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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 56844" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Mikey,</p><p>I too am sorry things didn't go better but I think this could have happened with a easy child kid as well. Most teens don't really want to spend a lot of time with their parents. I remember going with my parents to the West coast of Florida when I was 17 and they basically were just a ride to me to get me to the beach. I wasn't really interested in spending time with them, just was happy to be in Florida and having guys notice me. As someone else said, please don't take it too personally.</p><p></p><p>You are right though about having to wait til he is older to get some appreciation. My difficult child 1 who is 19 now and I have a good relationship because she is no longer dependent on me at all. She has a job, her own apt. with boyfriend, her own life. We had quite the blow up a few months ago and I told her that I would no longer help her financially. Since then she has figured out how to take care of herself and now we get along fine. She is very nice to me and appreciative of any little thing I do but I don't do much. For some kids the more you do the more helpless and resentful they become.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad your wife and dtr will be home soon. I think you need to take your focus off your son and put it on the rest of your family, mostly on you and your wife. You guys need to be able to have a life separate from the kids. They should not have to be responsible for your happiness. I'm not sure why we baby boomer parents put so much emphasis on our kids and invest so much of ourselves in them. After all, they will grow up and go away and have their own lives and we will be left behind if we have invested all our hopes and dreams in them instead of finding our own lives. I don't write very well, hope this makes some sense.</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 56844, member: 3450"] Hi Mikey, I too am sorry things didn't go better but I think this could have happened with a easy child kid as well. Most teens don't really want to spend a lot of time with their parents. I remember going with my parents to the West coast of Florida when I was 17 and they basically were just a ride to me to get me to the beach. I wasn't really interested in spending time with them, just was happy to be in Florida and having guys notice me. As someone else said, please don't take it too personally. You are right though about having to wait til he is older to get some appreciation. My difficult child 1 who is 19 now and I have a good relationship because she is no longer dependent on me at all. She has a job, her own apt. with boyfriend, her own life. We had quite the blow up a few months ago and I told her that I would no longer help her financially. Since then she has figured out how to take care of herself and now we get along fine. She is very nice to me and appreciative of any little thing I do but I don't do much. For some kids the more you do the more helpless and resentful they become. I'm glad your wife and dtr will be home soon. I think you need to take your focus off your son and put it on the rest of your family, mostly on you and your wife. You guys need to be able to have a life separate from the kids. They should not have to be responsible for your happiness. I'm not sure why we baby boomer parents put so much emphasis on our kids and invest so much of ourselves in them. After all, they will grow up and go away and have their own lives and we will be left behind if we have invested all our hopes and dreams in them instead of finding our own lives. I don't write very well, hope this makes some sense. Thinking of you, Jane [/QUOTE]
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