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General Parenting
Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 9156" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>So there is one more HUGE difference between you and your mother. You are not her. If anything, your experience has made you all the more determined to do your best for your children.</p><p></p><p>None of us are perfect, but it seems to me that you are beating yourself up for your imperfections. The thing is, you acknowledge them and you admit your failings to your children, which is a very freeing thing for them and for you.</p><p></p><p>As you said, your mother was sick. And she never acknowledged it, from what you say. </p><p></p><p>Whatever problems you may have inherited from her, plus whatever she imposed on you with her appalling treatment of you, have contributed to who you are but are not ALL that you are. You have survived. You're still here. And you are a good mother, if for no other reason than you fight for your kids, you admit your failings and you work with your kids to overcome both yours and theirs.</p><p></p><p>What more can any of us do?</p><p></p><p>I do accept your concerns that came out in your therapy session. I certainly don't want you to think I don't value what you shared - it must have been so difficult for you. It's just that I see you as a good, caring person and I want you to still see that, too.</p><p></p><p>What you had to endure, and what your kids endure - it's different. Same with me. I have tried to learn from my past and compensate for it, it's all I can do. How would I cope if I had to compensate for a past like yours? I don't know. I hope I would do as well as I see you doing.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 9156, member: 1991"] So there is one more HUGE difference between you and your mother. You are not her. If anything, your experience has made you all the more determined to do your best for your children. None of us are perfect, but it seems to me that you are beating yourself up for your imperfections. The thing is, you acknowledge them and you admit your failings to your children, which is a very freeing thing for them and for you. As you said, your mother was sick. And she never acknowledged it, from what you say. Whatever problems you may have inherited from her, plus whatever she imposed on you with her appalling treatment of you, have contributed to who you are but are not ALL that you are. You have survived. You're still here. And you are a good mother, if for no other reason than you fight for your kids, you admit your failings and you work with your kids to overcome both yours and theirs. What more can any of us do? I do accept your concerns that came out in your therapy session. I certainly don't want you to think I don't value what you shared - it must have been so difficult for you. It's just that I see you as a good, caring person and I want you to still see that, too. What you had to endure, and what your kids endure - it's different. Same with me. I have tried to learn from my past and compensate for it, it's all I can do. How would I cope if I had to compensate for a past like yours? I don't know. I hope I would do as well as I see you doing. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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