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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 763004" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>Gna, we just packed up my 21 year old son’s belongings and in fact, threw away many things because I no longer want to be a repository for his belongings when he has no desire to live a life where he will be able to manage them on his own. We donated his clothes and worthwhile belongings to Goodwill. </p><p></p><p>This is after he has been out of the home for 3 years, failed three residential drug treatment programs, lived on the streets, been in jail and is now living with his screwed up birth family in another state. He will never live in our home again. We too, put up with punched holes in walls and doors, items being broken and thrown and my husband having to patch and re-patch walls more times than I care to count (son had to help patch them when he lived here).</p><p></p><p>One thing we did right after he left was to completely re-do his bedroom (after AGAIN patching walls and replacing doors) and made it into a guest bedroom. It helped signify to me that my son wouldn’t be living here ever again. It brought me peace and I love that room now. At that time we had boxed up his belongings, assuming that someday he would have a place of his own but after 3 years, I don’t see that happening and we’re tired of holding onto his stuff.</p><p></p><p>None of the stuff is really that important anyway. I sent him his birth certificate and important papers. He has been homeless so many times and had his belongings stolen or left them somewhere in a drunken or stoned haze. If he were in charge of the items we were holding for him, they would have the same fate, I believe.</p><p></p><p>I’m with you—Pack it up! You don’t have to get rid of it yet, but if he will no longer be allowed to live in your home, what is the point of keeping it around? At least this way, it will be already boxed up for him if he gets a place of his own someday.</p><p></p><p>It helped me a lot to make that hard decision, Wishing you peace in whatever you decide.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 763004, member: 23742"] Gna, we just packed up my 21 year old son’s belongings and in fact, threw away many things because I no longer want to be a repository for his belongings when he has no desire to live a life where he will be able to manage them on his own. We donated his clothes and worthwhile belongings to Goodwill. This is after he has been out of the home for 3 years, failed three residential drug treatment programs, lived on the streets, been in jail and is now living with his screwed up birth family in another state. He will never live in our home again. We too, put up with punched holes in walls and doors, items being broken and thrown and my husband having to patch and re-patch walls more times than I care to count (son had to help patch them when he lived here). One thing we did right after he left was to completely re-do his bedroom (after AGAIN patching walls and replacing doors) and made it into a guest bedroom. It helped signify to me that my son wouldn’t be living here ever again. It brought me peace and I love that room now. At that time we had boxed up his belongings, assuming that someday he would have a place of his own but after 3 years, I don’t see that happening and we’re tired of holding onto his stuff. None of the stuff is really that important anyway. I sent him his birth certificate and important papers. He has been homeless so many times and had his belongings stolen or left them somewhere in a drunken or stoned haze. If he were in charge of the items we were holding for him, they would have the same fate, I believe. I’m with you—Pack it up! You don’t have to get rid of it yet, but if he will no longer be allowed to live in your home, what is the point of keeping it around? At least this way, it will be already boxed up for him if he gets a place of his own someday. It helped me a lot to make that hard decision, Wishing you peace in whatever you decide. [/QUOTE]
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