Grandma Wrote a Letter

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Oct 14, 2009.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    Manster's grandma was pretty upset about the incident. We've both decided to let it go and help him figure out some choices for dealing with this and to help empower him to know he can handle himself. But in the meantime, wow, just read her letter. I cut out the names to protect the innocent :).

    Thank you all for your continuing support.


    I would like to bring to your attention a situation that needs to be addressed, as I believe this is serious enough that it is a form of bullying, as stated in the K Elementary handbook. “Exclusion of a child is a form of bullying.”

    I am the grandmother of a 5th grade student, _____. Yesterday, manster came home from school and described his experience as “the worst day of my life”. Apparently, there is a group of children who are involved in a school production of a newspaper. Only the day before manster was so excited about being part of this group, and was pleased to be the “delivery boy”. He said he also would be writing articles for this paper. I encouraged him and was so proud of him. He was not the least bit embarrassed about being the “delivery boy” and was so happy to do this.

    As manster described what happened, he told me he was excluded from the group by a boy named N, whom manster considered his friend. Upon further questioning, he said that N excluded him from the little meeting because he was not part of this group; he was just the “delivery boy”.

    This is an issue that caused tremendous hurt and embarrassment to a child with a good heart and no maliciousness in his soul. I would hope that as a leader in education that you would use this situation as a teaching tool to halt this form of bullying by exposing this incident (names need not be used) to bring this kind of behavior under control.

    Also, I question the leadership of this little group. Is there a teacher at the helm, or are these children allowed to run the show on their own and include a child one day and exclude him the next day?

    manster’s mom and I will continue to teach him that it is not okay to hurt another person with words or alienation and I am sure he will get passed this in time and learn from his experience that all is not fair in this world…. Innocence lost.

    I have written this to apprise you of the possible “bullying” situation present at K elementary with the sincerest hope you will consider this as a “teaching” opportunity to let the children know that their actions have consequences and that other children will most certainly feel the effects of this type of behavior. I also believe that N’s parents should be made aware of his unkind behavior.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Grandma is a very effective writer. I hope the principal responds appropriately. She asked some of my questions, such as what adult is supervising this "newspaper", and why this was not dealt with as a form of bullying.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a nice letter. I'll be very interested in hearing SD's response.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    It was a letter we will never send.

    Also, this story has a happy ending. One of the kids involved had actually stood up for manster and I had called his mom, who I have always liked, to praise her son's character. My guess is he may have spoken to the other boy because today he actually apologized and hired him back... and promoted him. Manster was on top of the world tonight. He said N said to him "I didn't realize it was so important to you."

    It renewed my faith in these kids and I'm glad I told my mom to hold back and let's us use this as an opportunity to teach manster how to take care of himself in difficult situations.

    So life is good, until the next crisis. Hugs, ML
  5. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    What fantastic news!

    It IS a great letter, but it is even better that the kids worked it out among themselves.
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I think in a lot of cases: where you are talking rejection as opposed to bullying, you are not doing the child any favors by intervening.

    Sooner or later they are going to have to work their way into some sort of niche in the world. Rejection is part of that learning process.

    I am glad that Manster also got to see the good side of at least one kid.