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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 650512" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>It will never be you that has that lack of empathy. If anything it has been years of you having too much empathy for you Difficult Child that holds none for you because they are incapable of having any. You don't go from being an empathetic person to not being one. You go from being empathic with good reason, while you stop being empathetic to people who lie, cheat and steal from you or use your empathy against you. It becomes a balancing act where you stop <strong><em>ALWAYS</em></strong> being the "good" person, with those who will trash and tarnish those feelings, to moving on with your own life and sharing those empathetic feelings with people who are deserving of them. Yes, you will have to build a shield around your heart, as you become aware that those you have loved and entrusted with your heart are perfectly capable of stomping all over it to get their own needs met. Better to save empathy for those who deserve it and appreciate it than to waste it on people who will only use and abuse you in the end. </p><p></p><p>Sounds as if you are feeling a little guilty for coming to a place where you realize both what you are dealing with and the likelihood that the situation will not change. It is perfectly OK to feel this way, natural really. If you were a fish, swimming in a new pond, one that has not been polluted and because of that, can breath again without wondering what else is going to be dumped into your pond, would you worry how it feels to be in a clean pond? No, because all you would feel is nature as it was meant to be, not caught up in all that others have dumped on you.</p><p></p><p>As the song goes: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 650512, member: 18366"] It will never be you that has that lack of empathy. If anything it has been years of you having too much empathy for you Difficult Child that holds none for you because they are incapable of having any. You don't go from being an empathetic person to not being one. You go from being empathic with good reason, while you stop being empathetic to people who lie, cheat and steal from you or use your empathy against you. It becomes a balancing act where you stop [B][I]ALWAYS[/I][/B] being the "good" person, with those who will trash and tarnish those feelings, to moving on with your own life and sharing those empathetic feelings with people who are deserving of them. Yes, you will have to build a shield around your heart, as you become aware that those you have loved and entrusted with your heart are perfectly capable of stomping all over it to get their own needs met. Better to save empathy for those who deserve it and appreciate it than to waste it on people who will only use and abuse you in the end. Sounds as if you are feeling a little guilty for coming to a place where you realize both what you are dealing with and the likelihood that the situation will not change. It is perfectly OK to feel this way, natural really. If you were a fish, swimming in a new pond, one that has not been polluted and because of that, can breath again without wondering what else is going to be dumped into your pond, would you worry how it feels to be in a clean pond? No, because all you would feel is nature as it was meant to be, not caught up in all that others have dumped on you. As the song goes: "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...." [/QUOTE]
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