got the school test results....i'm in trouble!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    So I had the quick mtg. with-the school pyschologist today and the education evaluator. They were going over the testing they did on difficult child with-me. It was exactly what I thought which was i'm sooo not getting an iep or 504 for her.

    The pysch evaluation was a joke. It was a series of questions asked to difficult child by a man in which she does not even know, asking i'm my happiest when...... and blank. They were all fill in questions, it totalled 2 paragraphs. difficult child came home to me that day and said I lied to him, I wasn't telling him "my stuff!"

    the academic evaluation difficult child fell within normal range on it all. They did the wisk. I knew this would happen. Yet difficult child failed the math assessment test just a mos or so ago.

    So, the school psychologist had the nerve to say to me "i'm relieved that she tested so well, at least now we know what or who the problem is, you. Mother's and daughte'rs can have very intense relationships hence she is displaying these behaviors only infront of you.

    In other words I'm the problem, i just dont' know how to handle my kid! There was more said yet i can't remember exact words.

    So, the ppl they questioned my ex who does not believe anything is wrong with-difficult child, the teacher who suggested i give her herbs and there is nothing wrong with her exact quote she is not bipolar! and me. So, everyone else's percentages were quite low, yet mine were quite high.

    So, i'm feeling deflated, cried on my way home because i knew that this would happen. They have been battling providing difficult child with-services since day 1. Now it will happen.

    So, my friend said based on my extensive private testing stating all her diagnosis's in tons of doctor's and evaluations and neuropsychologist i have to fight to get them to see that. Yet to them their testing comes first. She told me if their results come back the way they did you are going to have a rough time getting her services and an iep or 504 for that matter.

    I've contacted several ppl at work to help me, no one can. WE have team meeting on friday so i'm going in alone. me, and 7 school staff all of which will be saying difficult child doesnt' qualify.

    Than next september will come, she will crash, and i'll have to begin the process all over again.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't trust the diagnosis. of a school district...EVER.

    If they won't take your private evaluation seriously, I'd call The Dept. of Public Education. That's what we did. That worked fast. The school district had to take the private evaluation seriously. We had an Advocate and were ready to go to meditation. Don't let them blame you and gang up on you.

    I have a rule: Never go to an IEP meeting or a school meeting without my Advocate. I would postpone the meeting, and make sure I had an Advocate with me. You can find them for free through your State Dept. of Education.

    Never go alone. Your child won't get any help. Refuse to sign anything until your Advocate says it's fair. We never sign anything without taking it home and mulling over it for two weeks first. We get what we want for our kids. We've learned where to go for REAL help. You have to trump the SD.
  3. WSM

    WSM New Member

    How do you get an advocate?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The SD NEVER tells you about Advocates. They hate them because they know the laws of the state and make big trouble for SD's that try to pull fast ones on parents.

    Just call your State Dept. of Public Education (usually located at the state capitol) and ask for the Special Needs Dept. Then ask who your free school advocate is. Make an appointment. Never go to any school meeting without one. EVER. They prey on the ignorance and fear of meeker parents. Don't let them do that. The Dept. of Public Education is over them and can make them behave. You have more rights than you think, but meek parents get nowhere, at least not in the U.S. You don't have to argue with them. Just call the Dept. of Education. We did that without telling them we were going to do it and we let THEM talk to the school district for us, which they were willing to do once they heard what we had to say. Our Advocate is great. The SD's are seriously unhappy when she comes with us because she will question them and say, "That's not right" and point out where the law is on our side. They don't like parents who come prepared. Unfortunately, it is hard or next to impossible to get anywhere with a stubborn SD on your own. I never try anymore.
  5. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Flashbacks here. I couldn't even get all the way through your post.

    When my difficult child was in the 3rd grade, the guidance counselor told me that "difficult child doesn't have a problem, Heather. You do." I still tell that to every person in the SD that I come in contact with; even MR/daughter (you know, the ones that qualified her for services based on her diagnosis) because I *know* they have a lot of involvement with that school.

    This makes me so bleeping angry. ARGGHHHHHH!!! :nono:

    Get. an. advocate. NOW!!!

    I knew *nothing* about the IEP process at the time and my reaction was to pull her out of the school and homeschool via the online school. I was *not* having my child around that woman. Had I known then what I do now, I would have fought like hades.

