Guilt and Worry

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by KAO, Jul 28, 2018.

  1. KAO

    KAO New Member

    Hi Guys

    I just kicked my 23 year old son out of my house and I'm feeling so guilty and worried but enough is enough ! He is verbally abusive and the last straw was he was physically abusive with my husband (not my sons father) the verbal abuse and anger issues have been going on for 2 years which I beleive stem from the death of his dad.
    I just feel awful about this and would welcome any advice or coping skills to get trough this !

    Thank you !!
     
  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I assume, possibly wrongly, that at 23 your son has a job. If not he can apply for assistance or stay at a shelter or couch surf. It is amazing to most of us how resourceful our adult kids are when it comes to eating, sleeping and surviving on the streets. Many wont come home unless all rules are suspended. In other words they rather live in the streets than quit smoking pot or follow our limits on curfew, rent, or physical violence.

    To me physical violence is totally unacceptable in my home under my roof. There is no excuse for it. You cant stay here and punch somebody else who lives here. Did you call the police?

    We cope in different ways. Therapy is good for many of us. Al Anon is good if it applies. Self help books and youtube can help....I personally prefer a live neutral third party over doing it myself. A real person can provide comfort and wisdom a distant approach. We are too involved in our own problems.

    Light and love!
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2018
  3. KAO

    KAO New Member

    He does not have a job at the moment and has been diagnosed as bipolar with manic depression. His dad died tragically two and half years ago and he has not been the same since .. he is /was in college until this last semester but then we decided he should take a break get his mental health in order and what a mistake that was he has now gotten in trouble with the law and Just seems to be getting worse we have been to counseling, paid for him to go to the doctor for medication . This has been a 2 year struggle and I have done all I know to do .. and you are absolutely correct violence is unacceptable he crossed the line. My husband did not want to press charges we just want him out of our house. My son and my husband is what I love most in this world and I am just consumed with worry and guilt but know I cannot and will not tolerate this behavior .. just sad .. Thank you so much for your advice it is so appreciated !
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Agree that you cannot live with violence in your home no matter what his diagnosis.

    Don't feel guilty. You have to protect yourself.
     
  5. bluebell

    bluebell Active Member

    I am going thru the same thing. Just kicked my 21 year old son out due to threatening to kill his own father. Not the first time, but he's the age where we have to start believing what he says. I'm overwhelmingly sad too.
    Is substance abuse involved do you know?