Got behind a...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by witzend, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    ...stinky person in line at the store today. I mean burn my eyes stinky. OMG I can still smell it! It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where the valet ruined his car with his smell and they had to lock the restaurant manager in the car until he promised to have it detailed.

  2. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Oh wow, nothing is worse than a really stanky person standing in your vicinity ...
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hahahahahaha....I just came from the vets office and while I was waiting for Sophie to come back from her blood draw I stepped over to where the vet had been standing and nearly's his BREATH! How disgusting is that?
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Ugh! I recently attended a high school band performance for my cousins son. Someone seated near us smelled so bad we in our group (there were 5 of us) were doing courtesy sniffs of each other. Eww! We all were so sure we were somehow "the one" and very paranoid until the show finished and we sniff checked each other and realized nope, it was just someone nearby. The way seating was and where we were particularly seated, we weren't direct in front or behind anyone so it had to be really rank seated closer. The worst for me though is alcohol in someones pores. I was getting a coffee this past winter, waiting in a line up. The man in front of me was dressed to the nines for work and appeared completely sober. He must have had some doozy of a bender that weekend as it was oozing from his pores and different than fresh alcohol breath etc. Nasty!
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Ick ick ick! Bad enough when it's a fourth grader, but worse when it's an adult!
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    And you have to know it was one of those people who are clueless about the debit card machine and had to be instructed twice on how to do it. I kept trying back up and hold my breath - I thought I was going to pass out!
  7. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Oh my heck! Reminds me of my trip several years ago with difficult child to an Eastern European country. We got on public bus-95 degrees outside...they don't believe in rolling down windows, may cause ear infections or something. Also no A/C anywhere. The bus- soooo rank. What do you do? Can't cover your nose it would be rude. Breathe? Only if you want to barf. Only time we ever rode the bus.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    "Courtesy sniffs" ???

    "Sniff checks" ???

    M- contact Merriam-Webster....I think you need to add these to the vernacular. OMG- love 'em! :rofl:

  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Exhausted, your bus story reminds me of when I was a kid and had to ride a school bus. OMG! We had an hour-long ride morning and evening in the Florida heat and humidity, and of course no a/c in the buses back then. The last stop (thankfully) was at a cluster of tiny little rental houses where about 15 kids got on, then it was still a 20 minute ride to the school. The bus was packed full and most of them had to stand in the aisle. I swear, there were kids in that bunch who had never had a bath in their lives! The smell was enough to make you gag, and there was no way to get away from them with everybody crammed in like that. It was nauseating! As soon as they got on, everybody would automatically put all the windows down but all that seemed to do was to stir up the fumes! They were the first to get off in the afternoon and all the windows would be down again to let the bus air out! Those windows would be down even if it was cold or raining!
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    back when I lived in Germany in the 80s, bathing was not done frequently and deodorant was hard to find and expensive.

    We lived in a very old village and it was hard to get around by car so we took the bus everywhere. Riding the bus was an exercise in mouthbreathing as a good snootful would gag you.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Axed to put warning here. spit warning.

    I carry earplugs - foam earplugs with me all.the.time. I have sensitivity issues that on any given day can act up, and I need to put them in so I don't cut short my shopping trips, or have to leave a store for fear I will harm somone. (no I'm not kidding - scuffing shoes, popping gum, crying children, ticking noises, that beeping noise in Walmart)

    So I'm standing in line at the pharmacy in WM one day and with five registers of course they only have one girl working as cashier. The line is down the aisle and twisted around the corner and nearly to the first self-check out 20 items or less on the other side of the entrance. On either side of the aisle are items. To my left? Pepto, zegrid etc. To my right - oddly enough? Depends. So I'm in line for eternity, and in front of me is a nicely dressed woman. Neat hair, nicely groomed and painted nails, sharply dressed. Behind me is an elderly woman with her son buying diabetic supplies. To my left is a younger woman buying peptobismol and in that mix of four people is someone with the most retched gas so badly fowling my air that I'm nearly throwing up in my mouth. Not once, but twice the air is so thick it's green. It's anyone's guess as to who dealt it. But I'm telling you? One more of those and I was going to pass out or throw up. So the young lady buying the pepto was my guess, she left - the line moves up and it NEVER occurs to ME - that ANYONE thinks "IT'S ME." I do NOT fart in public, I would sooner die. (I'll throw a tantrum yes - but not cut the cheese)

    So the air clears and I'm returning to a fleshy pink from green and the woman in front of me never turns around but the woman behind me makes some comment, and I turned around to her and said "It wasn't me." She smiles and her son said something about "I told you I was too close to her - not her....." and just then - IT HAPPENED AGAIN." and OHHHHHH for the love of fresh air "I reached in my purse got two ear plugs *bright neon purple and.....yup - shoved them in my nose. The nicely dressed woman in front of me was the one doing it -----and ---(this was classic) The elderly woman behind me - in one of those little rascal scooter carts with the baskets ----tells ME to move - and SPRAYS the air with a GLADE gardenia aerosol air freshener and says - "Lady if I felt as bad as whats commin out yer behind? I'd get myself out of line and go ta the restroom and stop stinkin' up the air cause DA*(# I'm three people behind cha and I can't hardly breath....GOOD LORD. I think you need to take a BM." and with that - the woman got out of line and left. The elderly woman looked at me - and her son and said "Well I didn't mean ta hurt no feelings but she was burning my nose hairs .poopin up the air like that."

