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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 71999" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Hi SRL, I've been thinking about your post since I read it earlier today and wondering how I should respond. I'm with Sheila -- a lot of what you say feels very familiar. My difficult child 1 doesn't have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but he has always had significant anxiety and a bipolar-like mood disorder that "blossomed" at the age of 12. In his preschool and elementary school years, we muddled through on our own by working with him rather than against him. I had not read The Explosive Child until after he was diagnosed with a mood disorder, but somehow instinctively husband and I knew that flexibility and planning (what you have done with your difficult child) made for a happier household.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child 1 entered 6th grade, everything spun out of control. He was angry, irritable, frustrated and destructive. He hated going to school and refused to do any homework. No matter what we tried, nothing seemed to work. It was at that point that we knew we needed intensive outside help, and difficult child 1 began seeing a psychiatrist for weekly psychotherapy and medication management (we had to switch psychiatrists a couple of times until we found the right fit, but he has now been seeing the same psychiatrist for almost 2 years). While I can't promise that everything is rosy in our household, I can say that things have decidedly taken a turn for the better.</p><p></p><p>It's been my experience with my three kids that anxiety can take many forms and change what it looks like over the years (my easy child/difficult child 3 has had her anxiety present at different times as separation anxiety, hair pulling, selective mutism, eating disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies). Although your difficult child appears no longer anxious about school, he could still be anxious about other things and you're seeing it at home in spades. Furthermore, anxiety often goes hand-in-hand with depression, and irritability in children is frequently a symptom of depression. I'm not saying this is definitely what's going on with your difficult child, but I just wanted to put it out there for you to consider.</p><p></p><p>So what to do. Is your difficult child in therapy? If not, would you consider it at this point? Is it worth reconsidering medications? I know you had some bad experiences with SSRIs (so have we), but there are other medications out there that can make a huge difference in a difficult child's ability to cope.</p><p></p><p>One other thought: While The Explosive Child is an excellent beginning, you might want to pick up a copy of Treating Explosive Kids, Ross Greene's newer book for clinicians. It has a much fuller explanation of how to put collaborative problem solving to work. I even gave a copy to difficult child 1's psychiatrist, who was very impressed with it and coaches us on how to use the techniques with difficult child 1.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. I really feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 71999, member: 2423"] Hi SRL, I've been thinking about your post since I read it earlier today and wondering how I should respond. I'm with Sheila -- a lot of what you say feels very familiar. My difficult child 1 doesn't have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but he has always had significant anxiety and a bipolar-like mood disorder that "blossomed" at the age of 12. In his preschool and elementary school years, we muddled through on our own by working with him rather than against him. I had not read The Explosive Child until after he was diagnosed with a mood disorder, but somehow instinctively husband and I knew that flexibility and planning (what you have done with your difficult child) made for a happier household. When difficult child 1 entered 6th grade, everything spun out of control. He was angry, irritable, frustrated and destructive. He hated going to school and refused to do any homework. No matter what we tried, nothing seemed to work. It was at that point that we knew we needed intensive outside help, and difficult child 1 began seeing a psychiatrist for weekly psychotherapy and medication management (we had to switch psychiatrists a couple of times until we found the right fit, but he has now been seeing the same psychiatrist for almost 2 years). While I can't promise that everything is rosy in our household, I can say that things have decidedly taken a turn for the better. It's been my experience with my three kids that anxiety can take many forms and change what it looks like over the years (my easy child/difficult child 3 has had her anxiety present at different times as separation anxiety, hair pulling, selective mutism, eating disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies). Although your difficult child appears no longer anxious about school, he could still be anxious about other things and you're seeing it at home in spades. Furthermore, anxiety often goes hand-in-hand with depression, and irritability in children is frequently a symptom of depression. I'm not saying this is definitely what's going on with your difficult child, but I just wanted to put it out there for you to consider. So what to do. Is your difficult child in therapy? If not, would you consider it at this point? Is it worth reconsidering medications? I know you had some bad experiences with SSRIs (so have we), but there are other medications out there that can make a huge difference in a difficult child's ability to cope. One other thought: While The Explosive Child is an excellent beginning, you might want to pick up a copy of Treating Explosive Kids, Ross Greene's newer book for clinicians. It has a much fuller explanation of how to put collaborative problem solving to work. I even gave a copy to difficult child 1's psychiatrist, who was very impressed with it and coaches us on how to use the techniques with difficult child 1. Good luck. I really feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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