Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Gone Boy
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650225" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is, but he doesn't think like a normal person. If he is a drug addict, the drugs are fueling his behavior. Or he has a personality disorder, which is odd thinking too, and he could have both.</p><p></p><p>Trying to figure our adult kids out in normal terms does not work. For me, it just works out best to accept what is, not look at the past or future, accept the present and not try to figure it out because we can't. If they thought like a "normal" person thinks, we could sort of get some idea of the "why," but if they were anywhere near a "normal" or "typical" thinker, they would not do the things they do.</p><p></p><p>One trait that seems pervasive is that they do not think about others. They don't muse over what we have done for them or that we love them. And I think "Love" is different for them. It is more of an opportunistic feeling. "What has she done for me lately? I'll love her if she gives me what I want." I believe many of those who brought us to this forum consider us more like objects...I call us their ATMs. This lack of empathy tends to be their biggest downfall, but we can't change that.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart. Try to be nice to yourself today and remember how futile it is to ruminate over the future. He will likely come back when he needs an ATM.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650225, member: 1550"] It is, but he doesn't think like a normal person. If he is a drug addict, the drugs are fueling his behavior. Or he has a personality disorder, which is odd thinking too, and he could have both. Trying to figure our adult kids out in normal terms does not work. For me, it just works out best to accept what is, not look at the past or future, accept the present and not try to figure it out because we can't. If they thought like a "normal" person thinks, we could sort of get some idea of the "why," but if they were anywhere near a "normal" or "typical" thinker, they would not do the things they do. One trait that seems pervasive is that they do not think about others. They don't muse over what we have done for them or that we love them. And I think "Love" is different for them. It is more of an opportunistic feeling. "What has she done for me lately? I'll love her if she gives me what I want." I believe many of those who brought us to this forum consider us more like objects...I call us their ATMs. This lack of empathy tends to be their biggest downfall, but we can't change that. Hugs for your hurting heart. Try to be nice to yourself today and remember how futile it is to ruminate over the future. He will likely come back when he needs an ATM. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Gone Boy
Top