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Happy Endings?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724931" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My daughter cold quit meth and coke. We joined Al Anon. Threw her out at 19 for drugging. I believe only tough love works for these kids. Our natural instincts to nurture and protect do not work with the illness of addiction. The flu, yes. Addiction, no. We have to do what is uncomfortable and hard or they don't improve. They still may not...but I truly believe there is a much better chance once they know we will no longer shield, rescue or give money. Been on this forum over ten years and the success stories here are all, as I remember, when the parents finally gave up helping. And the kids knew they meant it. I can't think of one alternative story.</p><p></p><p>Daughter has been twelve years clean and she is sweet and thriving. It takes guts on our part to make them see that life as an abused of us and druggie doesn't reap any benefits. If we feel sorry fof them and they feel we still will have their backs...that doesn't seem to do it.</p><p></p><p>I am well aware that this is not what moms want to hear and that, like me, you will try until you maybe realize one day you can't do anything to help. I would not have believed it either at one time nor would I have wanted to. I would have thought someone who posted this was coldhearted and mean. I think now that tough love is hard on Mom but very compassionate and as effective as it gets for the hard disease of addiction. But if anyone has a story here of nurturing and financially supporting an addict to sobriety, please post it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724931, member: 1550"] My daughter cold quit meth and coke. We joined Al Anon. Threw her out at 19 for drugging. I believe only tough love works for these kids. Our natural instincts to nurture and protect do not work with the illness of addiction. The flu, yes. Addiction, no. We have to do what is uncomfortable and hard or they don't improve. They still may not...but I truly believe there is a much better chance once they know we will no longer shield, rescue or give money. Been on this forum over ten years and the success stories here are all, as I remember, when the parents finally gave up helping. And the kids knew they meant it. I can't think of one alternative story. Daughter has been twelve years clean and she is sweet and thriving. It takes guts on our part to make them see that life as an abused of us and druggie doesn't reap any benefits. If we feel sorry fof them and they feel we still will have their backs...that doesn't seem to do it. I am well aware that this is not what moms want to hear and that, like me, you will try until you maybe realize one day you can't do anything to help. I would not have believed it either at one time nor would I have wanted to. I would have thought someone who posted this was coldhearted and mean. I think now that tough love is hard on Mom but very compassionate and as effective as it gets for the hard disease of addiction. But if anyone has a story here of nurturing and financially supporting an addict to sobriety, please post it! [/QUOTE]
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