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Grieving or obsession
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 11088" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Grief is like pain. We cannot know how that feels to the other person. Each of us needs to cope with our pain, or our grief, with whatever tools we have to do that. In other cultures, mourners are encouraged to wear black, or to cover the mirrors. They wear armbands, so that others will know they are grieving and thus, vulnerable. In our culture, we seem to want to shorten and sanitize the grieving process. No one knows how to "fix" it, and so they are uncomfortable with it. What I would say about this is that you are grieving much more than your mother's passing. You are grieving and so, actively processing, all that has been lost in the years just passed.</p><p></p><p>I think that needs to be honored.</p><p></p><p>If your husband is concerned, perhaps you should, in addition to watching the video as often as you like ~ all night, if that speaks to something within you ~ see a therapist. Not to rush you through the grieving process, but so that you can grieve completely, and well. </p><p></p><p>There will come a time when you are ready to put your grief away. </p><p></p><p>You may look back on the time of your grieving and regret the present moments lost to the grieving.</p><p></p><p>And that is when you will begin to heal, and to go on.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your pain, Linda.</p><p></p><p>Honor your grief. Listen to what those you love tell you, but know that your grieving process will take as long as it takes. You posted earlier about a piano recital. You seem to be looking forward to that. You have not posted that you had lost interest in either your music or the recital. Because that is true, it seems to me that, while your family may be concerned, you are grieving appropriately and well.</p><p></p><p>Have you thought about attending a grief support group?</p><p></p><p>You will learn there, I think, whether what you feel you need to do as you grieve your losses is appropriate.</p><p></p><p>You have been through so much, Linda.</p><p></p><p>Your husband must love you very much.</p><p></p><p>When I was overwhelmed by grief, I would promise myself a time alone to grieve. It got me through the days, through the things that I needed to do. More than once, those who love me suggested therapy or medications. What I needed was time to assimilate the loss, time to understand who I was, now that these things had happened and everything was changed.</p><p></p><p>It took a long time, but I did recover.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 11088, member: 3353"] Grief is like pain. We cannot know how that feels to the other person. Each of us needs to cope with our pain, or our grief, with whatever tools we have to do that. In other cultures, mourners are encouraged to wear black, or to cover the mirrors. They wear armbands, so that others will know they are grieving and thus, vulnerable. In our culture, we seem to want to shorten and sanitize the grieving process. No one knows how to "fix" it, and so they are uncomfortable with it. What I would say about this is that you are grieving much more than your mother's passing. You are grieving and so, actively processing, all that has been lost in the years just passed. I think that needs to be honored. If your husband is concerned, perhaps you should, in addition to watching the video as often as you like ~ all night, if that speaks to something within you ~ see a therapist. Not to rush you through the grieving process, but so that you can grieve completely, and well. There will come a time when you are ready to put your grief away. You may look back on the time of your grieving and regret the present moments lost to the grieving. And that is when you will begin to heal, and to go on. I am so sorry for your pain, Linda. Honor your grief. Listen to what those you love tell you, but know that your grieving process will take as long as it takes. You posted earlier about a piano recital. You seem to be looking forward to that. You have not posted that you had lost interest in either your music or the recital. Because that is true, it seems to me that, while your family may be concerned, you are grieving appropriately and well. Have you thought about attending a grief support group? You will learn there, I think, whether what you feel you need to do as you grieve your losses is appropriate. You have been through so much, Linda. Your husband must love you very much. When I was overwhelmed by grief, I would promise myself a time alone to grieve. It got me through the days, through the things that I needed to do. More than once, those who love me suggested therapy or medications. What I needed was time to assimilate the loss, time to understand who I was, now that these things had happened and everything was changed. It took a long time, but I did recover. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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