Happy Birthday my difficult child

[SmallTownMom]

Well my darling difficult child turns 9 today! He spent the weekend with his dad and step mom, she was having a small family reunion and wanted him with them. I thought it was a great idea. My difficult child does not spend a lot of time with his dad, he says that his dad is to mean and scary. I was out of town with my easy child at a youth conference and had an amazing time.
I went to pick up my difficult child from his dads and he greeted me with a huge smile, said he had an amazing time. He told me of all the fun things he got to do. He was given a card from my aunt as soon as we got in the car (he got $ which he loves), went to my dads and he got a movie that he wanted. He asked to go to the store and spend his birthday money, not a problem :O).
When we get home I give him my gift, he looks at me and says "really? can we exchange it?". .... ummm ok.... I got the video game he had asked for. He goes into his room and is very solom.
When I see him next he proceds to tell me that this is the "worst birthday ever, he wishes he was still at his dads, why can't I be fun like his dad..."
WOW!!!!
He now is acting like nothing happened... I am exhausted!
I hate that no matter what I do it is NEVER enough, I feel like I can never make him happy!

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm sorry your difficult child was so rude; it is such a typical difficult child thing to say. Sending hugs your way!

 

[hearts and roses]

Oh boy, do I remember those moments. Whenever difficult child came home from her dads she treated me like garbage. You need to grow thicker skin so it doesn't get to you. It stinks! IT STINKS! Hugs to your mommy heart, it's not fair that he was so rude to you, try not to take it personally. Sometimes I just wanted to send her back to spite her-see how she liked that 24/7...no party, I can tell you.

 

[keista]

((((HUGS)))) Well, my friend's mother had a very bizarre concept that SHE was the one who deserved acknowledgement on the kid's birthdays. I'm beginning to see the wisdom in this. So, Happy Birthday to you!

 

[Bunny]

Your post ended in a way I was not expecting. It sounded like he had a great time with his dad, was happy to see you when you picked him up, got to go shopping with birthday money. It all sounded good - until he was rude to you. I'm so sorry. My difficult child has done that on quite a few occasions and it can be very discouraging. Hearts and Roses is right, though. You did what you thought was good for his brithday. If he's not happy with it, it should be HIS problem. Not yours. I told difficult child one year, after he spent an hour SCREAMING that he got NOTHING that he wanted for Christmas, that he was lucky he got anything at all and if he kept it up I would return it all and he would wind up with nothing.

 

[buddy]

oh yeah, it really does stink when they turn on you like that. I was told Q had a great day in school, he came out toward the car and suddenly came up to me and grabbed my arm digging his nails in.... one of the aids had to pull his hands off. then I was every name in the book. I got food into him and tried to not let it affect me (but r efused to give into any of his demands) and he did grab my shirt a f ew times while I was driving. Finally he stopped and was fine.... it was really only 25 minutes of transition and hunger but it really stinks to be the target of everything. He acts as if I never give him anything a nd when he demands things he w ants it now (not going to happen, you wanna talk nice and negotiate a way to earn SOME things, yup)..... I dont have the dad issue though. Is dad the vacation kind of dad or does he generally join in the dirty part of parenting too?

Sorry he hurt your feelings. We do have to have thick skin, but it still stings a little.

 

[SmallTownMom]

Is dad the vacation kind of dad or does he generally join in the dirty part of parenting too?

difficult children dad usually doen't do to much with the boys, but they get to play video games all day and stay up late. Mom has rules and expectations ..... therefore I am not "fun".

 

[buddy]

Well, then of course you are going to get dumped on. HOpefully he will see the bigger picture when he grows older....hopefully.

 

[HopeRemains]

Oh the joys of being the "mean" parent because you have to discipline while the other is nothing but video games and all you can eat snacktimes. We've had that thrown in our faces too many times to count! It does sting, but if you can wrap your head around the fact that they are just lashing out to lash out it helps. Some days we are better at this than others.