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The Watercooler
Grandpa, Kids, Dad, Sister, Health, Neighbors....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654068" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Assisted living IS t he answer. That's where he can get the best care. You can't give him the best care no matter what you do, even if you devote yourself to him 24/7. What we want isn't always in our best interests and should not hurt our loved ones.</p><p></p><p>Your dad is sick due to his choices. That doesn't make him less sick, but you can't care for him either. He also needs perhaps assisted living or at least a home health care person to come in and see to his needs.</p><p></p><p>Your kids need you. They are just starting out and need a mother. Grandpa and Dad don't need a mother anymore.</p><p></p><p>You are important and deserve a break from trying to take care of people you can't possibly adequately care for. You are allowing yourself, like I did, to be the family scapegoat. Don't wait as long as me.</p><p></p><p>I do have to say that by the time my mom got brain cancer, I let my sister do all the work. Mom never liked me. Sister was hot and cold with me. Neither really did squat for me and I live in another state. Not going to forget my family to help take care of a woman who literally did not think of me as her daughter. I had no guilt. By then I had learned. I wish I'd learned at your age, my cyber-daughter. Hang in there. I care. We all care. We are always here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654068, member: 1550"] Assisted living IS t he answer. That's where he can get the best care. You can't give him the best care no matter what you do, even if you devote yourself to him 24/7. What we want isn't always in our best interests and should not hurt our loved ones. Your dad is sick due to his choices. That doesn't make him less sick, but you can't care for him either. He also needs perhaps assisted living or at least a home health care person to come in and see to his needs. Your kids need you. They are just starting out and need a mother. Grandpa and Dad don't need a mother anymore. You are important and deserve a break from trying to take care of people you can't possibly adequately care for. You are allowing yourself, like I did, to be the family scapegoat. Don't wait as long as me. I do have to say that by the time my mom got brain cancer, I let my sister do all the work. Mom never liked me. Sister was hot and cold with me. Neither really did squat for me and I live in another state. Not going to forget my family to help take care of a woman who literally did not think of me as her daughter. I had no guilt. By then I had learned. I wish I'd learned at your age, my cyber-daughter. Hang in there. I care. We all care. We are always here for you. [/QUOTE]
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