Grrr-difficult child's bus driver

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Jan 10, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When we were leaving to drive home yesterday difficult child told me he hated his bus driver and then refused to say anything more. Then when we were leaving the grocery store he asked me if he has special problems (he knows some things but really doesn't get it) and then asked if he has an iep. He said his bus driver told him these things-not sure how the conversation started and he wouldn't elaborated other than to say the bus driver said he wouldn't be on that bus if he didn't have an iep. This is true but difficult child doesn't understand the IEP so we just told him because the bus came to my school (which was true) he was allowed to ride it.

    I know he is at the age where he needs to understand more but he doesn't and he is emotionally much younger than his age.

    I'm so mad! What right does the bus driver have to say things like that?:mad:
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    He doesn't have that right. Period. I'm angry right alongside you.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    GRRRRRRR! What a horrible person! He has NO BUSINESS commenting on anything like that to your son. Or anyone's son.

    Please go to the school principal, the transportation dept, the director of special services, AND the school superintendent with WRITTEN complaints about this!

    Gentle hugs for your son and you.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I don;t blame you for being upset- I think you should discuss this with someone. That bus driver was way out of line. I'm glad difficult child was at least comfortable enough to discuss it and ask you about it.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I would call the bus supervisor and let him know what occurred. This bus driver has no right to discuss these issues with your son (much less in front of other students).
  6. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    It's none of the driver's business WHY he's on the bus.......really! The bus service tells him his route and he drives it. That's all his job is. I would certainly call transpo and talk with- a supervisor. Then call the school and let them know of the situation. Technically, if this driver knows about an IEP, it's a breach of confidentiality.

    I'm still mad at the old transpo service. my son came home one day (mini bus, IEP services) and said that another kid on the bus had a knife. I immediately called transpo and the school to report it. My son didn't know this kid but aparantly they ahve assigned seats so someone would be able to id this other kid. I never heard anything from the school or transpo! For it to be a designated route (for IEP'd or elig. kids) then there shouldn't be incidences like this. For goodness sakes, there's an aide on each of those busses!

    Our difficult child's don't need any add'l stress and aggrivation.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'd be finding out what else was said. You don't dislike someone just because they tell you that you have an IEP. Or if he can't tell you, see if you can ask any other kdis on the bus, if they know what was said. Or talk to the other parents, in case other kids have had problems. It sounds like more is going on here.

    THEN I'd be writing the letter with all the ammunition I could get.

  8. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Wow. That bus driver is way out of line. What nerve!

    Phone call to driver's supervisor, the school principal, and whoever heads up Special Education at your school district.

    Frankly, I would have blown a gasket.
  9. cadydid

    cadydid New Member

    I do not even think angry would qualify what I would feel if someone told that to my son Livid.. possibly.. irate definitely..hacked off.. you better believe it.

    I think definitely contacting everyone that was mentioned is in order. If he said that to your son, who know what he may have said to another child.
  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    The NERVE. I'm angry too!
  11. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm mad!!! He has no business discussing anything like this, a teacher wouldn't even say this to a child, much less a BUS DRIVER. I was thinking along the same lines as Marg. In what context was this said? It sounds like it was derogatory, if your child says the bus driver is mean. What else is being said? Go to your childs case manager or social worker, as well as the principal, complain in wrinting. The transportation company won't do anything if you complain, but if the principal does, then they'll most likely take it to heart. There is a breach of confidentiality, and that stinks!-Alyssa
  12. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    What a jerk!
  13. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, I agree that it sounds as if more was said to make your difficult child "hate" the bus driver. I hope you can go to the appropriate officials to find out exactly what was said and then address it so it doesn't occur again. Poor difficult child!
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone-I really appreciate your support! -I'm still really upset about it and can't get much more out of difficult child which may mean he was being a stinker to someone else but still that doesn't excuse what the bus driver said. One other time when difficult child was picked up and didn't take the bus home she told him if that happened again he couldn't ride-(we were new to him taking the bus and had reported him absent to the school and asked them to pass the info. along). We were told by the supervisor she should never have said that.

    It's just a van but called a bus to the kids-only two kids ride difficult child's bus.

    As for difficult child "hating" the bus driver who knows? Any time someone doesn't agree with him he "hates" them! Still there had to be a reason this was said, and goodness knows my difficult child is no angel but I can't imagine a circumstance in which this would be o.k.

    I will start with phone calls and letters tomorrow.
  15. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Sharon-I would be livid too. I'd love to know the context in which the bus driver felt as though he had to share this information. He is certainly in no position to be having these types of conversations with difficult child

    However, as a special education teacher there have been several occasions when I let the kids know that they are working with me to get the extra help and support they need to be successful in school. At times I let them know that they are very distracted in the larger class and that I am there to help them better focus and/or work with them in smaller groups to either reteach the information presented in class and/or modify the work so that they are able to read on their own and/or provide read aloud or scribe support. I've told kids that they are smart however seem to have some difficult applying what they have learned and/or remembering this information the next day. In school the students are now often required to graph their personal growth as well as set up a graph which shows grade level expectations. Although I often modify the graph to show my students their own individual growth I do at times show them what is typically expected at their grade level since this is what grades are truly based upon. There have also been several occasions when I've noticed great improvements in a students work and when I let them know I'm impressed; they will inform me that they are now taking some type of medicine that helps them to concentrate and complete more work.

    I often remind my students that because of their individual learning issues they are allowed to request certain support in the classroom and during tests. As the students get older they really need to self-advocate for themselves to make sure their teachers are offering andallowing supports provided in the I guess I'm saying I let my students know they have iep's. I let my kids know that things are often harder for them compared to their classmates. Kids know they are different and I feel that when we allow ourselves to talk about these things they feel better and more relieved.

    I know I was just upset with my difficult child because he did not do that well on his math test. I reminded him that he should ask the teacher to read aloud any questions he had trouble with...and that it was his job to ask for help. During standardized tests children are either given entire test read aloud or selected sections read aloud. And if they have selected sections read aloud the student must ask for the information to be read. I'm not allowed to say do you want me to read this....they need to say will you read this for me...or can you read the next two pages etc...

    I don't believe the bus driver had any right discussing this information with him, however I do think that since difficult child is getting older, it may be time for you to start sharing some of this information with him.

    I am sorry I wrore such a long response...I guess I just got caught up in
    the idea and I really really hope I didn't say anything to upset you.
  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jannie-Don't worry nothing you wrote upset me:). difficult child definitely knows he is different (he knows he struggles more in reading and writing and other areas-he is in a pull out for math, reading and writing) and you are right that we have to start letting him know more. In the beginning of the year we thought he would be taking the regular bus and then there was a problem and it didn't seem like the bus dropped him where we thought so he started taking this bus. They changed his iep (even though we found out the other bus would drop him off in the right spot) because they felt he really couldn't safely ride the larger bus.

    I like how you tell your students about it! Wish you were working with my difficult child:)
  17. Jena

    Jena New Member


    Hi, I'm sorry I'm late to this. I'm sorry that this happened. It's confusing for difficult child, and aggrivating for you. I wish you luck in getting to the bottom of this. I"m sending you and difficult child hugs!