Grouchiness x a million

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nomad, Jul 7, 2018.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    She did it again. Our Difficult Child daughter can get very grouchy when stressed and (plus) around her brother (our bio child).
    She does not tend to act this way without this combination.

    Two years ago she did this (will describe below ) at Christmas and we told her she would not be able to come for Christmas to visit us again if we had a repeat and to our delight, she was better.

    Time passed. Decent and acceptable improvement with her visits...until fourth of July.

    So, we had a party for fourth of july and her brother and his family were there. She took the train to get to our house. We no longer live in the same city.

    She complained about everything. OMG. Some examples: the potato salad, the cake, her clothes, me not eating sweets, the kids making noise, the fact that our house isn't walking distance to any stores....a complaint probably every ten minutes for 3-4 days. After the party, our son said he would help clean and asked her if she would help him. She screamed at him and said "I have NOT had my nap!" She is 30 years old.

    When she left, she took a roll of toilet paper saying she ran out at home. Put it in her purse.

    Today she called early in the morning (she is forbidden to do this unless it is an emergency) saying that she had no toilet paper. She called so many times, my husband began to worry that it was an emergency and answered and was upset that it was about TP. WTH? She said she left it on the train. WTH? After that, he would not asnwer the phone. He texted her.

    WHAT in the world is this behavior? Manic plus something else? Also, any suggestions for what to say to you when she is in the middle of this negative tirade? They often start off with "I don't want to be negative, but that shirt looks terrible on you!" "I don't want to complain, but, no one likes this type of potato salad." You get the idea.

    My husband calmly explained to her the facts of life. He is her designated payee. He sent her some money for toilet paper and then told her that money would be subtracted from her weekly money later. She had a fit. She expected us to pay for the toilet paper. He ignored her and said calmly "no."

    She has these tendencies....BUT...if she is stressed AND around her brother it is exaggerated.

    Any suggestions? We will probably give her the speech again that this behavior is not acceptable and another event like this can and will result in not being invited to our house for awhile. But, I see, they can easily come back out of no where.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2018
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    Maybe she should have to skip a holiday. When she was told her behavior had to improve or she couldn't come she stepped up. If she continues to challenge your husband about money maybe a third party payee would have an effect.
     
  3. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Does she take medications regularly for the irritability and bipolar disorder? She might need her hormone levels checked also. Even at a young age, you can go through that. The thyroid can play a roll, too. When you combine all that with bipolar disorder, it's bad news.