Mikey
Psycho Gorilla Dad
Hi everyone from the "Happiest place on earth".
Well, not really.
Nothing bad happening. Just that I'm starting to really see just how much of a gulf there is between me and my son. We've been here for several days now, and while we've had moments of fun, overall it's been like two strangers sharing the same room.
Drove to the beach yesterday because difficult child wanted to "walk in the ocean". Drove over an hour to get there, I dive in and start swimming around only to see him walking away up the beach. WTF?
/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hot.gif
I finally caught up with him, and he said he just wanted to walk. I asked if I could walk with him, he shrugged his shoulders and went on. So we walked together for about an hour. Silently, much like two adjacent people in a crowd, not like a father and son enjoying being together at the beach. Left after about an hour and went back to the hotel.
We did go to Downtown Disney last night. That was fun, but only because of the big Virgin megastore there (spent two hours shopping for CD's).
Finally got over to the Hard Rock hotel today. It's what I thought would finally break the ice for us. I must have guessed wrong. Was looking forward to a fun afternoon by the pool, hanging out this evening listening to a live rock band while watching the fireworks with difficult child.
We weren't here more than an hour before he hooked up with another band of roving, unattended teens and disappeared. While he did answer his phone, I got the distinct impression that he'd had as much "Dad Time" as he could handle for a while, and needed a break. So I've spent most of the day by myself here at the hotel, except for the 15 minutes or so before the show and the show itself.
:thumbsdown:
He's now gone off with his newfound "friends" for a bit. He already asked if he could go to Citiwalk with them, and thought I was crazy when I said "NO!". After hours, that's an adult-oriented area, and there's no reason for a gang of underage teens to be hanging out over there. And I was also flabbergasted that he'd ask to spend the rest of the evening with kids he'd just met, when I'd done everything possible to set up some time for the two of us.
:grrr:
I guess I know now just how far the chasm is between us. While we still have another day here at the park, and the concert tomorrow night, all I want to do is go home. He doesn't want to be here with me, my wife and daughter are on the other side of the country in the backwoods where I can't even call them, and my other son is stuck by himself at home - and not much of a conversationalist. For the first time in a long time, I truly do feel totally alone.
I don't really know now what I hoped to gain from this trip. If nothing else, I'd hoped to keep him out of the situations that caused me so much stress while at home without wife around. But when he gets here, it takes almost no time for him to assemble a new posse to hang out with.
I'm just tired, depressed, and ready to give up. It really does suck to do everything you can to plan a trip that caters a person's every whim, and then find that it doesn't matter. What I know now is that the essential relationship isn't there. If it was, it wouldn't matter if we were in Orlando or Toledo (no offense to anyone living in that fine city).
But that connection isn't there, so even going to the "Happiest place on Earth" can't make something grow that just doesn't exist. My gut feeling is that we're done, and nothing else will happen between us until he's out of the house, on his own and has his own life (in whatever fashion that turns out to be).
I can see it more clearly now. Only after he's settled on his own path will I be able to figure out what kind of relationship we can have. Until then, I guess it will be more of the same of what I've had so far: fleeting periods of fun and happiness overshadowed by mostly grey, stressful days while he figures out his own life.
:crazy:
Well, one more day and I go home. Four days after that, wife finally comes home. After that? Who knows. Right now, I'm just trying to digest the reality that I've only now come to realize.
I'll post more when I can, or when I get back home.
Mikey
Well, not really.
Nothing bad happening. Just that I'm starting to really see just how much of a gulf there is between me and my son. We've been here for several days now, and while we've had moments of fun, overall it's been like two strangers sharing the same room.
Drove to the beach yesterday because difficult child wanted to "walk in the ocean". Drove over an hour to get there, I dive in and start swimming around only to see him walking away up the beach. WTF?
/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hot.gif
I finally caught up with him, and he said he just wanted to walk. I asked if I could walk with him, he shrugged his shoulders and went on. So we walked together for about an hour. Silently, much like two adjacent people in a crowd, not like a father and son enjoying being together at the beach. Left after about an hour and went back to the hotel.
We did go to Downtown Disney last night. That was fun, but only because of the big Virgin megastore there (spent two hours shopping for CD's).
Finally got over to the Hard Rock hotel today. It's what I thought would finally break the ice for us. I must have guessed wrong. Was looking forward to a fun afternoon by the pool, hanging out this evening listening to a live rock band while watching the fireworks with difficult child.
We weren't here more than an hour before he hooked up with another band of roving, unattended teens and disappeared. While he did answer his phone, I got the distinct impression that he'd had as much "Dad Time" as he could handle for a while, and needed a break. So I've spent most of the day by myself here at the hotel, except for the 15 minutes or so before the show and the show itself.
:thumbsdown:
He's now gone off with his newfound "friends" for a bit. He already asked if he could go to Citiwalk with them, and thought I was crazy when I said "NO!". After hours, that's an adult-oriented area, and there's no reason for a gang of underage teens to be hanging out over there. And I was also flabbergasted that he'd ask to spend the rest of the evening with kids he'd just met, when I'd done everything possible to set up some time for the two of us.
:grrr:
I guess I know now just how far the chasm is between us. While we still have another day here at the park, and the concert tomorrow night, all I want to do is go home. He doesn't want to be here with me, my wife and daughter are on the other side of the country in the backwoods where I can't even call them, and my other son is stuck by himself at home - and not much of a conversationalist. For the first time in a long time, I truly do feel totally alone.
I don't really know now what I hoped to gain from this trip. If nothing else, I'd hoped to keep him out of the situations that caused me so much stress while at home without wife around. But when he gets here, it takes almost no time for him to assemble a new posse to hang out with.
I'm just tired, depressed, and ready to give up. It really does suck to do everything you can to plan a trip that caters a person's every whim, and then find that it doesn't matter. What I know now is that the essential relationship isn't there. If it was, it wouldn't matter if we were in Orlando or Toledo (no offense to anyone living in that fine city).
But that connection isn't there, so even going to the "Happiest place on Earth" can't make something grow that just doesn't exist. My gut feeling is that we're done, and nothing else will happen between us until he's out of the house, on his own and has his own life (in whatever fashion that turns out to be).
I can see it more clearly now. Only after he's settled on his own path will I be able to figure out what kind of relationship we can have. Until then, I guess it will be more of the same of what I've had so far: fleeting periods of fun and happiness overshadowed by mostly grey, stressful days while he figures out his own life.
:crazy:
Well, one more day and I go home. Four days after that, wife finally comes home. After that? Who knows. Right now, I'm just trying to digest the reality that I've only now come to realize.
I'll post more when I can, or when I get back home.
Mikey