Got a family Dr. who understands!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by aeroeng, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Last summer I took by difficult child and his younger brother to their pediatrician for a yearly exam. difficult child had a disagreement with the Dr. and got angry. Dr. did not want me to let him leave the room because he was too angry. I was new to the explosion problems and agreed with the Dr. (Now I would never force him to stay in the room when mad, I would let him escape and take him out to the car). I was holding the door so difficult child could not get out. difficult child's anger grew exponentially until he said, "I will beat you up mom, (older bro) is bigger then me and I can beat him up. I can beat you up as well". I knew despite his anger he had never hit or hurt ether myself or his older brother and this was just talk. But the Dr. did not know this so he put the boy in a full nelson head lock. difficult child struggled and every corpuscle in his face ruptured. Upon looking at his face he exploded again. Screaming every curse word there is in rolls of profanity. I just walked to the car. At the time my difficult child was going to a school rougher then I knew about and had taken pride that he did not curse. So by time we actually got in the car he started apologizing for cursing saying, "You know I don't curse. That's not me". He cried the entire way home. At least until we got a call from the camp is older brother was at. Older bro had accidently pushed a camp counselor in the pool and they wanted us to pay for the blackberry. Then my difficult child witnessed thieves stilling someone's gas. And this actually calmed him down.

    But fast forward to today. difficult child lost all trust in his pediatrician. The pediatrician calls every now and then asking about him, will write any referral I request, but agrees he should see a different primary Dr. Yesterday I saw my family practice Dr. While there I asked if he would take difficult child on as a patient. I was a little bit afraid if he knew the past he might not want to face the problems. But instead he said yes he could be his primary Dr. but warned me that he had no background in psychiatry and did not know how to recommend anything related to the anger issues. After talking he let me know that he had two explosive kids of his own. It sounded like he had tried everything under the sun and nothing worked. He recommended reading the Explosive Child. (Which I had already ordered).

    Now I know he is not going to be able to tell me how to solve the problems. But, I have not found anyone else who can ether. But because he has been there, done that, he is not going to be judgmental or blame it on parenting, medical choices or lack of involvement. He'll probably be able to see an event building before it happens and understand better how to avoid it. A little thing, but a relief. difficult child now has a Dr that can deal with the typical boy injuries, skin rashes, ear infections, medical stuff they all need. Ya!
  2. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    YAY!!! sorry to hear the dr has one/two of his own but it sure does help huh? Glad you found someone!
  3. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie


    I am so glad this doctor is one of us so to speak!

    I alwas think,whether its politicians,doctors, etc NO ONE understands like someone that has the same problem in their lives
  4. compassion

    compassion Member

    Great!!!! Isn't it cool how that works? I had syncronity like that this summer. The first t-doctor that phoned back was very experinced with waht I needed. Same with p-doctor. Stuff like that happened at the phospital tool It is amazing. Ia m so grateful from the first pokiceman to the attroney we were reffered to from someonw with tons of experince in the juvnile and crimnal justice systems. To the Nami group who is spearheaded by a woman I used to be a La Leche leader with years ago. To this forum that I got from one of my favorite bipolar books. Grateful, grateful gratful. Last night at the Nami Parent to Parent, there were ten people plus the presenters. All the guys were musicans and the women were all into being very committed to their families, travel, reading and outddor Nature activies like me. Compassion
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Well, whaddaya know?
    You certainly will have a sympathetic ear, and a place to go for care.
    Isn't life funny?
    Best of luck.
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I have always said, the most important thing to have in your medical team is a good, understanding, capable and communicative GP, to be the spider at the centre of the web. The GP doesn't have to know it all, he just has to be sympathetic and persistent, and write the referrals to whoever's expert assistence you need, for this part or that part of the problem. The GP also is the one to get all the letters back from specialists and to keep everything neatly on file.

    A good GP needs to be cultivated, coddled, supported, nurtured and valued. The more specialised a specialist, the more they can get away with rudeness, with being unpleasant to you, with not believing you and having a bedside manner that would make House look like a beatnik on valium. We see specialists for specific reasons, dealing with a fragment of the problem. Only a good GP can deal with the whole person and do it effectively.

    I had a brilliant GP (he left general practice, otherwise I'd still have him). He referred me to a gynaecologist for a relevant problem, but I had trouble with that bloke (even though he was a good friend of my GP's). Without even batting an eyelid, my GP found someone else for me and wrote the referral.
    He did this sort of thing all the time, for me and for his other patients.

    Blood worth bottling!