Great mtng with-therapist last night

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Mar 27, 2013.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    difficult child told therapist about his extended probation. He stated it simply, and the dr said he was very sorry to hear that and it was discouraging and upsetting ... and after he talked a few min., he asked difficult child why he got back into spice. difficult child said, "I didn't. I think it was a false positive."
    The fact that difficult child sat there and didn't interrupt him, and was so calm is nothing short of a miracle. I think that part of it is the depakote.
    difficult child spoke his piece, and twice had to stop, put his hand to his chest, inhale and exhale deeply, compose himself, and then continue. I was so proud of him!
    Then he asked to be alone with-the therapist for a min so I left the room. That drives me nuts! I waited about 3 hrs after we got home and then casually mentioned it to him ... and he said it had nothing to do with-drugs, just something he didn't feel he could discuss with-me. That leaves one topic ... :) I'm guessing he asked the therapist a question regarding him and his girlfriend. Sigh. Scary ... she does not have much guidance at home and difficult child is the one gathering info. I do not want a grandchild right now!
    Later, husband talked to me and said he wants to go with-difficult child to the PO mtng and have his urine tested too, because they are taking the same supplements, lots of stuff that is mixed with-melatonin. Wow. husband immediately assumed the worst, and now, because difficult child's behavior is so good, he's beginning to trust him.
    We have often told difficult child that actions speak louder than words. I think he's learning!
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good news - fingers crossed for continued steps in the right direction.

    I am curious about something though - you mention that difficult child asked you to leave so he could speak with therapist. I am surprised, unless this is family counseling, that you stay there with difficult child. I would think he will be a lot more open if he were to sit with the therapist alone. My difficult child spent the majority of the allotted time, at least 80%, alone with the therapist since he was a young boy. If there were something she felt I needed to know, like safety issues or something we needed to work on together, she would speak with me about it. But that time was really for difficult child. I remember, when he was really little saying, "Dr. J said everyone needs someone to talk to." I think it actually made him more receptive to talk therapy because he saw her as an ally not an extension of me. But, if this is family therapy, it's a mute point!

    Again, good to hear about his positive forward motion recently!


  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    On the surface that sounds great! I don't know...about the talking alone. I wouldn't jump to conclusions unnecessarily. I've had them do it both ways. One of the times middle difficult child pulled a stunt like that it was so benign it wasn't funny. The psychiatrist didn't tell me what she said directly but I was told indirectly by the case manager, who was told by the psychiatrist. I know you don't have that kind of connection for it to trickle down to know what was said unfortunately.

    His behavior is holding, which is good.

    I really hope this is going to continue and you've turned a corner. :)
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We've asked difficult child repeatedly if he wants us to stay in there with-him and he usually says "Yes," or "I don't care."
    The fact that he asked me to leave even for a little bit is good because he is developing his assertiveness. In a good way. :) Not the pushy, screaming, spitting kid he used to be. :)
    We start the conversation going and then it just goes on from there.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I never went in with q. He would have never let me, lol. It's great you're following his lead. Maybe thus is a sign he will want to do more. Especially if he sees that this little time went well and he can trust the therapist to keep his confidences.

    He does sound like he is responding well to the Depakote. Lord, please let thus be one he can take long term!
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Terry, I haven't really commented on the drug tests. Personally I trust zero drug tests that are done by any lab that does not specalize in only doing drug tests. there is a good reason for this. A few years ago, maybe four or five, I got really sick. I had a migraine, and then a flu type virus hit and I could not keep medications down. I was on the highest dose of lyrica (a seizure medication used for nerve pain) and went cold turkey on it and on the pain medications that I had taken for two years at that time. I was taking a LOT of phenergan due to the migraine and virus. I had a seizure and lost 3 days of my life. I won't get them back or know really what happened. I apparently spent the first two days moaning in pain incoherently. When I gained my senses they accused me of binging on meth.