    With an SD like that, we don't need enemies.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Schools are not qualified to diagnose. Period. If you have a medical doctor (that includes a psychiatrist, which equals a medical degree) stating that difficult child has diagnosis X, they HAVE to accept that information and act on it accordingly. You might let them know that you'll be seeking outside counsel on this matter and that it is NOT a done deal. Grrrr. :mad:
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi guys!

    Thanks, and yup i know it's insane. funny thing is i'm an advocate, yet i have no clue what i'm doing with-this one only because iv'e never been to an initial evaluation meeting for eligibility before.

    so i've called a few ppl from work to assist and i'm waiting on call backs from them. a parent member from the board has offerred to come with me, she's a personal friend.

    i have decided what i'm giong to do is make a presentation, i'm giong to print up documentation on bipolar from the nami website and a few other credible sites and make copies for the entire room. than i'm going to do a graph thing, tmrw i'm heading up to the school to get copies of difficult child's last years' report card (i can't find it since the move), and i'm also going to get copies of the nurses log along with-copies of all our team meetings from last year.

    it states on several websites that just because difficult child is feeling ok now due to the medications and therapy doesn't mean she wont' crash again.

    wish me luck, this is giong to be rough.

    if anyone has any ideas meanwhile i'd be more than happy to hear them.

    it sickens me that kids dont' get the services they need. it shouldnt' be. my particular school district stinks.

    my friend also told me I can table the meeting at any point that i feel i'm losing control so as not to get a result i do not want
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yes gvcmom i'm giong to bring another letter from her pyschdoc stating that she has BiPolar (BP) and anxiety disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and him stating the importance of her having an iep in place. the joke will be when she crashes next september as she always does and than evryone will look to me to figure out what to do to fix it
  9. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    What types of specific supports/interventions do you feel difficult child needs. Are you thinking that she has a learning disability or in need of services due to social emotional issues? Does she require specific academic interventions? This will be very important when discussing educational impact. Is your child able to access instruction and learning? How much of the school day is your child unavailable for learning due bipolar issues?"

    Collecting the data sounds like a good plan.

    It can be really hard to get an IEP when a child is meeting grade level expectations. What about a 504?

    Good luck.
  10. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    My difficult child met and even exceeded grade level expectations. However, her anxiety was/is so severe that there was huge school refusal and no class participation. Which equals educational impact.
  11. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    Have you read "The Bipolar Child?" It's an amazing book. I read it when my now 9th grader was in 2nd grade and the moron principal diagnosed him with it. I had a bipolar boyfriend for 7 years (he is not difficult child's father) and I know and understand it. If I thought for one second my child was BiPolar (BP), I would be in there getting medications and fighting for him. My son's issue was anxiety due to perfectionism. I used the book to disprove a presumptive diagnosis, you can certainly use it to show that BiPolar (BP) exists. If there's a family hx, that makes it even stronger.

    NONE of the people at your CSE is qualified to diagnosis bipolar. If your child is truly bipolar, she is entitled to a classification even if she is being maintained fairly well on medications. The SD is required to give you a handout with your rights - read it to see what you can do if you disagree. Just remember, that you must exhaust your administrative remedies before going forward to court and that you must participate in the mandated mediation.

    By the way, you can be just doing fine on the tests even being on grade level and still qualify. My son's IQ is 137, he is above grade level in everything but spelling and he is still qualified due to his anxiety which keeps him from being a straight A student in everything as that would be the expectation for a child of his intellect.

    Keep up the good fight.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry this is such a battle for you. Just doesn't seem right. Shine up that warrior armor and keep on going. Hugs.
  13. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey Jen!

    Parent to Parent of NYS will be a great place to start

    this is the long island office.

    Now: you are right to have a plan of action. Make sure that you have a typed up list of what services you want and why - just list what you want and bullet points under each one.

    Make sure that no matter what, you know the law. (Even if you're faking it!).

    MAKE SURE THAT YOU DO NOT SIGN THE IEP IN THE MEETING!!!!! Tell them that you're going to read it over, make notes and will send it back in in a couple of days. Let's face it, you may not be able to get someone there at work to come with you, but you can waggle it under some noses when you get back to the office. You're also going to be holding your emotions in check - it's too much to think about in one fell swoop.

    Make sure that you keep in mind that they're considering their budget. YOU ARE NOT CONCERNED WITH THEIR BUDGET! Your only goal is to get what you want for your daughter.