    Everyone in line was about in tears and I was laughing so hard I shot one of my earplugs out of my nose and just left it on the floor. You just can't mess with the logic of an 88 year old woman sitting nose leveil in the firing line of a bad load ---

    Now in our house when anyone stinks - we use that same phrase - poopin up the air. and we still LOL.
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2011
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    OMW worst fart I ever smelled? Day the dog ate a skunk. Took 12+ hours of open windows and almost 2 bottles of air fresheners before we'd go back inside. In Florida, during the summer. Yes, it lingered that long and it was that bad.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911


    DOG EATS A SKUNK....ROFLM air freshener O...
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wow! Star you have me cackling so hard husband came in to see what was so funny!!!

    This reminds me of two things. First was how I have said that gfgbro used to sleep in the den, usually nude iwth no blanket over any of him. Well, he usually had the dog in there. Now ole F (the dog) was the sweetest thing but she had the worst gut ever made. That dog never in her life went an hour with-o a fart. Never. Even when she was outside we would have to get away from her because the smell. Gfgbro drank a lot of alcohol and ate all sorts of fart generating foods (this is the man who put clorox bleach in a pan of hand and beans he left out overnight so that it would still be edible. And he served them to his girlfriend - who wanted to know what that g-awful taste was! he ate rotting food so as to not be "wasteful" and his intestines were a disaster. He also got a type of owrms that mostly only dogs get because they drink out of dirty containers. Good enough for his dog was good enoughf or him - and he used to have a fit if I washed the dog's water bucket or food bowl because I was getting rid of things her body "needed" like probiotics. TWICE we had to go to the vet school for wormer for my gfgbro! I WISH I was joking!)

    So anyway, he would close himself in the den, NOT a small room, and watch dirty movies all night. OFten with his head pillowed on the dog (I figure he burned out his nose that way). Soem mronings? My mother would walk out into the kitchen an HOUR after he got up and she would start opening windows, etc... because the stench was so bad. My father flat out banned candles at that time because he knew gfgbro adored them and was afraid he would blow the house up with all the methane trapped in a room when he lit a candle.

    That was high school and early college.

    Fast forward to college after he went to the Army for 2 yrs. I SWEAR he chose his friends from the international community based on how bad they stank. He spent 2 years constantly mad because my parents were not "hospitable" to his friends - because they REEKED! One guy was some prince in his own country and gfgbro brought him home over winter break. My parents were told it was for 2 nights. Dad and I actually vomited when the guy was introduced to us - and we did not eat in our home that first day. Neither of us could. ONE person smelled that bad. It wasn't just not bathing. It was decades of not washing clothing, wiping in the bathroom, and eating various foods that come out through the pores. But this was worse than even kim chi could make you reek. Then my father learned that in this man's country you didn't visit for a day. You stayed as long as YOU watned. Hosts do NOT ask guests, esp from the higher social groups, to leave. EVER.

    My dad told gfgbro to either tell him to leave or he would do it himself. And NOT politely. My bro ended up having to pay off new cushions for the dining room chairs, cleaning both couches that the guy sat on and he had to drag the mattress from his room out into the sun for several days! Plus by all new nice bedding because he put my mother's best bedding on his bed for this guy. Days after this guy sat on a cushion on the dining room chairs they STILL reeked enough to make me sick from across the room.

    I only WISH I was exaggerating. I bet this guy could give that skunk eating dog a run for his money. I still don't understand why gfgbro picked these people as friends - it mUST have been the smell because they were perfectly horrid people in manners and behavior. NOT because they were from another country but because they just were.

    Star, poopin up the air, I won't EVER forget that!!!! IT is just too perfect and I know little old ladies who would have done that!!!!
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Star, I had to read that to Hubby...he just shook his head and said, "Your friends..." friends!
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    OMG Star that one needed a warning! ROFLMAO!

    I live in hillbilly heaven. Such stinks is not uncommon.
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    husband passes gas and babies cry (true story)... BUT... Onyxx has him totally beat.

    Last week? I was sitting in the dining room, actually on the board, and the DOG laid down behind me. 2 minutes later? I was outside with husband. The dog wanted to FOLLOW - and it followed HIM.

    Nonetheless, I'd much rather dog farts than people who do not bathe. Fresh, honest sweat? No problem. Weeks later? UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH
  18. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    This happened many years ago and this was one of very few fond memories of my mom. We were at a grocery store and there was no one else in the aisle we were in. All of a sudden this terrible, terrible odor came over us. I mean I didn't have a clue what it could be. My mother started gagging and I started gagging and we both were so shocked that we started laughing inbetween the gags. It was the family in the next aisle over and oh my goodness, they could not have bathed in a year, 5 people, grocery shopping, ankles had ground in dirt, just disgusting. They seemed to be oblivious, but my mom and I caught other people coming around the corner looking to see what in the world stunk so bad. We flew up out of there. When we got out we smelled each other to make sure that it hadn't lingered. We could not stop smelling that smell for a long time. I remember having to open the car window and have fresh air blowing on my face, I just couldn't forget that smell. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty.
  19. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I thought of another time when we were at the grocery store. I was with my daughters and they were about 9 and 3 years old. I was bagging groceries and next to me was this older gentleman. He was very nice and talked to the girls. He was also bagging his groceries. He bent over to pick something up and blew the loudest fart I have ever heard. I am not kidding you but things seemed to come to a stand still. i was standing right next to him. Thank god that is was so loud that people really knew where it came from. The smell descended over the crowd and we did not know what hit us. My goodness, I never knew anything could smell like that. People went back to their grocery shopping, but several people did cover their noses. He was completely oblivious or didn't care or was a very good actor. I don't know what he ate but I hope he didn't buy anymore of it.
  20. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    omg, I have had the best laugh of the day. Star, I spit iced tea all over my key pad. I did not know that was coming, you needed to put a warning on that one. Oh my I would have peed my pants.