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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 690990" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>OMG you guys. Between last night and tonight, it is like a new world.</p><p></p><p>You cannot imagine how useful were your comments, some of which I did not read until tonight. But I must have channeled them because every single one helped, especially being hit with a fish. (I smelled, but who cares?)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Let me tell you what happened.</p><p></p><p>First, I watched Cedar's dog whisperer video and that context, realizing that I am the dog--and the dog trainer made all of the difference. So what did I do? I promptly went to work and told a sweet young supervisor man, my learning. And he was too kind to look at me like I was a nutcase, by the end of the day he called me a "fascinating woman." I mean, when have you at work (recently) had somebody report to you that their self-talk consisted of reminding themselves they were a misbehaving (but basically good) dog, that needed structure and support?</p><p></p><p>So, starting from this point, I realized that my obligation was to not reward the misbehavior or to add to the feeling state.</p><p></p><p>And because somebody had told me (Lil, I think) and others too, IApple) to remember it was my <em>first day.</em></p><p></p><p><em>So, ready made, I had my intervention.</em> I mean: First day, is so much kinder, than the alternatives I had been using such as: Alzheimer's, too old (too fat), can't cut it anymore, lost mojo, completely ruined and destroyed (fill in the blank--mother's death, son's trouble) and generally and globally failed.</p><p></p><p>I was ready this morning with: New. Oh. I am new. That is it. Nobody expects me to be other than new. And COPA, do yourself (and everybody else) the favor to allow yourself to be new--without going to fail--because this place really needs your help, and really wants you to make it. Nobody will be gratified or served by going down this road. So don't.</p><p></p><p>So I did not.</p><p></p><p>What I took away from this, is to remember, again, that every single minute of our lives we can decide to take a different course. So I did.</p><p></p><p>And I had a great day. I co-led a group on anxiety and stress. And guess what? Every single thing that you guys helped me see (in myself) I was able to share. So, Jabber, I used your intervention which essentially was, focus on your work....and helping one person. By helping myself, I was able to help a whole group.</p><p></p><p>There is no way I could ever put into words my gratitude and what it has meant to me to have you. To be able to trust that I can tell you anything at all--and you will tell me back in a way that is kind and true and generous and hopeful. What can I say? I am grateful. (And brave.)</p><p></p><p>Because I went back to work my whole life will change. I could not have done it without you. I was wrong yesterday when I said something like: posting is one thing...working is another.</p><p></p><p>I was wrong because I have been gaining strength here every day. Flexing my muscles and developing stamina. Even more, I have had the opportunity to develop my voice, as the new model COPA, integrating the trauma of these last few years. I feel stronger now then ever before. Really. Because you reminded me who I have become. Through my suffering, and the mastery I have achieved here.</p><p></p><p>I am grateful. There are no words to say how much.</p><p></p><p>Love, COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 690990, member: 18958"] OMG you guys. Between last night and tonight, it is like a new world. You cannot imagine how useful were your comments, some of which I did not read until tonight. But I must have channeled them because every single one helped, especially being hit with a fish. (I smelled, but who cares?) Let me tell you what happened. First, I watched Cedar's dog whisperer video and that context, realizing that I am the dog--and the dog trainer made all of the difference. So what did I do? I promptly went to work and told a sweet young supervisor man, my learning. And he was too kind to look at me like I was a nutcase, by the end of the day he called me a "fascinating woman." I mean, when have you at work (recently) had somebody report to you that their self-talk consisted of reminding themselves they were a misbehaving (but basically good) dog, that needed structure and support? So, starting from this point, I realized that my obligation was to not reward the misbehavior or to add to the feeling state. And because somebody had told me (Lil, I think) and others too, IApple) to remember it was my [I]first day.[/I] [I]So, ready made, I had my intervention.[/I] I mean: First day, is so much kinder, than the alternatives I had been using such as: Alzheimer's, too old (too fat), can't cut it anymore, lost mojo, completely ruined and destroyed (fill in the blank--mother's death, son's trouble) and generally and globally failed. I was ready this morning with: New. Oh. I am new. That is it. Nobody expects me to be other than new. And COPA, do yourself (and everybody else) the favor to allow yourself to be new--without going to fail--because this place really needs your help, and really wants you to make it. Nobody will be gratified or served by going down this road. So don't. So I did not. What I took away from this, is to remember, again, that every single minute of our lives we can decide to take a different course. So I did. And I had a great day. I co-led a group on anxiety and stress. And guess what? Every single thing that you guys helped me see (in myself) I was able to share. So, Jabber, I used your intervention which essentially was, focus on your work....and helping one person. By helping myself, I was able to help a whole group. There is no way I could ever put into words my gratitude and what it has meant to me to have you. To be able to trust that I can tell you anything at all--and you will tell me back in a way that is kind and true and generous and hopeful. What can I say? I am grateful. (And brave.) Because I went back to work my whole life will change. I could not have done it without you. I was wrong yesterday when I said something like: posting is one thing...working is another. I was wrong because I have been gaining strength here every day. Flexing my muscles and developing stamina. Even more, I have had the opportunity to develop my voice, as the new model COPA, integrating the trauma of these last few years. I feel stronger now then ever before. Really. Because you reminded me who I have become. Through my suffering, and the mastery I have achieved here. I am grateful. There are no words to say how much. Love, COPA [/QUOTE]
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