know you are being heard.

He is going silent to punish you, not because anything has happened to him. Am I sure? Nobody can ever be sure, but that's the usual mo. His anger is shown by his blocking you from his social media so that is probably what is fueling this silence.

Prescribed medication for mental health disorders DO NOT WORK UNLESS THE PERSON IS CLEAN AND SOBER. An antidepressant is helpless against pot, meth, psychodelics, anything that is competing with it so if he was prescribed medication and didn't take it and he was still abusing street drugs, it makes no difference t hat he stopped taking the prescribed drugs. He is just in a place where he either has to decide that his life has to change or maybe he'll end up in jail, which is not always a bad thing, as you know.

We are always with you. I know that numb feeling. You don't want to do anything, especially for yourself. YOu feel catatonic. But, if you can pull yourself up at all, and you feel it has helped you in the past, or have never tried it yet, I'd attempt to go to an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting, even if you don't say a word. They won't make you. That way you can get some face time support.

I wish I had better advice or words of wisdom. I didn't want you to feel deserted.

Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.

 

[Nancy]

I'm so sorry coma. I know that feeling well. My heart sank every time my difficult child left or got kicked out of a sober house. There did come a time when I just couldn't cry anymore.

I pray he stays safe and gets back into help.

 

[in a daze]

I am so sorry. Prayers for you and difficult child.

At least the weather's nice. That was one consolation we had when I kicked our difficult child out 3 years ago.

 

[dstc_99]

I'm so sorry! I hope you find some peace soon


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[nlj]

I'm so sorry.
I hope you have news soon to stop your worry.
I would think that, if he is roaming the streets with nowhere to go and is taking drugs and off his medications, then maybe it is only a matter of time before the police pick him up and take him somewhere safe and presumably they would contact you to let you know.

 

[pasajes4]

Prayers for your son and for you.

 

[Kathy813]

Hi comaheart. I think that you are in the shock and feeling numb stage. It happens to all of us. It will wear off and the worry and hurt will start again but each time it is a little easier to bear. At this point, there is nothing you can do. Your difficult child has to decide what type of life he wants to live.

In the meantime, comfort yourself with the knowledge that you did everything you could to help him and now it is time to let go and let God.

A support group and/or therapist is invaluable at a time like this. Keep posting . . . we are here to listen and support you.

{{{Hugs}}}

~Kathy

 

[Childofmine]

Coma, please keep us posted about you. I am so sorry that the merry go round is turning again. It seems like addiction never takes a break, just keeps on coming at you and at them.

I can only imagine your hurt and fear for your 18-year-old son.

Please keep moving forward, coma. Feel what you feel, cry as much as you need to, stare at the wall, and then after a while, get up and scrub the kitchen floor.

Little by little, start thinking about the next right thing you can do for yourself.

Find an Al-Anon meeting nearby and commit to going six times. Download some Al-Anon literature. Get out Co-Dependent no more.

Write down all of your thoughts and feelings---dump them out on the page.

Pray. Meditate. Rest. Tell us your thoughts and your feelings.

We are here for you and we get it. The ups are so great, and the downs are so low. Hugs for you. Blessings for you and your whole family, including difficult child.

You are in my prayers.