Guidance seeker
Active Member
I haven’t posted as much this last week as I felt embarrassed at how much we help our son, I really admire how strong some people are on here and I feel that when it comes to my son, I feel very weak.
My son’s life is more stable this week as he is now in a rented flat as opposed to being completely homeless. Within 2 days of moving in, he was beaten up while walking out of his door - a case of mistaken identity - his attacker apparently felt bad about it and gave him some items of furniture and they “did a few lines together”!! (God give me strength).
My son got his benefits paid and bought trainers but blew a lot on expensive ornaments and pictures for his flat, he has no concept of budgeting and prioritising money. Last night, he had 3 friends round (his friends take advantage of him and he wasn’t going to tell them where he lived), his benefits are all gone - my guess is that he provided the cocaine for them last night.
We had been giving my son a bit of money each day for food, bus fare etc but have ended up getting food on top of that. I feel we should stop the money . We have decided that we will still provide food for now, he was given a microwave so he can re-heat meals. The money has to stop or he will never learn to budget.
My fears are that if we don’t give the money, he will become more involved in crime - but he was involved in stealing when he was getting money anyway. I spent an afternoon as his appropriate adult last week while he was interviewed by the the police about theft from a car.
I also fear he may come round here and demand money - we have a restraining order so would have to call the police but I have horrible memories of him coming round when we first put him out and police dogs etc being in our back garden and four police vans on the front - we live in a quiet street where everyone knows everyone and nothing ever happens so it was horribly embarrassing.
He has threatened me before with smashing all of my conservatory windows or burgling my house and these threats are always in the back of my mind.
Also, my husband goes to see him and take his food. My son can be so embarrassing and abusive that I worry that my husband will be put through that. I know the answer is for my husband not to go but we both worry about my son managing and really he should be in supported accommodation in our opinion but is still being assessed for this.
My son’s life is more stable this week as he is now in a rented flat as opposed to being completely homeless. Within 2 days of moving in, he was beaten up while walking out of his door - a case of mistaken identity - his attacker apparently felt bad about it and gave him some items of furniture and they “did a few lines together”!! (God give me strength).
My son got his benefits paid and bought trainers but blew a lot on expensive ornaments and pictures for his flat, he has no concept of budgeting and prioritising money. Last night, he had 3 friends round (his friends take advantage of him and he wasn’t going to tell them where he lived), his benefits are all gone - my guess is that he provided the cocaine for them last night.
We had been giving my son a bit of money each day for food, bus fare etc but have ended up getting food on top of that. I feel we should stop the money . We have decided that we will still provide food for now, he was given a microwave so he can re-heat meals. The money has to stop or he will never learn to budget.
My fears are that if we don’t give the money, he will become more involved in crime - but he was involved in stealing when he was getting money anyway. I spent an afternoon as his appropriate adult last week while he was interviewed by the the police about theft from a car.
I also fear he may come round here and demand money - we have a restraining order so would have to call the police but I have horrible memories of him coming round when we first put him out and police dogs etc being in our back garden and four police vans on the front - we live in a quiet street where everyone knows everyone and nothing ever happens so it was horribly embarrassing.
He has threatened me before with smashing all of my conservatory windows or burgling my house and these threats are always in the back of my mind.
Also, my husband goes to see him and take his food. My son can be so embarrassing and abusive that I worry that my husband will be put through that. I know the answer is for my husband not to go but we both worry about my son managing and really he should be in supported accommodation in our opinion but is still being assessed for this.