    As I think of other "snippets" I'll write them down, but this was my primary line o' thought!

  14. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Remember, it doesn't matter how well she is doing in her classes. What matters is what it is costing her to do that well. Why should she have to suffer so much to reach those goals when services are available to help her succeed without the struggles?
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I wish I was surprised by the school's "findings". I am not. i have a feeling they will fight you tooth and nail.

    Go and buy a copy of The Bipolar Child NOW if you do not already have one. Ask the psychiatrist and therapist EXACTLY what accomodations she needs. Less homework, more time on assignments, a teacher or aide to help her stay organized and bring all the work and books home for homework? (remember that a child should NEVER carry more than 15-20% of their bodyweight in their backpack, so a set of books for home might be needed).

    Whateever happens, do NOT go into any meeting with-o someone to support you. If nothing else they can take notes. Have what YOU want written down. Ask for MORE than you want so you have a few things to "give" on.

    Call the State Dept of Ed and ask about advocates, go to the Bipolar Child book AND (or .org, not sure) and do research there.

    The school can SAY she doesn't have bipolar but they are NOT medical doctors. What they say and a buck seventy five will get you a cup of coffee.

    Do NOT let them bully you. They WILL try, as they already have.

    SIGN NOTHING except the paper that says you are in attendance at the meeting. Returen the signed IEP when YOU feel it is satisfactory. NOT before.

    I am sorry they are such jerks.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    No matter how much you bring them, expect them to continue to BS you about how he doesn't meet the requirements blah, blah, blah. I hope it's different for you, but his never worked for me. They just kept saying "no." Our Spec. Ed Director would talk in circles to me until I felt like taking a bottle of Excederin for a MASSIVE headache. He was really trying to throw me off track. Finally I made him talk to the Advocate.

    Get an advocate. Don't try to do this yourself. They have a $$$ investment in not giving your child services.

    Good luck.
  17. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi guys

    thanks so much, i just woke up and saw all these great responses. I appreciate all the ideas and Beth thanks for the links!

    I got up early today, made difficult child pancakes, going to grab a shower and start my search for documents........

    i'm writing letter requesting nurse logs from last year and this year. i'm heading to district office, than i'm asking for all the other doctor's. If they can't provide them i'm postponing meeting.

    their supposed to give me test results 7 days prior to meeting by law i found out, so they messed up already.

    im going to do everything in my power to show she needs an iep. if need be i'll go to local paper as an anonymous parent from the school. i'm tired of this school and their bs.

    Found some great stuff last night an iep for kids with BiPolar (BP) from papolos even when kids are doing well. Their acting like difficult child is maintaining right now because it's just a fluke, hello the kids is medicated and in therapy and their are accomodations at home! She has supports in place as she should.

    the fact that the school pysch who is new by the way said that to me burns my butt and makes me angry and that's good because that will be my driving force now
  18. DramaQueenLucy

    DramaQueenLucy New Member

    Good Morning and good luck! You can do this! I have difficult child 2 IEP meeting this morning. The school doesn't like me right now and I don't I am walking in there with difficult child 2 caseworker and his in home care provider. They don't want to put Occupational Therapist (OT) in place at school and wouldn't even test him for it but I had a private evaluation done and yeah he needs it and yeah they will provide it, like it or not. The school has all these people, school psychiatric, school Occupational Therapist (OT), head of Special Education for the distract, all 4 teachers, school councilor & principal coming to the meeting, a way to intimidate me, nope didn't work and I am taking my own support staff with me....hehehehe
  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I fought for 3 years for an IEP. The very first meeting I walked in with an advocate - it was granted.

    Don't cause yourself undue stress. They will push as far and as hard as they can to NOT give services so just go right to the advocate so you do not loss your mind with worry and stress.
  20. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm working on it, thanks! Lucy good luck at your meeting, hope all goes well.

    i'm just going through all my doctor's. i have several letters from doctors stating that due to difficult child's diagnosis's she qualifies for an iep.

    I'm just going to bring that, along with-the nurse log's and the team meeting copies with me as well.

    its great on the neuropsychologist states how she is failing, etc. that was last year when she was depressed before the seroquel. so it states academically she's tanking as well as the importance of the iep along with-certain provisions put in place.

    if they dont' give me it i'm just going to threaten them with going public to the newspaper.