    I have not taken illegal drugs ever, nor taken my medications inappropriately. I am super careful and rather Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) about how I take my medications. No one at the hospital called either my primary care doctor or my pain doctor. THis was the hospital doctor's call. She NEVER spoke to me, not even during the 36 hrs she made me stay in the hospital after I regained consciousness. I was told I had to be evaluated by people from our local free mental health center and could not call my docs or my psychiatrist or my therapist. I was told that ANY attempt to contact them to get them to give info to the doctor or MH people would be seen as an admission of my addiction and my children would be taken from me. I was TERRIFIED by these people that they would take my children. It was AWFUL.

    Two weeks after I was released I saw my pain doctor. He was ****** and started finding info on the hospital doctor. Seems her private practice was in ruins due to her incompetence and her only patients were those who came to the hospital and were not allowed to contact their doctors. He looked at the hospital lab results on the drug tests and saw clear evidence that zero meth showed up in my system. That positive meth result was in fact a positive for phenergan and benadryl. WHen the test is done improperly, the results look like meth until you look at the way the test was done, then it is clearly NOT a result that indicated meth use.

    He cautioned me against EVER having that lab do a drug test. Said to refer ANYONE including law enforcement to him and he would do any testing they wanted. His preferred lab, one in Dallas, does NOTHING other than drug tests. They do a LOT of them for law enforcement all over the country. But results are not immediate and cost a bit more than most because of this. He said that due to all the supplements people take, and the variety of foods that mpact drug tests, it is important to only have drug tests done by labs that do nothing else. Other labs don't know enough about what they are doing and they end up with a huge rate of false positives. Some of the info he gave me showed that there are MANY people in jail/prison for drug use who never used a drug but got a bad test or a test done by a bad lab. THe rate of error of false positives is enormously high and NO ONE in legal circles wants to talk about it or admit it.

    I am sure the PO would tell you that it isn't possible to have a false positive. I have had LOTS of cops and doctors tell me this. I have also seen the statistics from the types of tests and from our local hospital's lab and from the lab my doctor uses and I will NOT agree to a tox/drug screen done by our hospital ever again. First, I know some of their lab people. I wouldn't trust them to follow a recipe, or to wash their hands. I knew some from candystriping in the hospital, others from going Occupational Therapist (OT) school with them or having kids in the same classes with theirs. No way would my life be in their careless, badly educated hands. I know two of them flunked out of college and the lab director lied about his masters cause he doesn't have one. They do a LOT of tests for the city and county police. I know a few defense attorneys and their stories about the reliability of the hospital lab are scary. The hospital has repeatedly failed accreditation reviews, etc... and is constantly on probation for procedural and sanitation and contamination problems. So they are not trustworthy.

    Unless you know the lab is run properly (and more are not than are) and things are done according to certain standards, ALL results are suspect. Even when everything is done right, there is still a very real chance that a false positive can occur.

    So I would put my belief in difficult child's actions, not his words or some test done by people you cannot talk to and a lab you cannot confirm or deny the practices of.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Whew. What an AWFUL doctor! I would have sued. I know you were tired and just wanted to be rid of it all, but she needs to be OUT of the system forever.
    And by the way, there was no lab. It was a cheap strip test, right in the men's restroom, like an at-home pregnancy test. difficult child saw the colors and they did not match, but they weren't quite as obvious as the picture on the directions, either, hence, the "questionable" results.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I sure would not trust those totally. You would be shocked at how many things break down and can register on those. It isn't like a preg test at ALL. Drugs are chemicals and are metabolized and broken down into other things. Those strips pick up all sorts of things as what they are testing.

    And that doctor DID need to be removed. And she lost her license. Seems that all her patients, who came through the ER because no one would go to her in her private practice, were drug users. Total transference because reality was that most didn't even have a drug test done, and she got caught with a nasty mix of drugs in her locker. NOT a good thing when you are high while you treat people. esp when you treat them badly enough that they complain!
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Absolutely. I hope she is working for the city public waste program, driving a truck now. :)