Guess it is time for an update

[PatriotsGirl]

She is still home and the place that was supposed to be finding a program has gone silent on me. I am giving them a break because of the weather we had, but plan on calling next week.
She is definitely not doing drugs. She is still chunky from quitting (thank the sweet Lord above), so I definitely know she isn't doing meth. She has put on about 40 pounds since her birthday in October. Her color is back and she looks fantastic! She ventured out with a friend one night last week and ended up coming straight back home because there were drugs there. Made me proud. Especially since she was homeless for a month before she came back here and she could have easily went back to doing it and didn't. (Shhh, I think she may even be quitting smoking again, too.) She isn't allowed to smoke on my property anyway but she has not left to go smoke and was washing her clothes last night because they "stunk" of cigarette smoke.
She has been wanting to take her prozac every day. She actually asks me for it now. She says it definitely helps with her irritability and I can sooo tell. She is now such a typical teen when she takes it on a normal basis. That is the key - taking it regularly. If she goes days with out taking it, we see the beast come back out.
So, that is all my good news. She is still not allowed to be here when we aren't. So, when I had to go to work last week, she went with me and ended up sleeping in my car most of the day. She could have went job hunting at the mall next to my work, but she didn't get out of bed in time and looked pretty crappy so I wasn't taking her. It would have been useless. I don't think she thought I would actually make her go in with me. She knows now...lol.
So my only issue now is the pure laziness. I told her she needs to look for a job. Now. So I am having to basically plant my foot up her butt to look for a job but after all we have been through, it seems like such a minor problem. But a problem nonetheless. We are not a family of lazy people. We both have very strong work ethics that were passed on to us by our parents so to have a lazy teen not even looking for work is driving us a bit mad. She has just 270 days until she turns 18....
Yes, I am very cautiously optimistic. I have been down the road of hope far too many times and ended up crashing and burning. But, I do still have hope. I am just driving a bit slower these days...

 

[Nancy]

I am glad for the peace in your home. I understand the cautious optimism, I get that from time to time also, but sadly it always comes crashing down. It doesn't stop me from hoping though because they can change, it's not impossible. I hope that she is finally seeing what she doesn't want and fights for what she does. A job is big.

Nancy

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I can honestly say that I have seen an effort to get away from the things that were destroying her life. That makes it a LOT easier to have her here and support her. She is such a joy to be around when she is off drugs and on prozac. I told her that this morning.
Now if I could only fix the sleeping all day. She falls asleep at wierd times, too. The other day I went upstairs and she had gotten out of the shower, was half dressed with a towel on her head and sprawled on the bed sleeping. Keep in mind, we are talking about a girl that does not watch tv, does not play video games, is not on the computer and not on the phone. She sleeps all night, too, so it isn't just an "off" sleep schedule. I had her bloodwork done and I am taking her to a sleep disorder doctor - I want to rule everything out before I completely accuse her of just being lazy and shoving my foot up her behind. I read that sleep disorders usually come on in a person's teens and they are not diagnosed. They are just thought of as lazy...

 

[Truthsong]

Hi, I'm new here. I've gotten some wonderful help since I signed on and I wanted to try to offer my help in return.

It sounds like your daughter is doing quite well and that is a real reason to be happy. Congratulations to you both for getting there.

Regarding the sleeping, it may just be that she is making up for lost sleep. If she was on drugs and homeless, she probably didn't get much sleep and the sleep she got was probably not restful. Also, I know that nicotine has the effect of giving one energy, so since she's trying to quit, she's probably got less energy than she is used to. I think it's good to get her bloodwork done. Also, you might want to just make sure her diet is healthy. If she's gained weight, it could be due to having to eat food that wasn't as good for her, and that drains one of energy as well. The healthier her diet is, the more energy she is likely to have.

About the job search... my easy child daughter, now 19, was having a heck of a time find a job. Not because there weren't jobs out there but because she was essentially frozen with fear. She had no idea what to do, say, etc. and that was causing her to put off her job search. I thought she was really being lazy and we had several arguments about it. But it turned out it was because she was so worried about doing it wrong, and was really not even sure where to start, that she kept putting it off. The longer she put it off, the more anxious she got and the cycle just went down from there. Finally, a family friend offered her an internship where he works and she's been there since June. She worked full time over the summer and is still there part time while she attends community college. Her work ethic makes me extremely proud and she has proven time and time again that she is willing to do the hard work they ask of her. So it was never that she didn't want to work, it was just that she didn't know how to get there from where she was. All that being said, I don't presume to know your daughter. But if you talk with her, maybe she will tell you what her reasons are for not making the effort and from there, you can find a way to help her or get her some help. I'm sure she wants to be successful since she has already made so much effort to improve her life in other ways. A job would really help her confidence and allow her to begin rebuilding. And she knows from observing your work ethic how good it feels to do well at work. So I am going to go out on a limb and say it's probably not because she doesn't want to work. I don't know about the specifics of your area, but in many places around the country, there are non-profit organizations that help people learn job skills. They teach people how to dress, what to say, what not to say, where to look and how to fill out an application/resume. I believe unemployment offices offer that if nothing else. If your area has something like that, you might want to consider taking her there. If your area doesn't have anything like that, perhaps showing her yourself would help. Or perhaps a combination of both.

I wish you all the best and hope these improvements become a permanent part of your lives.

 

[HaoZi]

Heavy sleeping can also be a sign of depression. When I was her age I had my first major depressive episode and was sleeping 18-20 hours a day. She could also still be sorting out of her system from the withdrawal. The only people that need more sleep than teens are babies, it's very normal for teens to sleep more and switch to a more nocturnal gear during their teen growing years. I want to say it's a possible side effect of the prozac as well. There's so many things that can cause excessive sleep or a change (up or down) in sleeping patterns.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Thanks - you are right - that is why I want to rule everything out first. Though thanks to weather conditions, our appointment is rescheduled to next week...