Greatest fear comes to life

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Abbey, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Supposedly he is living in a 'sober house.' He has to pay to live there so is doing day labor jobs. He calls husband every few days, but I have yet to speak with him. Every time he calls he asks for money...I do know that. As far as I know, husband has not sent him any.

    If he's being truthful, it sounds like he is at least trying, but I need to see a more significant period of time go by before I start to let my guard down.

  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I hear ya there!! You will know when you feel comfortable enough with his progress.
  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Better that he doesn't have the extra money...

    Hoping you and husband can stay strong....

    TYLERFAN New Member

    I wanted to send you Hugs and support.
    I have no good advice but you seem very in control of what you can and can not do regarding difficult child. I am glad you are protecting yourself from difficult child's antics. I hope someday he is able to find the right path.

    Melissa :smile:
  5. kris

    kris New Member

    <font color="purple">abbey, years ago husband ran away from home....disappeared for about three weeks. i called his brother, an alcoholic in recovery, to see if he'd heard from husband. he said no, but that when he turns up send husband to him & he'd sober him up. i curtly told him it's not the getting sober that's the's the staying that way.

    my point, J has broken the trust so many times that it will take a long time ~~~ if ever ~~~ before you can even start to trust in his *recovery*. if he's always trying to mooch money of your husband the signs are not positive that he is making a true effort to live a clean & sober life.

    i'm sorry, hon. i wish i could be more encouraging about this. you have given up more than anyone should to help J & it's all come to nothing. he needs to man up & do this on his own if he's going to do it at all. i know, i know....i'm preaching to the choir & it's husband that needs convincing.

    i think of you often.

    kris </font>
  6. StepMomLMP

    StepMomLMP New Member

    Just wanted to add my support to you. I too made a similar statement to SO recently. I couldn't do it anymore and we'd reached the point of me leaving if other living arrangements for his son weren't made soon. Even packed my bags which totally freaked him out. Next day appts were made and progress started, he even finally applied for SS for his son. They have an appointment tomorrow with a facility that may be able to offer him help and assisted living.

    In no way have I been through anything like you have, but I knew when I'd reached my limit. I can give and give and give but if nothing is accomplished and noone wants to help themselves there is no point. I feel cold about it also but my sanity and happiness is worth something too. We can not give the attention and help to difficult child that he deserves and needs, it's time to find those that can. AND now SO is seeing that and doing something about it.

    My thoughts are with you every step you take.