OK so as I am sure you are aware my difficult child got grounded big time for drinking under age. So this weekend my parents asked if they could come up on Sunday and return her contacts that she had left there. I thought it was stupid to drive 5 hours round trip to return contacts that cost $35 a box but I thought maybe they were going to talk to her about her behavior. So they arrived and brought dinner stuff and all that and everything was fine until I noticed the bag of stuff they gave difficult child. I noticed there was a brand new pair of Nike's still in a box. Now I knew they had ordered them before Christmas and that they had been delayed in shipping but the difficult child did not know they existed. What I didn't know was the price or that they had actually arrived. Why would you show up three days after your grandaughter gets busted by the cops and give her a gift? Seriously they paid $220 for these shoes which is ridiculous in the first place. They know she is grounded and they know how upset I am with her yet they show up with these shoes and act like nothing has happened. I didn't say anything because this is just the norm with them. My father actually laughed about the whole drinking thing and said well atleast she handed over her keys and wasn't driving. Thats a common thread throughout difficult child's life. She does something stupid and grandaddy makes it ok. I don't think he intentionally does it but he is always super supportive of her and doesn't get upset with her about things she does. It makes me out to be the enemy and the mean one at all times since I am the one punishing and he is the one blowing it all off. It's not like I want him to hate her or make her feel like $hit it is just that I would like for him and my mom to acknowledge that some things are not acceptable and that my consequences are real. I realize these were supposed to be a Christmas gift so they probably didn't think about it but they could have asked me first. I would have suggested they let her know they had them but that until she was over her grounding she was not allowed to have them. Any advice? I have never been able to get them to understand this before so it is unlikely I will get them to now but atleast I can say I tried.