Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Happy New Year
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 726195" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Newstart, I would imagine that to lose your son who was such a love to you and now to be connected to your daughter who exhibits such negative behavior towards you....would be very difficult to come to terms with. Perhaps it isn't that you "need your daughter's love so much" as it is that she is the only child you have left. And, she may not know how to love in the way your son, or other 'typical' people do.....she may not be able to fill that role for you. I know my daughter has a very different sense of love and relationships. My heart goes out to you. </p><p></p><p>I have quite a number of mentally ill folks in my bio-family and over a lot of time I've had to figure out ways I can connect with them without harming myself or taking on their skewered, broken, dysfunctional, often toxic thinking. It's been quite the process. With some, I've had to disconnect completely. With others, it's limited. Perhaps it might be prudent for you to limit your time with your daughter. Remove yourself from the fray when it ends up being harmful, disrespectful, unkind, cruel, rude, harsh, deceptive or mean. When she lies, steals, cheats or is in any way manipulating you, take yourself away. I've had to do that with my daughter and over time she became aware of what I was not willing to tolerate and she stopped. I had to continue to set strict boundaries around bad behavior. Behavior you or I would not accept from anyone else. Why would we allow it from our daughters? We both deserve more than that.</p><p></p><p>Last year I made a commitment to myself to only be in relationships where I felt compassion and kindness. We deserve that. There is no reason my daughter can't treat me with compassion and kindness......I had to stop allowing any other behaviors. You can choose the kind of care and love you want around you Newstart......and if your daughter cannot abide by your wishes....then it may be time to disconnect from her until she can learn how.</p><p></p><p>Take care of YOU now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 726195, member: 13542"] Newstart, I would imagine that to lose your son who was such a love to you and now to be connected to your daughter who exhibits such negative behavior towards you....would be very difficult to come to terms with. Perhaps it isn't that you "need your daughter's love so much" as it is that she is the only child you have left. And, she may not know how to love in the way your son, or other 'typical' people do.....she may not be able to fill that role for you. I know my daughter has a very different sense of love and relationships. My heart goes out to you. I have quite a number of mentally ill folks in my bio-family and over a lot of time I've had to figure out ways I can connect with them without harming myself or taking on their skewered, broken, dysfunctional, often toxic thinking. It's been quite the process. With some, I've had to disconnect completely. With others, it's limited. Perhaps it might be prudent for you to limit your time with your daughter. Remove yourself from the fray when it ends up being harmful, disrespectful, unkind, cruel, rude, harsh, deceptive or mean. When she lies, steals, cheats or is in any way manipulating you, take yourself away. I've had to do that with my daughter and over time she became aware of what I was not willing to tolerate and she stopped. I had to continue to set strict boundaries around bad behavior. Behavior you or I would not accept from anyone else. Why would we allow it from our daughters? We both deserve more than that. Last year I made a commitment to myself to only be in relationships where I felt compassion and kindness. We deserve that. There is no reason my daughter can't treat me with compassion and kindness......I had to stop allowing any other behaviors. You can choose the kind of care and love you want around you Newstart......and if your daughter cannot abide by your wishes....then it may be time to disconnect from her until she can learn how. Take care of YOU now. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Happy New Year
Top