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General Parenting
Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 9159" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Janet, I think your self reflection on your parenting and your possible choices is a wise and just thing all parents should do.</p><p>Strip away the defensiveness, strip away blame and need to portray oneself as an innocent victim. </p><p>There are a fairly big percentage on this site of difficult child parents who are children of difficult children. Many parents don't look to see what is best for their kids but what looks good to the outside world. On the other hand the rules of society help us with a set of rules to bounce off of. We know that if our children are bruised or scared or starved, we will be held accountable. Not all adults are an accurate judge of excessive behavior.</p><p>I forever look to my own contribution to either of my childrens problems. Some of it is genetic but some of it is my own parenting style and some is my own personality. I'm not even a difficult child.</p><p>Self reflection and the truth is how we learn and how we improve. Learning to get past your mothers contribution is important. In my mind, blame makes me a victim. It gives an explanation but at some point, blame is a waste. </p><p>I'm sure Cory is predispossed and you did the best you could and you made mistakes. There isn't anyone here who did it all right. </p><p>Thanks for bringing this up. I hope to continue to understand who I am by looking back and I hope to improve myself as a person by applying the lessons learned from the mistakes to the future both as a parent and as a person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 9159, member: 3"] Janet, I think your self reflection on your parenting and your possible choices is a wise and just thing all parents should do. Strip away the defensiveness, strip away blame and need to portray oneself as an innocent victim. There are a fairly big percentage on this site of difficult child parents who are children of difficult children. Many parents don't look to see what is best for their kids but what looks good to the outside world. On the other hand the rules of society help us with a set of rules to bounce off of. We know that if our children are bruised or scared or starved, we will be held accountable. Not all adults are an accurate judge of excessive behavior. I forever look to my own contribution to either of my childrens problems. Some of it is genetic but some of it is my own parenting style and some is my own personality. I'm not even a difficult child. Self reflection and the truth is how we learn and how we improve. Learning to get past your mothers contribution is important. In my mind, blame makes me a victim. It gives an explanation but at some point, blame is a waste. I'm sure Cory is predispossed and you did the best you could and you made mistakes. There isn't anyone here who did it all right. Thanks for bringing this up. I hope to continue to understand who I am by looking back and I hope to improve myself as a person by applying the lessons learned from the mistakes to the future both as a parent and as a person. [/QUOTE]
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Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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