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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649183" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I would say she can see her sister only under your supervision since s he uses drugs. You two don't need to talk, but you need to make sure she and Sis are in a restaurant full of people and not sneaking off into the night. At least, that's what I'd do and if she gets angry, too bad. I don't know how old your younger one is, but you can sort of protect her until she is eighteen, then it's up to her.</p><p></p><p>You actually DID text with your daughter, even though she initiated it, so you aren't out of contact with her entirely. She sounds like (and this is just a guess) she could have either borderline personality disorder, especially if she has always been this way...borderlines leave people, often coming back only to leave again.....and they are very unpredictable emotionally and usually do not feel responsible for anything they do...or she could be doing more drugs than you think, if she became this way very quickly. She is punishing you for not paying for and upkeeping her car, which you shouldn't have to do. Our different adult chidlren often use this tactic. It's the adult version of, "I'll hold my breath until I'm blue and pass out." It's "I'll teach YOU a lesson." It's not good for our grown kids if we give into that and it's even worse for us.</p><p></p><p>If she texts you again, I would only respond with one word or a short phrase. "Yes." "No." "I'll think about it." If she texts abuse after that, just type, "Contact me when you are calmer" turn off the phone, put it in a drawer, do not give her a forum to abuse you. You don't need or deserve that. Never check her FB. They use that to abuse us too.</p><p></p><p>If she is smoking pot and maybe doing much more, she shouldn't be driving. It's actually a safety concern and you're doing the right thing and I assume she doesn't work either, like most of our differently wired honeybuns.</p><p></p><p>Don't be swayed by your heart. Think with your head. If your daughter gets abusive, refuse to engage her and just firmly end the conversation.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have to go through this. As time goes on, you'll get fed up and learn how to deal in a very curt, efficient way with this daughter so that you don't give her fodder for abuse and you can keep moving forward. Do you see a therapist to help you with this? Go to a support group?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649183, member: 1550"] I would say she can see her sister only under your supervision since s he uses drugs. You two don't need to talk, but you need to make sure she and Sis are in a restaurant full of people and not sneaking off into the night. At least, that's what I'd do and if she gets angry, too bad. I don't know how old your younger one is, but you can sort of protect her until she is eighteen, then it's up to her. You actually DID text with your daughter, even though she initiated it, so you aren't out of contact with her entirely. She sounds like (and this is just a guess) she could have either borderline personality disorder, especially if she has always been this way...borderlines leave people, often coming back only to leave again.....and they are very unpredictable emotionally and usually do not feel responsible for anything they do...or she could be doing more drugs than you think, if she became this way very quickly. She is punishing you for not paying for and upkeeping her car, which you shouldn't have to do. Our different adult chidlren often use this tactic. It's the adult version of, "I'll hold my breath until I'm blue and pass out." It's "I'll teach YOU a lesson." It's not good for our grown kids if we give into that and it's even worse for us. If she texts you again, I would only respond with one word or a short phrase. "Yes." "No." "I'll think about it." If she texts abuse after that, just type, "Contact me when you are calmer" turn off the phone, put it in a drawer, do not give her a forum to abuse you. You don't need or deserve that. Never check her FB. They use that to abuse us too. If she is smoking pot and maybe doing much more, she shouldn't be driving. It's actually a safety concern and you're doing the right thing and I assume she doesn't work either, like most of our differently wired honeybuns. Don't be swayed by your heart. Think with your head. If your daughter gets abusive, refuse to engage her and just firmly end the conversation. I'm sorry you have to go through this. As time goes on, you'll get fed up and learn how to deal in a very curt, efficient way with this daughter so that you don't give her fodder for abuse and you can keep moving forward. Do you see a therapist to help you with this? Go to a support group? [/QUOTE]
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